husband went to the T-doctor

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ML, Sep 1, 2009.

  1. ML

    ML Guest

    We've been seeing her to help with parenting manster. I'm the one that usually goes. Well I get the feeling that their session was a "bash ML and her parenting" hour. He came home and told me all the things we're (I'm) doing wrong and that therapist thinks we should change.

    We are trying to get on the same page here. I've finally come to trust husband enough to give him equal parenting input after a year of sobriety and working his program. I appreciate his willingness to take on raising manster, I really do. But he thinks it's all behavioral and won't even concede that some of this stuff is biological in nature, except for the ADHD and ODD part. He's even got the therapist now questionning the AS diagnosis because for example he reads facial cues just fine. I guess it's just easier for him to blame bad parenting period. I wish it were that simple. There are just no easier answers. I believe in picking battles and I feel like husband wants to make everything a power struggle and that just escalates things.

    I do ackowledge that I have some things to change with our dynamics and I'm working on them. We enrolled manster in a westernaires program to teach him to ride and take care of horses. husband wants this to be something that is their thing and I can come if I want to. I probably won't for a while because manster will look to me to rescue him if it gets too uncomfortale in some way and I need to get out of the rescuing business if he's ever going to have a chance.

    ODAAT, right?
    Lasted edited by : Sep 1, 2009
  2. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    ML, how terribly frustrating. I remember those days when my husband fought every diagnosis & we tried every behavioral intervention we could think of, read about, heard of & then some.

    ML, my greatest success in getting a good treatment team for the tweedles was to insist that we all be on the same page or we were just wasting time & burning money. It took a good 3 years to get a competent team on board & it's still working.

    husband finally came on board after all the testing, the diagnosis's were set in stone. If he couldn't come to an agreement about something with tweedle dee or dum I had to make the decision and he agreed to shut up.

    I hope you can find some way for therapist to respect the diagnosis & valid treatment for difficult child can begin. It may be time to contact another therapist.

    I'm glad you & husband are working on your issues as well ~ you need to be a team in raising a difficult child. Keeping positive thoughts for you & yours.
  3. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    My husband used to blame everything on my parenting if difficult child was only kinda out of control, but when he went clear over the edge it was that he needed more medications. It was awful.

    For us, and our situation is different than yours, it got better once husband got the medications he needed(not that he is on the right ones yet).

    I remember those blame days, and would not revisit them for anything. Hugs. I think if psychiatrist or therapist tried to blame it all on me on regular basis I would find new docs.