I’m About To Throw My 18-year Old Out...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Tiredmomof2018, Feb 3, 2018.

  1. Tiredmomof2018

    Tiredmomof2018 New Member

    My son was such a sweet kid, and at 16, everything went to Hell in a hand basket.

    He first stole when he was 10. He stole $100 from my father’s wallet when he was over there visiting. Then, he graduated to credit cards. Yet, my parents never told me about the theft. There were never any consequences when he was there. He stole my father’s AMEX card more than a few times, and the last time he did it, he racked up $800 in two days.

    In June, a few months after he turned 18, he decided he didn’t want to follow my rules, and moved out. He lasted 4 months before I got a call from jail, saying that he and a friend had broken into a car, and stole some man’s credit card - and racked up $1,000 in just a few hours. They let him out on a PR bond, and I picked him up. We had to put his life together fast for the grand jury. Of course, like always, the changes were temporary. He didn’t steal, but he was lying, sneaking out, drinking, and smoking pot. While the case is still going on! Then, I took his phone, and told him I’d give it back when he got a job. Nope. No job.

    The final straw was this morning. He stole money out of my car when I told him to get groceries out of the car, AND he stole his younger sister’s tablet. I’m calling the cops, and throwing him out today.
     
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  2. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome Tiredmomof2018. I'm sorry you're struggling with your son's choices and behaviors. Theft is often a deal breaker with our troubled kids.

    If that is an actual photo of you as your avatar, you may want to change it. Remember this is an anonymous site to protect you and your family.

    Often it is substance abuse which ushers in the kind of theft you're referring to. If that is the case, you may want to connect with Al Anon, Narc Anon or Families Anonymous. Many parents here find solace in the 12 step groups.

    A good book many of us have read is Codependent no more, by Melodie Beattie.

    If your son has mental health issues, NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness has excellent courses for parents which will offer you resources, support, guidance and information. You can access them online.

    You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here....it's helpful.

    It's a challenging path for us parents when our kids go off the rails, for whatever reason. I'd encourage you to keep posting, it helps to write our stories down and receive acknowledgement and support.

    Hang in there, this is hard stuff. You're not alone.
     
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  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I am sorry for this too and also think his behavior sounds drug related, far beyond pot. We are the last to know what they use. My daughter was on cocaine and meth and we never guessed it was more than pot plus until she quit and fessed up.
     
  4. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    I am very sorry to hear about what you're dealing with. Many of us have been in similar places with our difficult children. You are among friends. Please be sure to protect your confidentiality by changing your profile photo.

    It sounds like you already have a plan of action, which is great.

    Is his dad in the picture?
     
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