I am a lost parent!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by jessica_1, Feb 27, 2012.

  1. jessica_1

    jessica_1 New Member

    My son is getting ready to turn 7 and in the first grade. Kindergarten was very rough for him, the teacher, myself, and the office staff. He would knock over tables and chairs, hide in the bathroom - threatening to never come out, throw things, ran away from teacher at field trip, spitting on other children, fighting, on and on.... First grade has been ROUGHER for him, the teacher, myself, the office staff, the lunch room assistants, the bus driver, okay so - All Faculity AND Children. Last Thursday I get a call that he was throwing metal folding chairs into the middle of the gym floor out of anger. The entire gym with students had to be evacuated. Today, two school days later, I get another call. He has pushed another child out of a lunch room set, threatened to run into the parking lot, threw baskets, threw crayons and pencils at students, jumped back and forth on top of tables, ran from the principle after kicking and punching her. And it's only Monday!!

    I have done time out, excercises, taken toys and privilages, special rewards for good behavior (not focusing on the negative), two years of family and individual therapy, yelled, cried while pleading with him to please make good choices, threatened that Santa would not show up, soap in the mouth, grounded him to room, taken away sport activities ... and I am still here writing this note!

    I recently had him evaluated (single mom with no money takes a long time for anyone to see us) and the main results are the following:

    - ADHD
    - Mood Disorder
    - Reading Disability
    - IQ 121
    - Visually Gifted

    Now what? I have an appointment with peditrican to start medications. What kind? Which do I treat first, ADHD or Mood Disorder? And what kind of Mood Disorder? What kid of Learning Disability? How do I know if it is working or hurting him? What if he doesn't improve? What choice do I have if my six year old son is kicked out of a public school? Are these all signs of LARGER problems to come as a teenager and even worse in his adult life? Where do learn about ADHD and mood disorder? (Internet is very contradictive from each piece of information to the next.) How do I select a good therapist for him? Should I change schools?

    I just don't understand my child. He has such a great sense of humor, so kind to animals, sweet and generous to his younger cousins and family members, helpful and respectful at home, very intellegent. I am a very laid back, easy going, nothing is HUGE, don't get angry, easy to get along with. My personality is nothing like his. I don't understand him so how can I possibly help him? He is my ENTIRE world. I write this as tears overwhelm my face as they fall. If I feel this way, how does he feel on the inside? He tells me the kids don't like him because he is mean. He wants to go away somewhere because he is dangerous. He hates his hands. It just breaks my heart. He is six years old and should be digging in dirt to find a hidden treasure. Instead, he is concerned about being dangerous and mean. How do I help him? I know this is so very long and I have never done anything like this before ... I am at my end and for the first time in two years, I feel like there is no where to turn to help my child. Is there even hope for him? I'm so very scared for him! Tomorrow will be different, I know this. I will wake up positive and hopeful for him as I do each morning. Enjoy our morning together and kiss him as he walks to the bus. By the time school releases at 3:45, I know I will have to call the school to check in. It is just to much for today and I am a lost parent!

    Thank you for listening!
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hi, Jessica. Just wanted to welcome you to the board.
  3. jessica_1

    jessica_1 New Member

    Thank you!
  4. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Hi hon. Was he tested for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), too? He sounds a lot like my daughter, right down to chair throwing. Grab a copy of The Explosive Child by Ross Greene, it's a good starter book for parents here.
    As to where to start, safety first. Make that your priority. Does he have an IEP? If not, request that in writing, by mail, return receipt requested. That puts the school on a timeline to get started on it.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hi Jessica, sounds like you have some hard news. As I read your post I have to wonder about the bigger picture here... I think you hinted at this too. So, I am sure I am not going to be the last one here to ask you a ton of questions. Not to be nosy but it can help those of us who are walking your walk or have been there before, to share more with you.

    So, first... who did the testing? Was this the schools or a neuropsychologist, a psychologist, a clinic or???? Have you had Occupational Therapist (OT), Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) or any other kinds of specialty testing???

    Not sure if I said this yet, due to the complexity proposed here... If it was me, I would not use a pediatrician to prescribe medications. I would find a good child psychiatrist. THey specialize in the risks, side effects and types of medications that can be used and this can be good or bad I realize...since they may think medications are the be all end all ...but if you interview them (mine feels the less medications the better and is happy to Difficult Child a medication if not working well).... you can get a sense of their philosophy. Some medications make certain conditions worse. Some have side effects that can cause aggression and your son does not need that heightened. I use a neurologist and a psychiatrist to help manage medications. Our pediatrician is a rock star and backs up both of them if something happens in our pharmacy or someone is not available and we need medications...they all talk to each other and back each other up.

