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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 744663" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Swot. I did not have boyfriends when my son was a child. He could depend upon me completely, except for the demands of my profession. </p><p></p><p>The point I wanted to stress to this dad is that he has to go forward. Falling on his sword only makes things worse. He has to deal with what is and what makes it better.</p><p></p><p>When your kids were abused by the adopted child you faced it, dealt with it, engaged with every resource you could to help your kids and family and yourselves to mend. And mend, everybody did. </p><p></p><p>It is not necessarily what happens that is formative, but the response. How you deal with it. </p><p></p><p>Or course this young man is suffering. Every parent here has suffering kids. Every parent here could have done better. But guilt does nothing except crippling us. We have choices now. Past choices are in the past.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 744663, member: 18958"] Swot. I did not have boyfriends when my son was a child. He could depend upon me completely, except for the demands of my profession. The point I wanted to stress to this dad is that he has to go forward. Falling on his sword only makes things worse. He has to deal with what is and what makes it better. When your kids were abused by the adopted child you faced it, dealt with it, engaged with every resource you could to help your kids and family and yourselves to mend. And mend, everybody did. It is not necessarily what happens that is formative, but the response. How you deal with it. Or course this young man is suffering. Every parent here has suffering kids. Every parent here could have done better. But guilt does nothing except crippling us. We have choices now. Past choices are in the past. [/QUOTE]
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