I agree Copa. Hopefully the kids will understand the adjustments that are necessary and be able to cope once the dust has settled and reality sets in.It sounds like however painful and stressful this is the very best outcome that could have been expected.
I will be busy getting the necessary requirements in order to become fully licensed, the rest is really up to the family and their ability to understand what happened and make changes. I am recalling when CPS was involved when they were so young and hubs and I were given temporary custody. We had to attend counseling sessions with all parties as well as provide for the kids needs on our own. It was difficult and pretty much blew our savings. At least this time I will have help. I am hoping that their parents and the other grandparents will understand that the kids being in limbo as far as legal custody was not a good thing for anybody, most of all the kids. Now they can get the medical and emotional support they need.That these kids be helped to have the confidence that they can and will sustain these family relationships, that they not fear that by speaking up for their safety it has cost them love or continuity, is so, so important.
He was released the next day, much to his disappointment as he was enjoying the extra attention and liked the hospital food!? I think part of that is being in a calmer environment. My granddaughter helped me make dinner last night and I asked her if she ever cooked before and she said “No Tutu, that house was too crowded.” That seems to be the standard answer with the kids. That is stressful enough, plus the uncertainty of how you will be treated must be nerve wracking.Is grandson out of the hospital and home?
He will have to be quiet for another month, which coincides with his ankle healing. We try to console him with the fact that if there were a time for this to happen, it is now when he is laid up already. Sister said “Tutu, good thing we were with you, they wouldn’t have taken him to the hospital.”That this happened at the beginning of the summer and not the end. So that there is time to settle in and heal.
I am happy for him too. He has handled all of this like a champ, big adjustment, focus switched back to rescue mode and kids in the house. When I apologized to him he said “Mom this is for the kids, at least their parents won’t be here.” He has insisted to give up his larger room for the two boys and take the smaller because it “makes sense”.And how great for son to have that intensive pre-college experience. I am happy for him. You will miss him.
Me too Copa, me too. They have had many challenges in their lives. I have a friend who went through similar circumstances and she is battling alcoholism. She said that it is almost impossible for her to relax after growing up with high stress, drama and chaos. I hope that through counseling the kids are able to let out the feelings they have stuffed down inside. I have told them everything that is going on, feeling that they have a right to know that they are under the States supervision and I am considered a temporary foster parent until I jump through the hoops and hopefully get the full license. This is a big adjustment for all of us and I explained to them that their well being would be monitored, so this is a time to work really hard at healing and living peaceably together. Can’t count on perfection, there will be moments and mistakes but we have to discuss and communicate.I feel sad for the kids.
Oh thank you so much Albie. That means a lot to me!You and Grands have been very much on all of our minds.
Right? The social worker is on to him. They have not been very open to my participation in the kids lives. We have had a very strained relationship as far as everything goes. He thinks he can loom and yell and control outcome. That’s pretty much what got the ball rolling. I hope he knows this.Nice of Grandfather to TEXT an apology wrapped in a "here's what's what" announcement. Sheesh. He sounds like a bit of an @$$.
I wish you all could too! I have much support from Hoku, who is moving out but will be nearby.Wish we could all fly out to HI and take some turns babysitting and lightening some of the load for you, dear Leafy.
Thank you 200. I shall need all of the luck and blessings available!I am reading all of this for the first time. New Leaf, you seem to have acted wisely. Good luck!
Definitely Beta. It is said that God doesn’t give you anything more than you can handle. I keep looking up and saying “I am not that strong, please help me!”Leafy, Just reading through your posts and the subsequent ones. So sorry for what you're going through. Very complex and scary situation. Saying a prayer for you. You need wisdom right now.
Thank you Tanya, we need all those prayers and good vibes for sure.Sending you love, positive vibes, prayers and well wishes as you traverse this new terrain.
In all of this, please make sure you are practicing self care.
Thank you Beta. I am glad I am able to help. Just praying for a peaceful solution for all.I grew up in a dysfunctional home that finally fell apart. My grandparents were a lifeline for me. I'm so glad you are present and willing to do what you are able to for these grandkids. I'll be looking for your updates.
I am happy for my son. He has been such a help through this whole process, but needs to make his own way.Happy to hear that a good plan is in place. So happy your son is on board yet moving on with his own adulthood experience.
It really is a miracle, Eliza, how everything unfolded. Now I wait for word from the caseworker.Wow! It's rare that we get such a positive outcome so quickly on here. I'm glad this all worked out and the grandkids are safe with you.
I am remembering I was a foster mother to my son before the adoption was finalized. It was a nothing-burger to apply and to qualify. Please have no worries about this. Child Protective Services is on your side in the sense that they share your same aim. They want a safe place with family for the kids to be, while this process works through.I will call my friend who has fostered kids and try to get a feel for the system.
According to the kids, yes 18 other people. Grandmother denied it. The kids had no reason to lie and counted out Aunties, Uncles and cousins a few times to me. I was shocked. The house is not huge. The work at hand for me is to make sure the kids are allowed to stay here. The timing is right as Hoku is moving out which provides more space. There will be a lot of shifting furniture and stuff but it will be a good opportunity to deep clean the house.New Leaf, didn't I read that there were 18 people in the other grandparents place? I don't think case workers would return a child to a home like that...unless it was huge and the children had appropriate space. I am doubting that is the case.
The kids mentioned to me that their favorite aunty wanted them to move in with her, because she knew what was going on. Even Tornado complained a few times that her kids were treated differently than the others. But, she and her boyfriend left them there. Drugs mattered more. Add that into the picture and it is an awful mix for a kid to deal with.How they were treated badly without respite because they did not have parents there to protect them. I don't have time to find that quote, but it horrifies me the predator/prey element. She felt like prey. And she had nobody there to protect her. And she saw her brothers targeted the same way, and she knew the how and why it was happening. That she was considered easy pickings for anybody that wanted to take a swipe at her, because nobody would step in
Resources are thin here as well. It is scary, but in this case so far, it has been a help to shine light on the issue that my grands have been abandoned by their parents. Only God knows what comes down the road.It's so unfortunate having to get protective services involved, but sometimes there's just no other choice. It's scary, though - at least for me - they don't have the best reputation where I live, resources are thin.