    What kind of learning disability are they referring to? verbal, reading, math, writing, etc....

    You are SOOO right in that the traditional behavioral methods do not work well. Two books many of us like that may help will be The Explosive Child by Ross Greene and What Your Explosive Child is Trying to Tell You by Doug Riley (I always wonder if I am spelling his name right but you can google it and find it...also can search this site and will find lots of references to both of them)...there are a ton of other books but I will start you with those because they can offer immediate help.

    what kinds of testing did they do? What behaviors did they think were tied to adhd?

    How was his early development, language, speech, how does he communicate with kids his age. How does he play? Does he have imaginative play or more imitative play?

    what kind of mood problems does he have? If they are suggesting bi-polar disorder then you really need to be careful about management of the adhd symptoms. adhd can actually be symptomatic (not primary adhd) and based on the fact that the child has a mood regulatory issue, or a developmental challenge such as autism that can then cause a child to not be able to attend. Autism can look like a mood disorder because kids have a hard time taking on perspectives of others, they can be very rigid and have a lot of anxiety. Often they can look like they have obsessive and compulsive issues.

    Many of us have had to sort through diagnoses and still over time for many of us they shift and change to some degree (or completely for others).

    Have you had an occupational therapy evaluation done? how are his fine motor skills? How is he with sensory things... does he have any sensitivities or preferences when it comes to taste, smell, sounds, touch? Does he only eat certain foods? Does he have any allergies? Does he cover his ears when things are too overwhelming? Does he avoid some touch or seek touching things???

    Any family members with mood issues? any with autism?

    The degree of behavior you describe seems so over the top for a kid with primary adhd, but certainly there can be those situations and add to it whatever they are saying the mood disorder is... do they specify?

    OK finally, if this was not a school evaluation, time to get them moving. If you are in the USA, you can request an evaluation for an IEP/special education. Does not matter if he is not behind in school, his issues are interfering with a huge part of his school experience socially. If you have not had this started it requires a written request sent by certified mail so you get a receipt. That starts a time clock to get the evaluation done.

    So, that is not much to ask right? LOL

    Take your time and rest assured you have now met a group of people who get how hard this is. I wait for phone calls daily when my son is in school. We recently had a discussion about phone PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) because most of us have had to deal with negative phone calls (or texts or emails) due to our challenging kids!

    Sounds like your son is a wonderful kid but with some pretty intense challenges. There is a ton of hope and it takes a systematic walking through things along with (sorry to say this) a certain amount of trial and error.

    Once again, welcome to the CD family. I have found people here to be a life line. I hope you find the same.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi, Jessica. Sorry you had to come here, but welcome.

    Is he anything like his biological father/family? Even if he has never met him, bio. dad contributed 50% of his genes and genetics is huge. Anything up on either side of his genetic family tree? THese are clues as to what is possibly the problem with him.

    Does he have any siblings? What were his very early years like?
  7. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    First off, do NOT let a simple pediatrician prescribe or manage mental health medications. They have NO CLUE what they're doing. You need to find a Child Psychiatrist for that. Having a pediatrician do it is a disaster in the making.

    I agree that TODAY you need to write a letter to the school Principal as well as their Director of Special Education. Tell them you want him "THOROUGHLY evaluated for special education services including but not limited to academic, psychological, behavioral, Occupational Therapy, and Speech evaluations." Mail it Certified Mail with Return Receipt Requested. This puts them on a federal timeline to evaluate every aspect they can and come up with a plan to help your son in school instead of calling you all the time. It is called an IEP and you can look through the SpEd 101 archives here for more information. It also puts certain protections in there for him when he does have behaviors. Do they usually ask you to take him home when these things happen? If they do, it is called a suspension and by requesting an evaluation and getting an IEP in place it limits how many times they can do this and steps they HAVE to follow.

    If you can swing it, get the books HaoZi and Buddy recommended and also find an Occupational Therapist of your own to do a THOROUGH evaluation on him. You might be amazed. The school Occupational Therapist (OT) will only look at things that impact his education. An outside Occupational Therapist (OT) will look at everything that affects him everywhere.

    Welcome to our little corner of the world. Be easy on yourself. None of us really understood a lot of this stuff until it was dealt to us. You're doing GREAT if you're looking for ways to help him. THAT is going to help you both the most. Don't ever blame yourself for any of this. There is a LOT of hope for him. He's young yet so there is a lot than can be done to help him. We'll try to put you on the right road and help you stay on it and support you as you do it.

