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husband's hair-brained idea!
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<blockquote data-quote="Sunlight" data-source="post: 9370" data-attributes="member: 97"><p>anyone who has had more than one child knows that parenting is not "one size fits all". what worked for angela may not help melissa at all. painful pasts with our kids, believe me, we have not forgotten. </p><p></p><p>none of us is a professional counselor. even the pros get frustrated when their clients do not take their advice. truth is, the advice may not be what is needed. sometimes all that is needed is pure simple support in letting the person posting know that they are heard. some advice may not be what is best for the situation. </p><p></p><p>I believe Sue loves her husband and they both want to protect and help their daughter in whatever way they can. Melissa seems to have issues of abandonment and dependency that have not been addressed. if she refuses help, she cannot be forced. so what is left?</p><p></p><p>sue and her husband can learn more about abandonment issues. perhaps they need to be even more reassuring to melissa that while they will not protect her from the consequences of breaking the law, they will always love her and that their love cannot be lost forever. </p><p></p><p>melissa is raging because she is afraid. she has been lied to or left behind by someone she needed to depend on. she needs to know she will not be abandoned or left unloved and alone. she seeks companionship.</p><p></p><p>her boyfriend left her. she reacted by raging because she could not stop it. now she is depressed because she has no one else to love her but her parents. even that may be confusing for her. she knows she is old enough to be more independent but she does not see how she can get this way.</p><p></p><p>sue, I would read more about abandonment issues and dependency behavior. I will post some internet resources to learn more about that. you also may want to seek professional advice on how to cope with her or help her even if she is unwilling. someone may be able to give you hints on how to react to her.</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.newliving.com/issues/nov_2003/articles/abandon.html" target="_blank">http://www.newliving.com/issues/nov_2003/articles/abandon.html</a></p><p></p><p><a href="http://mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doctor&amp;id=526&amp;cn=8" target="_blank">http://mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doctor&amp;id=526&amp;cn=8</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sunlight, post: 9370, member: 97"] anyone who has had more than one child knows that parenting is not "one size fits all". what worked for angela may not help melissa at all. painful pasts with our kids, believe me, we have not forgotten. none of us is a professional counselor. even the pros get frustrated when their clients do not take their advice. truth is, the advice may not be what is needed. sometimes all that is needed is pure simple support in letting the person posting know that they are heard. some advice may not be what is best for the situation. I believe Sue loves her husband and they both want to protect and help their daughter in whatever way they can. Melissa seems to have issues of abandonment and dependency that have not been addressed. if she refuses help, she cannot be forced. so what is left? sue and her husband can learn more about abandonment issues. perhaps they need to be even more reassuring to melissa that while they will not protect her from the consequences of breaking the law, they will always love her and that their love cannot be lost forever. melissa is raging because she is afraid. she has been lied to or left behind by someone she needed to depend on. she needs to know she will not be abandoned or left unloved and alone. she seeks companionship. her boyfriend left her. she reacted by raging because she could not stop it. now she is depressed because she has no one else to love her but her parents. even that may be confusing for her. she knows she is old enough to be more independent but she does not see how she can get this way. sue, I would read more about abandonment issues and dependency behavior. I will post some internet resources to learn more about that. you also may want to seek professional advice on how to cope with her or help her even if she is unwilling. someone may be able to give you hints on how to react to her. [url="http://www.newliving.com/issues/nov_2003/articles/abandon.html"]http://www.newliving.com/issues/nov_2003/articles/abandon.html[/url] [url="http://mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doctor&id=526&cn=8"]http://mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doctor&id=526&cn=8[/url] [/QUOTE]
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