Husbands suicide attempt - Update - PLEASE read

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by goldenguru, Nov 22, 2008.

  1. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    I'm reposting this because I didn't know how to add an update to the title. Mods - please correct however you feel best. Thanks. GG.

    Hi Ladies -

    Thank you all SOOOO much for the prayers, well wishes and ideas about alternative therapies. Hubby is still in the hospital. He is pretty emotionally fragile and unstable at this point. I hope he turns a corner quickly, because my 'inpatient' days are running out quickly.

    His psychiatrist did something yesterday that has left me angry, perplexed and very unsure of what to do next.

    In a nutshell the psychiatrist (who I really respect and have known for about 6 years) came into the meeting and basically told hubby that he had some 'inside information' via the 'holy spirit'. This info included 1) that my hubby had suffered horrible physical abuse as a child 2) hubby had raped a woman in high school 3) that hubby beat me regularly and with such ferocity that I was in danger. He also said that I was afraid for my life and afraid to come forward about the abuse.

    When hubby called me (crying like a baby) I was mortified by these horrible accusations. I immediately called his therapist to see what the heck was going on. The therapist verified my husbands story and claimed he (therapist) was absolutely perplexed by the whole meeting. That he (therapist) had worked with the psychiatrist for 11 years and had NEVER, EVER seen anything like this.

    I called my youngest brother in law just to verify that there was not physical abuse in their home. He adamantly, unequivocally denied any such abuse.

    I know with 100% certainly that my husband has never raised a hand to me in anger. EVER. Or our children. Beating me senseless? Preposterous.

    I can't disprove the accusations about the rape. But, he certainly has never been in trouble with the law.

    The whole thing is way off the weird-o-meter. I am angry. I am hurt. I am so confused.

    Of course, the doctor was gone for the weekend when I called the office to ask what the heck is going on?

    Do you think this could be some sort of 'shock doctor' head game? I asked the therapist if it was some sort of unconventional therapeutic technique that I'm unaware of. Could he be trying to elicit some repressed memory? (a practice frowned upon the the APA I might add).

    Honestly, this could not be any weirder. I would so appreciate your thoughts.
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2008
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Oh my goodness. Shock jock, my foot, what a kook! This psychiatrist is cruel and heartless and I'd report him. I would fire this jerk NOW and get another psychiatrist. He's going to mess with your hub's head until he's confused and in worse shape and maybe finally CAUSE his death. This psychiatrist has no what he's doing, I'd report him. Most of all, I'd insist he get lost YESTERDAY.
  3. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    This sounds unprofessional to me.
    Something is out of order.
    Who is his supervisor?
    Can you talk to a hospital administrator?
    Can you get another doctor to treat him?
    I would LOOK into this further and NOT let it go under any circumstances. Keep your calm, but be adamant that you recgonize this treatment therapy your husband has received is unsatisfactory and potentially dangerous. Your husband needs are critical and he deserves good quality care immediately.
    Lasted edited by : Nov 22, 2008
  4. Jena

    Jena New Member

    That is by far the strangest approach to therapy that i have ever heard of. I really don't get any of it. So, what your saying is the therapist said all of this to your husband, stating ok i figured it out this is what you have done???

    Has he put him under hypnosis at all that you know of?? I'd def. contact this "jerk" once weekend is over and get to the bottom of it. He's in crisis mode right now and this is what he is telling him? That is realy not cool at all.

    I'd look for another therapist or pyschdoc immediately. that kind of thing could throw anyone over the edge.
  5. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    psychiatrist stated that "he (psychiatrist) had received information" about my husband. Somehow the psychiatrist also included the Holy Spirit's role in bringing this information to his attention. Yes that is what I am saying. It reminds me of some sort of 'good cop bad cop' technique used by investigators to get alleged criminals to confess to their crimes.

    The more I think about this, the more strange it all seems.
  6. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    GG, it sounds like psychiatrist had some kind of mental crisis himself to be spouting off that baloney....and in front of witnesses, no less! That is beyond bizarre; I don't care who you have to contact, I would have him removed from your husband's case NOW.

  7. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    Golden, is it possible for you to contact the customer service department at the hospital? (And they all have one, though it may be called something else.) When we have been confronted with an unresponsive medical professional in the past, that is what we have done.

    Register a complaint, just like you would if you received poor service from any other business.

    And a hospital is a business.

    The physician is then forced to deal with a patient he may otherwise have tended to ignore to resolve the complaint his employer (the hospital) has now been made aware of.

    If nothing else, you will receive an answer as to why these accusations were leveled.

  8. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Holy cr@p! This is horrible! I would not let this man ever talk to my husband again, it sounds as if he has gone off of the deep end. I don't care what sort of therapy he wants to call it, it is not OK. Period. Ever. The doctor is bonkers.

    That is weirder than weird.

    On another note, I never got to reply to your other post - but I am so sorry this has all happened in the first place.

    I saw on the health news the other day that magnetic therapy has finally been approved by the FDA to help severely depressed patients. Has husband been part of any of these trials by chance? If not I would look into it, it seems to have pretty high success rate. It is a series of 4 sessions or so a week, for 20 minutes, over the course of a couple of months, where they apply a magnet to the frontal lobe of the brain. guys are in my prayers. And don't ever let that wonky man near your husband again.
    (My Ex had a therapist for years, and one day the therapist called my Ex to tell him he was gay, had left his wife of 20 years, and would my Ex be interested in hooking up. Yea. Un-freaking believable. It messed with Exs head for years.
    doctor, or no docs, these are still people - people that can lose their perspective, professionalism, reality, at the drop of hat. As our husbands, friends, and children's advocate we have to be the ones to help protect them from these vultures.)
  9. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    My gosh, GG, this psychiatrist sounds like he is having a mental breakdown! If he says the holy spirit gave him info sounds like he is delusional. You know, I think a lot of people go into the mental health professions because they have problems themselves--who knows how stable this psychiatrist is--surely isn't stable right now!

