husband update

[crazymama30]

I got husband in to psychiatrist this evening at 5pm. Had to cancel difficult child's psychiatrist appointment, but we will reschedule that. Of the 2 difficult child is way more stable right now.

So husband has pain doctor at 2:40pm, and psychiatrist at 5pm. Oh yay.

 

[witzend]

Let us know what you find out!

 

[crazymama30]

Unless I find out that I am crazier than him! I am feeling a little off right now. I was actually sick to my stomach when I called his psychiatrist, I have never done that and hope to never do it again. It just felt so, so too much like a caregiver and not like a wife. I don't know which role I am supposed to play, and I certainly am tired of these blasted roles. Calgon take me away.

 

[gcvmom]

Here's a rope with a knot on it -- grab hold and hang on! We'll hold the other end until things settle down for you I hope the docs can figure out what's going on with him. Sounds almost like TIA's.

 

[crazymama30]

yep, that is one of the things I thought of G. Could be the medications though too. I am really thinking medications. psychiatrist in 1hr.

 

[susiestar]

Keeping fingers crossed that whatever it is can be diagnosed and treated easily and that husband will be compliant with whatever it is.

Hope you have gotten the keys away from him. Time to start keeping yours locked up where he cannot get them. Just keep a key to the lockbox or cabinet on a chain around your neck.

Sending lots of prayers and hugs.

 

[crazymama30]

husband was voluntarily admitted to psychiatric hospital. Kids took it ok. psychiatrist admitted him from his office, and I drove him over. It was so hard to do, I cannot even imagine doing it with a child. All you that have had to do that have my sympathy. It has to be more horrible when it is your child and they are upset and don't want to go.

psychiatrist thinks he is manic (guess this means we went from BiPolar (BP) II to BiPolar (BP) I?) and his lack of sleep is causing some of the symptoms so the plan is to whack him with medications to get him to sleep. Hope it works.

He just called and he is kinda freaked. He has never been in a psychiatric hospital before, and says this looks like jail (he unfortunately has been there several days). I am sure it does and I am sure that does not help. I think this may be a good reality check for him. He is talking to the kids, and I think that helped them a lot. They are so worried about him.

We will go see him tommorrow, hope that goes well.

 

[flutterby]

I was wondering about mania earlier.

I'm glad he's getting help. I'm sorry it's so hard on you.

(((hugs)))

 

[gcvmom]

Hopefully this will be good for him and they can get his medications straightened out and he'll be feeling a whole lot better. I'm sure it's very upsetting for the kids, but they need to understand that dad's sick, and he's at the hospital where they can help him get better. It's no different than if he'd had gallstones or pneumonia. It just happens to be the organ in his skull that's messed up right now. Maybe the kids can pick out a special snack or some little care package to take to him tomorrow -- it might give them some sense of control over something and feel like they are helping in some small way. Hopefully husband doesn't feel any shame about this, either. Kids need to know that it's okay to need and accept help, especially in the face of mental illness.

Hope the visit goes well tomorrow!

 

[totoro]

I am so sorry.

I hope the medications work quickly and he stabilizes and is home fast.

It shouldn't feel like jail... it just isn't right.

 

[crazymama30]

toto nothing about this is fair or right. Kids and I went to visit earlier, it was ok. Played some UNO, hangman, and a few other games. Were there for 1.5hrs. I am going back tonight alone.

husband makes comments around the kids that I wish he wouldn't. Nothing bad, but like it feels like jail, the food is better in jail (yes, he would know--kids are aware of that but not sure if they remember). I guess some guy checked himself out today, and husband asked me why he couldn't. I told him he needs to get his medications straightened out.

I am going to talk with him and tell him this is an oppurtunity he needs to take advantage of. His actions the other night were very scary and potentially dangerous and I do not take them lightly. He is not understanding why I took it so serious and I guess since he is really not him I can understand that. I think he wishes it never happened, and so do. I wish he was not BiPolar (BP), that difficult child was perfect, and that all was well again. It just can't be.

Thank you all for your support and care. This is such a bad time for us. I am functional, but barely. I have an appointment with my therapist next week. I feel like I am falling apart inside.

 

[Wiped Out]

CM,
Many gentle hugs and prayers going out to you, husband and your family. I'm glad you have an appointment for you next week; mine has been an amazing help to me.

 

[gcvmom]

Hang in there, CM. I think you might be a wee bit too far north of me, but I swear if you were within 50 miles I'd zip over and treat you to some coffee, or chocolate, or both!

(((HUgs)))

 

[Lothlorien]

I'm so sorry that this is happening right now. I hope he's stable soon and that you never have to do this again.

 

[smallworld]

Hang in there, CM. You are handling a very difficult situation with a lot of strength and common sense.

 

[witzend]

I hope he will be well soon. Big hugs...

 

[crazymama30]

Well we had a good visit. I kinda chewed on him a bit about telling the psychiatrist today (not his normal one) what he wanted to hear. He was making up stories about what happened on Wednesday night, and what he made up was worse than what happened. That is just not helpful.

We wrote some questions in his notebook for his psychiatrist, he will see his normal psychiatrist tommorrow. I am truly impressed with his psychiatrist and how empathetic he is. He is never condescending to husband or myself. He has always thanked me for my input and never made me feel unwelcome or unneeded or in the way. husband trusts him as I have seen him trust no one.
I have had interactions with some of the other psychiatrists in that group at work, and one is an arrogant jerk, the other is burned out, and there may be afew others that seem ok, but I have not had enough to do with them to know.



I told husband I wanted him home more than anything, but that the kids and my safety are first and that when he is himself he would never harm us, but he was not himself the other night. He was scared I was going to dump him there and get rid of him. I told him that if I wanted to get rid of him there are much cheaper ways to go about it and then I would not visit or take the kids to see him. I told him that while it hoovers to be there, he needs to be there and they can do more with his medications there than I can do at home.

I feel so much better after our visit tonight. I can see the real him peeking through, and it gives me hope.

I really cannot say in any way how much I appreciate the support of all you on this board. No one, or very few, that I know in the real world have any idea of how mental illness can rip people apart. How it can completely change the people we love and how hard it is to help them find themselves again without enabling and losing ourselves. I think what I find so difficult is that if husband had cancer, or some type of physical ailment others would be more understanding. While right now he is by no means stable nor himself, he still deserves compassion, empathy and understanding. Not many really know what is going on, I have been telling them that he is on a lot of medications and really out of it. Our society is so cruel to people with mental illness, and in that cruel to the families.

 

[tiredmommy]

{{{CM}}} I'm so sorry I missed this and your earlier post. Please remember to take some of this time to care for yourself. The burden you've been carrying is quite heavy and now is a good time to take a little break. Try to do something good for yourself, the kids or husband. Maybe take an hour to read a magazine, go for a walk, take the kids to the movies or spend some time baking cookies to bring to husband. Just remember that husband is safe now and hopefully the medication adjustment will yield positive results. {{{Hugs}}}

 

[crazymama30]

TM, did you say take a break or that I will break??? lol Sorry. My warped sense of humor is returning. I will hopefully be able to do that next week, I am seeing my therapist Thursday and if I am too out of whack on Monday I will call and talk to her on the phone.

difficult child's psychiatrist made the comment that my plate is sure full. Some days I feel like I have a platter, the plate was not big enough!

 

[tiredmommy]

Sweetie... you have a full sized tray. Maybe you should get a cart with wheels.