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I’m new and lost.
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<blockquote data-quote="AnotherMom58" data-source="post: 757662" data-attributes="member: 25418"><p>Welcome abroad. I’m pretty new here myself, and I found a lot of wisdom in this group.</p><p>The basic problem in our situation is that doing the right thing goes against our maternal instincts. We want, naturally, to make things easier for our children - to enable them- but that’s exactly what should not be done in situations like this. You are not a bad mother. You’re just living through a very difficult situation. </p><p>My son joined the army out of high school, got injured overseas, was medically discharged and then became addicted to heroin. I used to give him and his girlfriend a lot of money. Because I wanted to protect him. It was only much later that it occurred to me that I was making it much easier for him to afford drugs, and that’s when I stopped giving them money. I felt like the worst mother in the planet, but now , I find a lot of comfort in that decision. My hard earned money will not be used to hurt my son by feeding his addiction. This clarity comes with time. I hope it will get easier for you too. (Not easy, mind you - nothing about this is easy - but easier). Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnotherMom58, post: 757662, member: 25418"] Welcome abroad. I’m pretty new here myself, and I found a lot of wisdom in this group. The basic problem in our situation is that doing the right thing goes against our maternal instincts. We want, naturally, to make things easier for our children - to enable them- but that’s exactly what should not be done in situations like this. You are not a bad mother. You’re just living through a very difficult situation. My son joined the army out of high school, got injured overseas, was medically discharged and then became addicted to heroin. I used to give him and his girlfriend a lot of money. Because I wanted to protect him. It was only much later that it occurred to me that I was making it much easier for him to afford drugs, and that’s when I stopped giving them money. I felt like the worst mother in the planet, but now , I find a lot of comfort in that decision. My hard earned money will not be used to hurt my son by feeding his addiction. This clarity comes with time. I hope it will get easier for you too. (Not easy, mind you - nothing about this is easy - but easier). Take care. [/QUOTE]
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