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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 757645" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Mitch,</p><p>Welcome to this site. Stay with us and read other posts. There is so much wisdom to be gained here. We all come here broken and hurting. We feel like no one can understand what we're going through but the people here can. Just knowing others have survived and are surviving these difficulties relieves a little of the burden. When you don't feel alone in a problem and it is brought out in the open, I feel personally, that's the beginning of healing. </p><p></p><p>My youngest son who is 27 joined the Marine Corp. , graduated boot camp and then wanted out. He got out on a "medical" discharge too. Since then, which was 9 yrs. ago now, he has occasionally had a job, and for the last three years since our family broke up after divorce, he has lived in his car. In the beginning, as a "professional enabler" which comes from living with an addict, I supported him financially to the tune of thousands and thousands of dollars. Cars, gas, food, hotels. You name it.</p><p></p><p>There is no easy way out of this but the most important thing is for you to find the support you need to find healing for yourself. If you are broken you will not be strong enough to stand up to the begging, pleading and unkept promises that will happen over and over again. We become like a human emotional punching bags. After a while that gets old.</p><p></p><p>You've got to want a better life for yourself as much as you want that for your son. It feels selfish at first because as Moms we always put our children first. But there comes a time that we have to push through that feeling and take care of ourselves. You are doing no one any good by getting sick with anxiety and worry. I'm not saying I'm "healed" but I'm better and by the grace of God I know there's a better way for me as well as my son.</p><p></p><p>Someone on here put it nicely one time to me and they said "you can't care you son into changing". Those real long lasting changes will have to come from him.</p><p></p><p>Keep with us and hang in there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 757645, member: 23405"] Mitch, Welcome to this site. Stay with us and read other posts. There is so much wisdom to be gained here. We all come here broken and hurting. We feel like no one can understand what we're going through but the people here can. Just knowing others have survived and are surviving these difficulties relieves a little of the burden. When you don't feel alone in a problem and it is brought out in the open, I feel personally, that's the beginning of healing. My youngest son who is 27 joined the Marine Corp. , graduated boot camp and then wanted out. He got out on a "medical" discharge too. Since then, which was 9 yrs. ago now, he has occasionally had a job, and for the last three years since our family broke up after divorce, he has lived in his car. In the beginning, as a "professional enabler" which comes from living with an addict, I supported him financially to the tune of thousands and thousands of dollars. Cars, gas, food, hotels. You name it. There is no easy way out of this but the most important thing is for you to find the support you need to find healing for yourself. If you are broken you will not be strong enough to stand up to the begging, pleading and unkept promises that will happen over and over again. We become like a human emotional punching bags. After a while that gets old. You've got to want a better life for yourself as much as you want that for your son. It feels selfish at first because as Moms we always put our children first. But there comes a time that we have to push through that feeling and take care of ourselves. You are doing no one any good by getting sick with anxiety and worry. I'm not saying I'm "healed" but I'm better and by the grace of God I know there's a better way for me as well as my son. Someone on here put it nicely one time to me and they said "you can't care you son into changing". Those real long lasting changes will have to come from him. Keep with us and hang in there. [/QUOTE]
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