    I am so sorry, this is all you two needed. Please do report him and don't let him near your husband again. Please update us!

  10. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    GG, Jane said the same thing that I was going to suggest.

    I agree with everyone else that you should register a complaint with the hospital, and do whatever you have to, to keep this man away from your husband.

    It does sound like the psychiatrist has fallen off the deep end, and with your husband in crisis, that's the last thing he needs to be dealing with.

    So very sorry for your pain. Glad you have the therapist to back you up.
  11. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Go directly to a lawyer. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Go to a lawyer. There is no way that psychiatrist ever sees hubby again. There is no way hubby is let out of the treatment setting until you have no worries that he is safe to come home. No matter how nutso that psychiatrist was, it was incumbent upon someone treating your husband to stand up right then and there to put a stop to this. I had something like this happen with M when he was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC), but it was an outrageous set of lies told about me conjured up by the therapist who took offense to my wanting to have a report and plan written before his release. They weren't treating me, so there was no malpractice. This is malpractice, and I'd let that hospital know that you will sue to the full extent possible if your husband is not completely stable upon his release, on their dime, with a full treatment plan implemented.
  12. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    This goes beyond malpractice. It's downright destructive and vicious. It's a power trip. He must have an agenda. Trying to figure this out is not what you need during this intensely painful period in your relationship. So very sorry.
  13. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    Well thanks for the advise ladies. There is a whole other caveat that I did not mention originally.

    I am in my senior year of college doing my clinincals currently. Guess where I'm doing my clinical studies? Oh yes - in the psyhospital where hubby is now residing. I know this doctor, therapist, and the staff not just as a family member, but also as a colleague. To hire an attorney or even speak to an administrator is going to require some serious forethought - and probably involvement of my academic liaison.

    It is a tangled mess -
  14. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Ugg. Tread carefully, but take care of your husband. What a crazy mess.
  15. Wishing

    Wishing New Member

    gg- The guy sounds really dumb. Just a thought once I was seeing a specialist in infertility and after some time(i'm an RN) I went to a luncheon of RN's and a former colleague came up to me and said the infertility specialist who I was seeing was someone she did not like and worked with him in surgery. She said ",I don't like his sterile technique." I went to him and told him I was no longer going to see him bc a friend told me he had poor sterile technique. He was extremely angry and said he would never help me again and I said "fine and goodbye."
    I was very happy to sever my relationship with someone who could have caused a massive infection on me.
    I hope you find someone who is more helpful to your husband and THANK GOD you found this out now and maybe he is not treating husband properly. It would be good if you could find out how This psychiatrist does with his ECT on his other patients from nurses who watch his technique vs how other doctors do it. Just a thought. People who are good usually have a plan and also they tend to have most of the patients on the ward and word gets around they are good and get most of the referrals. If he is a well known excellent psychiatrist then I think he may have a problem or be developing one.
  16. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I know you have a lot invested in your academics. But you also have a lot invested in your spouse. I don't know the best answer, but I do know that this psychiatrist is seriously majorly disturbed.

    You MUST take care of your spouse as you think best, but I would STONGLY suggest consulting an attorney to help you figure out what you want to do.

    ANY psychiatrist who brings info that the "holy spirit" gave him into a therapy session of the type your husband was in, and then accuses him of this type of thing (esp when you can document that no such activity occurred) is a LUNATIC and guilty of grave malpractice. It is almost like he WANTS to drive your husband into suicide.

    I would insist the psychiatric hospital keep your husband there, on THEIR DIME, until your husband is stable. Because tehre is NO WAY your husband can handle these accusations outpatient, esp in such an already damaged state.

    Many hugs, this will be so difficult no matter what you do.
  17. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Can you meet with the therapist and discuss how this has seriously harmed husband's treatment plan. Ask therapist for input on how to handle this.

    This is really a whacky knotted mess.

    Also, have you confronted the psychiatrist yet and asked why in the world would he behave in that way.

    I am almost feeling that he read someone else's chart and was addressing the wrong person. He obiviously didn't have his facts straight.
  18. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Wow. gg I think psychiatrist is more than a few short of dealing with a full deck himself....if you catch my meaning. I wonder......could psychiatrist be some of the reason behind husband's instability?

    Tread carefully, but I'd be finding a new psychiatrist, and fast. If old one needs a reason....just say that obviously what he was doing wasn't working and time to try a doctor with new ideas.

    Weird. Unprofessional. Sort of downright scary when you think this man is treating people who are already psychologically fragile at best.

    Still praying hard for you and husband.

  19. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I'm sort of just scratching my head. I never heard of anything so incredibly strange.
    It doesn't make any sense.
    I'd definitely have a private conversation with the administrator and find a new psychiatrist. I wouldn't mention it to any of the staff. Just speak to the administrator so they can help you switch physicians.
    Very strange.
  20. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    GG - what a horrible situation. I've had psychiatrists screw up Kanga's history before but never to that extent. And to level accusations at an unstable person? WTH? I'd see if the therapist and your academic liason will go with you to the powers that be to get this settled.

    How awful,