    {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} to you and your little guy.
  8. jessica_1

    jessica_1 New Member

    Good morning! Another optimistic morning, just ask predicted! I truly believe today will be a great one for my child.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have options now because of you. and things to set into place. 1. Cancel his pediatrician appointment. He was evaluated at a specific facility for children with disruptive behavior. I will write later with more details and answers to all questions. The team of docotrs are willing to work woth him there on medications, but dont take insurance so I went to pediatrician. If that is not the right choice, as you all srated, I will spend the money gladly! (Until I can find doctor I like.). TODAY I will start this IEP process. (After I find out exactly what it is and what I'm suppose to do.). I have never heard of and I am pretty furious his school would never tell me about it.

    Have to start our day now! Again, thank you all for the ray of hope and i will write later with answers to you all.

    Have a great day!
  9. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Sounds like your school is going to be one of those SDs. Check your DOE and other resources like ARC and get a free advocate for the IEP meeting, I have a feeling you'll need one. The advocate knows the legal ins and outs of IEPs and will help keep the SD from doing a number on your kid.
  10. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Good for you Jessica! May I make another suggestion since you are starting this journey??? Get a notebook and keep all papers, reports, etc. in a file. I write down notes at each dr appointment and make note of every phone call etc. If you communicate with the schools do so through email (except formal requests, do that by certified mail to the principal and special education coordinator for your school...some have only a Special Education. director for the whole district, just make sure you do it, even though it costs a little for the return receipt because that will prove your time line, they can't say well, we didn't know or we didn't get the request!)

    Do as much through writing as possible and what you can't do through writing, note in the notebook that you will now bring with you everywhere, smile.
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi Jessica,
    Just adding in my welcome! So glad you found us as you are know now you are not alone! I felt much the same way as you when my difficult child was your difficult child's age. This place is a true life saver and a place that inspires hope. (((hugs)))
  12. forkeeps251

    forkeeps251 Member

    I have to say, I find it sad how many schools are difficult to deal with! I was very fortunante with my sons school, all I had to do was say the word in an email and a school psychologist was being brought out to observe him. At their request, he is having a full Special Education evaluation (or has already had). I've been up there for ARD meetings probably half a dozen times, in fact I have one today. He was already receiving special services for speech (and thus already had an IEP), so maybe that helped things along?

    I mean, I know they all have budget etc, but since all this help is required by law you wouldn't think it would be that hard to get them to comply. Oh well :-(

    Also, what is up with kids and throwing chairs!?? My son has been in a lot of trouble for that. In fact in many ways your son sounds like mine. He was just diagnosed with ADHD and Anxiety disorder, but we are still going through they process of testing and therapy and getting him on medications. Hang in there, You aren't alone!
  13. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Good for you Jessica! As Forkeeps said, schools don't want to spend the money and therefore aren't about to tell you anything. In OUR case, the school just wanted difficult child 1 GONE.....and he HAD an IEP already.

    Write a letter to the school Principal as well as their Director of Special Education. Tell them you want him "THOROUGHLY evaluated for special education services including but not limited to academic, psychological, behavioral, Occupational Therapy, and Speech evaluations." Mail it Certified Mail with Return Receipt Requested.

    It's as easy as that. You CAN include your concerns about the various diagnoses he's got and their impact in school especially given the episodes of violence he's displayed there but you don't have to. That one initial sentence in writing sent the correct way opens the door.

    Way To Go Warrior Mom!!!
  14. jessica_1

    jessica_1 New Member

    I just can not put into words how excited I am for all the information you all have supplied to me. I don't feel so alone, hopeless, and lost today!

