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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 763575" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>I'm so sorry. I can hear and feel your sorrow in your words.</p><p></p><p>There are times I've literally said to my husband "I'm not ok." One time, he said he doesn't want me to say that anymore. Hmm. I didn't care for that. We talked and he listened. Fortunately, he understood. Maybe your husband does too? I'm not sure you are giving him a chance? Each person handles these very emotional and difficult things differently. My husband can sometimes clam up. I find if I clam up...wow...simply NOT a good idea. And I have a boat load of autoimmune conditions that make me wonder about this topic....</p><p></p><p>I had the bizarre misfortune of thinking that confiding in a close friend was "safe." She seemed empathetic. BUt, as I've mentioned on this board ...she showed odd signs of jealousy and she revealed to me she liked it when I told her my troubles with my "special" child as it made her feel better. I didn't care for this AT ALL. So, of course, be careful who you share with.</p><p></p><p>A therapist is safe. And these 12 step programs are good. We didn't go to Families Anonymous long, but I HAD to go when our adult child did something so outrageous about a year ago that I was a total mess. My husband wasn't doing so well either. We truly appreciate their support and we took home wonderful helpful literature to read. If the meetings were closer, we would of continued to go. And are very grateful that we can go back if we ever want to. Good people, who totally understand. Nar Anon or another group like it might also be good. These folks totally "get it," are empathetic and offer helpful advice. There are a variety of these types of "Anonymous" groups.</p><p></p><p>Be sure to take care of yourself. Big time. And I do hope you can speak with your husband, and like mine, he will come around if he has a tendency to not be as supportive as you would like. It's important. (((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 763575, member: 4152"] I'm so sorry. I can hear and feel your sorrow in your words. There are times I've literally said to my husband "I'm not ok." One time, he said he doesn't want me to say that anymore. Hmm. I didn't care for that. We talked and he listened. Fortunately, he understood. Maybe your husband does too? I'm not sure you are giving him a chance? Each person handles these very emotional and difficult things differently. My husband can sometimes clam up. I find if I clam up...wow...simply NOT a good idea. And I have a boat load of autoimmune conditions that make me wonder about this topic.... I had the bizarre misfortune of thinking that confiding in a close friend was "safe." She seemed empathetic. BUt, as I've mentioned on this board ...she showed odd signs of jealousy and she revealed to me she liked it when I told her my troubles with my "special" child as it made her feel better. I didn't care for this AT ALL. So, of course, be careful who you share with. A therapist is safe. And these 12 step programs are good. We didn't go to Families Anonymous long, but I HAD to go when our adult child did something so outrageous about a year ago that I was a total mess. My husband wasn't doing so well either. We truly appreciate their support and we took home wonderful helpful literature to read. If the meetings were closer, we would of continued to go. And are very grateful that we can go back if we ever want to. Good people, who totally understand. Nar Anon or another group like it might also be good. These folks totally "get it," are empathetic and offer helpful advice. There are a variety of these types of "Anonymous" groups. Be sure to take care of yourself. Big time. And I do hope you can speak with your husband, and like mine, he will come around if he has a tendency to not be as supportive as you would like. It's important. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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