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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 757704" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Welcome</p><p></p><p>I have to pitch in and say that I bet that when you and your husband gave him that deadline, you would have been open to him coming to you and saying that he had a plan on how to turn this all around. By him just ignoring it, it would make me madder now that I have been there and know how manipulative my son was and can be. It's like he didn't care about us at all. It was so shocking for me to face that fact but when I did I got mad. I got real mad and that is when I was able to better protect my heart. </p><p></p><p>I think you have to stand your ground with him or else you will be like the boy who cried wolf and that would be the worst thing you could do. They say to be very careful with your threats because you MUST follow through no matter what.</p><p></p><p>Your son is young and struggling to find himself perhaps, but he isn't THAT young. Like my son, when they continue to make BAD decisions it's not our JOB to fix it or to fix them. I'm sure you and your husband set good examples for your son while he was growing up and he may just be plain spoiled, like my son. I begged my son to stop the madness more than once. Begged.</p><p></p><p>However I think the root of my son's issues were his anxiety and the fact that addiction runs in our family (like most families). But no matter what, he has to learn how to deal with it just like we all have to deal with what life throws at us. For many of us we have been through the mill before even having to deal with our adult boys that behave like spoiled brats.</p><p></p><p>You have come to the right place. You will get great advice. Yes, it goes against every grain in your body having to deal with these off the rails adults but you have to get real tough real fast or they will run you down. I am still going at it 9 years later but it's much better.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and stay strong!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 757704, member: 15032"] Welcome I have to pitch in and say that I bet that when you and your husband gave him that deadline, you would have been open to him coming to you and saying that he had a plan on how to turn this all around. By him just ignoring it, it would make me madder now that I have been there and know how manipulative my son was and can be. It's like he didn't care about us at all. It was so shocking for me to face that fact but when I did I got mad. I got real mad and that is when I was able to better protect my heart. I think you have to stand your ground with him or else you will be like the boy who cried wolf and that would be the worst thing you could do. They say to be very careful with your threats because you MUST follow through no matter what. Your son is young and struggling to find himself perhaps, but he isn't THAT young. Like my son, when they continue to make BAD decisions it's not our JOB to fix it or to fix them. I'm sure you and your husband set good examples for your son while he was growing up and he may just be plain spoiled, like my son. I begged my son to stop the madness more than once. Begged. However I think the root of my son's issues were his anxiety and the fact that addiction runs in our family (like most families). But no matter what, he has to learn how to deal with it just like we all have to deal with what life throws at us. For many of us we have been through the mill before even having to deal with our adult boys that behave like spoiled brats. You have come to the right place. You will get great advice. Yes, it goes against every grain in your body having to deal with these off the rails adults but you have to get real tough real fast or they will run you down. I am still going at it 9 years later but it's much better. Hugs and stay strong! [/QUOTE]
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