Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by christie76, Mar 27, 2013.

  1. christie76

    christie76 New Member

    New here and first post. I have a very angry 10 year old daughter. I don't want to get into all the details surrounding the root of her problems but to make a long story short. The divorce of me and her father and her fathers suicide has added fuel to the fire. She is disrespectful, violent, rude, curses and is destructive. The kicker is outside of the home such as School, Church or at a place where she is not in her comfort zone these things do not happen. I have had her on several different medications and they just caused more problems. Spend a ton of money in co pays for counseling visits. My big fear right now is due to her being so impulsive I am afraid she is going to kill us in an auto accident as she will attack me when driving when told NO to a request.

    I am considering hypnosis and has anyone ever tried this route or considered it before?
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    The root of the problems is going to be key in finding solutions...
    Can you tell us more?

    Meanwhile - haven't tried hypnosis. Have tried some alternative-medicine stuff, without success. Have tried diet - mixed success.
  3. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    Does she have a diagnosis of anything? My son is the same way. His teachers think he's the best thing since sliced bread, and then he comes home to me and is rude, disrespectful, and just downright mean. It's incredibly frustrating, so I understand what you're going through.

    If the medications that she's on made things worse they were not the right medications for her for any variety of reasons. Through trial and error We found that the SSRI class of medications make my son more aggressive than he already is, so we steer clear of those. What medications has she been on? Many of the moms here will tell you that finding the right medication and the right dose can take a long time.
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    There is a parent here whose young adult son started using hypnosis. I won't talk for her but I'll bring this to her attention.

    Welcome, I can relate. We are using a service dog in the car and it's been a miracle. No more pulling over when being hit from behind. Very few verbal issues even!
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    If hypnosis helped mental illness, it wouldn't exist anymore.

    Her father's suicide is huge and profound and kids who have a parent who commits suicide has something a 10X greater chance of someday doing the same thing themselves. I wouldn't make light of this or try to take care of it yourself. You need professionals, such as a psychiatrist (the big guy with the MD). This is not something you can set aside or the consequences could be dire.

    Gentle hugs and I hope you take our advice. Get her intensive help.
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Well, true, I doubt it would cure mental illness but just as many tools used in therapy, it can be a very useful piece of the puzzle. Can help ease anxieties, and work through situations that are significant in a persons life.
  7. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Just a thought about the car situation; don't discuss things in the car. Have car rules like we get in, put seat belts on, put music on, anything to talk about will be discussed after we get out if the car. Any questions about where we are going will be discussed before we get in the car. If you don't think you'll get attacked with them maybe a notepad and pen that she can write down questions or topics so she feels heard and can remember them later. Maybe a toy just for the car? Again only if you think it won't be used as a weapon.

    She sounds like she has a world of hurt to deal with. Hope you've got some good professionals working with her.

    Also wanted to say welcome.
  8. christie76

    christie76 New Member

    The hypnosis I want to try in conjunction with continued therapy. I know it is not a cure all but hoping it will help. Her father and I had a very stormy marriage. Nothing but fighting. When she was 6 I decided enough was enough and moved out. My daughter now blames me for divorcing her father, his death and basically anything that goes wrong. She had problems before his death but they have gotten worse. The attacking in the car happens if she ask for McDonalds and I say we will have dinner at home. She flips at the drop of a hat. I was on the verge of getting engaged recently however, due to her behavior, my boyfriend and I had to put things on hold. We have tried Celexa, Zoloft, Abilify (Made her gain a lot of weight fast) and a different medication used off label (A seizure medication.) We saw a psychiatrist but all he did was visit with her for 5 minutes and write prescriptions. Also, I cannot get her to take medicine anymore. Short of holding her down (She is very strong) and shoving the pill down her throat. I wake up dreading getting her up for school. She starts calling me a *****, telling me to rot in hell. Her seat on the bus is not even cool before she starts on me about something. No firm diagnosis. Being told ODD, Possibly Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) (Family History) Possibly Bi-polar (Again, family history) but nothing concrete. Her school is looking at possibly ADHD due to her struggles in school but NO behavior problems. I'm tired, depressed and losing my mind.
  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    What kind of problems did she have when she was small - newborn, infant, toddler... ?
    Often those patterns provide clues.
  10. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Have you ever had her evaluated by a neuropsychologist.? They are specially trained to connect how the brain works with behavior. They, in my humble opinion, tend to be more able to do a differential diagnosis including consideration of developmental conditions, neurological, psychiatric/psychological.

    She may have something else going on along with the emotional issues she has home thru.

    Falling apart when told no and having things not go as the child planned it out in their mind is common for kids who are wired differently.

    Also, food issues are especially a trigger for my son... Of you can relate, I always have a snack for him when we transition. Always something in my car.

    Have you ever read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene? That may give you some helpful non traditional ideas. Many of us have found that kind of method helpful.