Hypersexuality, Anyone? Help!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by totoro, Jan 19, 2010.

  1. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    K has had this "issue" for a long time now. But it has hit a knew level of intensity. :surprise:
    For the past couple of months she has gotten worse with her touching of herself in front of people.So far I think it is mostly in front of us and G-parents.

    She is full on masturbating, hands on her breast constantly down her pants.
    She is completely unaware half the time that she is doing this.

    We have been open about our bodies since day one. We have talked about touching our bodies.
    Not in front of people, fine in your room, the bathroom, in PRIVATE. As long as you treat your body nicely and don't ever hurt your self it is OK.
    She has the American Girls Body Book.
    She has not let me sit and read it with her yet but she has read it and understand it.

    I am trying not to get frustrated and PO'd. But I am sick of her doing it in front of N. husband hates walking in and seeing it.
    She grinds on everything.


    therapist feels we need to keep adjusting her medications, which we agree with. Her Lamictal is still in need of adjusting.
    We talk and she says she can't help it, we talk, we talk we talk...
    I feel bad because I want her to be comfortable with her body but can't take this!!!
    :whiteflag: Help

    Oh we talked with her Teacher and have set up a plan with her and the School Nurse if it starts in the School. So far they have not noticed anything...
  2. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    Have you tried, just bringing it to her attention with a code word. Something like say....um K....apples. That would be her trigger that she has to stop, or go into her room for privacy?
  3. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Right now I tap her. Or I just say her name. It isn't that she doesn't register once we say her name or tap her it is that she just starts right back up the minute she is any where in the house. She doesn't think about going in her room. She doesn't "think" about it, once we snap her out of it she is done for the moment until she starts back up! LOL
    Or she takes her hand out of her pants or off of her breast and then 5 minutes later she is grinding on the arm of the couch!

    I also give her things to keep her hands busy. Doesn't last very long.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This is just one of those icky things isnt it?

    You dont want to give them a sexual hang up but DANG IT ALL, we dont want to watch this either...lmao.

    For what its worth, this is the thing that pushed us over the edge with Cory. We just couldnt take the all out hypersexuality anymore. When I found him sitting at my kitchen table, with his pants down around his thighs, reading an email I wrote to someone (a sexually explicit email story email) and pleasuring himself...OMG...oh no he didnt...lmao. That was the straw that broke my back. For me it was twofold. Not only was he doing THAT, but he broke into my email...lmao. To do THAT!

    He still cant stand to talk about that whole story.

    We used to attempt to redirect him when he was younger and he was watching TV because inevitably his hand would be down his drawers. We would make him stop or send him out of the room. We tried to keep him in pants that would make it harder to do that sort of behavior. Jeans with a belt on and such.

    Jamie is having the same problem with Hailie now. She walks around the house naked constantly and does the same thing. Or if she has on her pj's her hand is constantly down her pants. Down her diaper. I pointed it out to Tony and when Jamie said something, Tony told him he really needed to keep an eye out because with all her other symptoms it was a red flag.

    I think you are doing what you can, remove her, maybe be a bit more forceful. She is getting a bit older and it will get more uncomfortable for you. She really does need to know and understand that this is a completely private thing. Not for public viewing. If she needs stimulation of her body outside of that sort of thing she should find another sort of thing to do, maybe something else that would be active with her hands...lol.
  5. jcox

    jcox New Member

    Hypersexuality is very common in children with Bipolar Disorder. From talking with other parents who have children with BiPolar (BP) it almost seems to go hand and hand. Just wanted to let you know it is related if you did not already know.
  6. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Toto, hypersexuality is a hallmark symptom of bipolar disorder. It's part of the illness. When K says she can't help it, I think she's right. It's akin to a manic spending spree or pressured speech or staying up all night cleaning the house. And I think you have to treat the hypersexual illness the way you would any other manic illness -- with medications first and foremost.

    Hang in there.
  7. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    No more advice, just a knowing hug.

    Wee's hands used to flap when he was excited about something, now they go to his crotch and he looks like he's trying to start a fire. Guess knowing he no longer wants to cut it off helps me deal with it a bit.
  8. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I know it is a SX of the BiPolar (BP)... believe me. I had to deal with my own issues which is why it freaks me out even more. I was pregnant at 13. I have had to live with and come to terms with my actions from my own Hyper-Sexuality.
    Once I hit puberty and even prior to that NOONE could stop me.
    therapist thinks she is showing signs of puberty and we have to be very cautious right now. We have a psychiatrist apt today, this will be topic number 1!
    I have had so many problems because of this as did my Mom, this is partly why she committed suicide.
    My Mom and I were both early blossomers so to speak.

    I just want her to understand any of it if she is at all capable, which right now she is showing no signs of. She can't even understand how to have a friend and she is at this stage...

    Big Sigh
  9. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Shari your description made me laugh!!! I guess at least a lot of us are in the same boat.

    K can be sitting there watching "My Little Ponies" and yep hands down the pants!
  10. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Hey, glad to help.

    Just think Les Stroud or Bear Grylls next time she starts...maybe that way it at least won't be so annoying.