First, I am PETRIFIED even more due to the ludicrous court ruling that was brought to my attention. http://abcnews.go.com/US/grandmother-sex-offender-fight-custody-child/story?id=14089779 Second, if you respond to my post please refrain from using the *I* word. My paranoia and secrecy is for my children's benefit. I do NOT want them finding this stuff out before they come of age. Bad enough that it looks like I WILL have to bring this out in court for the divorce, making it public record, making anyone able to dig up the info. I don't think the kids will find it on their own - I'm thinking more like a Texas Cheerleader scenario where someone wants to "get" to my kids. So, I've mentioned that husband left because he refused to stop doing something really, really, really bad. I'd send the kids to visit him, but he continues to do that something really, really, really bad in his home. I think I've mentioned that there is NO 'made for TV movie' (ie no real life stories to research - I tried) for this situation. That does not make this situation more horrific than any other, but certainly makes me feel more isolated because I have absolutely no frame of reference on how to deal or respond or move forward while protecting my kids. Here goes: husband is stuppin' his sister. Yup, you read it right. They were caught together on my couch, just down the hall from the kids' bedrooms, by their mother, during the sister's first visit to my home. I didn't get the lowdown on the showdown until a few months later when big mouths, and adult difficult child egos and tempers made it all blow up on a message board. (too long and complex a story to get into). They are currently living together in another state. I can only assume that they are masquerading as husband and wife, because, why wouldn't they? They have the same last name, have a romantic relationship, so why let anyone know they are actually siblings? Problem is I don't have any CURRENT proof of their relationship. If we go to trial (which looks like we might) I can depose his employer and coworkers. This would be a real PITA, but can probably have it done and have them appear as witnesses via phone. HOWEVER I don't want them to fire him over this. No job=minimal support order and no HOPE of ever getting a support payment. What I have: Old Instant message transcripts between the two of them having some racy conversations. Old Instant message transcripts between her and her friend with her declaring her eternal love for him with innuendo of a threesome. Her signature on all the return receipts I requested when sending dv papers. His paystub deduction is listed as married filing joint I'm still waiting for him to send me his bank records and Credit Card records (required under disclosure). I'm pretty sure he hasn't sent them yet because she's on them with him. As it is, he did not send copies of his tax returns - only IRS transcripts. Them having joint accounts isn't proof of anything (I've known other siblings to do this) but it just adds 'more'. I might be able to contact her last boyfriend and have him write an affidavit. She told him all about her plans to run away with husband. But that's old news too. I haven't talked to mother in law since she moved out - over a year ago - and considering her health has probably only deteriorated, she won't be of any help. Besides, what she witness is also several years old. So yeah, I'm concerned I'll get a STOOOOOOPID judge. I had a hearing 4 weeks ago in front of a General Magistrate, and he was good. husband tried protesting me taking the kids out of state for vacation claiming he hasn't seen them AT ALL for 4 years (not true), and the GM came down on him citing the fact that he has done NOTHING to legally try to see the kids for 4 years (true). BUT I will probably have to bring up this issue to show cause for my desire of sole custody and show why I have only allowed limited contact. I have always said that he can see the kids ANY time he wants but SHE CAN NOT. I do have messages between us discussing that but he never admits to the situation in them. The "pros" all agree that it's not an acceptable situation for the kids, but don't have any idea in how to guide me in dealing with the kids with this (very rare unusual situation), so we just don't deal with it and keep it a secret. So, how much more do I need. I don't think I can afford a PI. I would have maxed my credit cards for it, but I just maxed them out for the transmission on my car. UHG. Again, please refrain from using the *I* word in any responses.