    Quick back ground check! My son and I have been on our own since he was a little over a year old. Dad was still in the picture for visitation (when it was conveinent for HIM) My son was placed in KinderCare Learning Center at the age of two so I could work. He did find here for the next three years. Never biting, hitting, disruptive, etc. He just kind of blended in with the rest and had friends. He was an excellent infant. No issues/concerns at ALL. He spoke on time, walked on time, etc. Everything was appropriate (per other parents, peditrician, and day care.) In May, before his Kindergarten year, I had to have back surgery. Which equalled no work, no money for day care, and him staying home with me until school started in Aug. In Sept. Dad moved to OK (we are in KY). In late Sept. his kindergarten teacher asked that I have him tested for ADHD. We both completed the written questions and I turned back in to our peditrician. Peditircian said it is to early and not enough consistance to his behavior to diagose him with ADHD. He didn't met all requirements at that time. We kind of blamed his issues on environment. New to school, dad leaving, mom having surgery, we moved into a new home that summer, etc. I began him in a school group counseling and the instructor said he was the best of all his kids. He used my son as an example on how to act for the other children. He was the first to complete tasks and built confidence in doing so. At the same time I started him with a one on one counselor at school. She reported she never saw his outburst of anger or ADHD symptoms. We also began outside family counseling. (I think it helped me more than my son.) We pushed through kindergarten. He then went to YMCA for the summer. He did okay. Some days he would be disruptive and throw a fit, but nothing to the max as throwing items or hurting other children. And not as frequent. We started first grade and things were amazing! His school office even called me to tell me that he was doing great and well improved from the last year. He was selected as a reward to be the office assistant for a day. I have had several meetings with the following school faculity all attending meeting: principal, assistant principal, school counselor, my sons individual counselor, myself, child advator, and teachers. Academiclly, he is okay. Teacher says he could be way more advanced if he would slow down, stay focused, and overcome redirection quickly instead of throwing a fit and holding onto his anger for a long period of time. Our family counselor finally said "I don't think I can help you anymore. I have shown you and you have exercised all the tools I have in my tool box." That was our last session about two months ago. His group counseling was only available for six weeks in kindergarten, that has ceased. His one on one has charged me incorrectly for the last three months ($800 a month fo 180 minutes of counseling) which I am finacially unable to pay. Therefore, that stopped three weeks ago. MIDWEST MOM - My son is an only child. While in my care I do not see the same behavior they express happens at school. He does throw fits that are not age appropriate. Going on six, he will fall out on floor, whins, and acts as a two year old. For YEARS I have said that his dad is bi-polar. Just my thought, never actually tested. My son has unbelievable anger over nothing. He will line up Hot Wheel cars and if the cat runs thru and knocks them out of place...watch out! He is instantly MAD and seeing red! He does not hit me and I can make him do as told. I have no other children to compare to. So I am kind of walking thru this blind. BUDDY - I had him evaluated three weeks ago with a Behavioral-Developmental Pediatrician and a Clinical Phsychologist. His learning disability was said to be reading. He is at a beginner first grade level. They said that his Visual was "off the charts" He can see and memorize just about anything. That is why he does well in spelling, he is memorizing the words, not using phonics. The doctor told me to google "Visually Giifted Children" They said he was ADHD due to his impulsive behaviors ... attempting to pull the school fire alarm! HAOZI - I suggested Sensory Disorder to these doctors who performed the evaluation along with Autism. They both said no, my son did not show signs of either one. The mood disorder ... that is all that was said. They did not label is "depression", "bi-polar", etc. I am suppose to wait to receive a written report of their results, I called today and they said it would be late next week.

    Today, my child has to spend the whole day in the principals office. I have to believe, with all that I am, that he does not want to live like this. I keep promising him that I will try my hardest to make life wonderful and enjoyable for him. He gets in the car in the afternoon and will tell me "The other kids hate me because I am mean." He always blames other people for his actions. (Is this just a six year old trait?) He has said to me before "I want to cut off my hands. They make me do bad things."

    Considering that I have had several meetings with all faculity at one time at the school...is this the IEP? If the school can evaluate, why did I just spend $1200.00 for an outside evaluatation? The school seems to be very helpful, but maybe it is just because I don't know any different. What is an SD school?

    This evening I plan to purchase The Explosive Child and What The Explosive Child Is Trying To Tell You. I am actually excited! Each new day I believe is that start to a better life for my child. I have to hold on to that or we will both lose this battle. Losing is not an option for me when it comes to him! Not an option!

    Again, thank you for ALL the information.
  15. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome! Your son sounds like school is the main trigger. I suggest finding a word that the teacher or adult present can start to you that will help your son calm. Use it at home as well. He has to work on recognizing when he is getting angry and this word will help tune in to his anger.

    If this does not seem to work, I would consider that he might even be having seizures when he is this angry. Another route to consider.
  16. buddy

    buddy New Member

    No, you sound like you have a really good staff in terms of care and involvement but an IEP is an Individualized Education Program and it is a mandated plan for special education if a child qualifies under certain federal disability areas. Some schools are really good at working with kids with special needs regardless of being in special education. The problem is...and I am just going to say this and HOPE that you will NOT have to travel this road...but you can always get off if things dont go this way... (many people have to fight for years and are not given ALL of the help they need). So what happens with a child like yours who does really well following adult directions especially when young and things are put at his level, who has these "gifts" in areas and kind of dont fit into any category perfectly.... they often do ok at the beginning and year after year as social demands increase, more need for independent work increases, more corrections (most things are wonderful no matter how they do in grade K and even grade one right??)... then they start to show their limits. Frustrations mount and kids get labeled as behavior challenges when really there are these underlying issues that are driving them to distraction (or over attention in some situations).

    Special Education costs money, it is mandated and they must follow certain rules and you have rights and responsibilities too.

    Yes, the schools also do free evaluations and many are wonderful. Some, especially for kids who are not so obvious as to their needs or who have complex needs, can be not complete enough so getting the private data is good for you to have to back up what you are saying. The school mandate is clear... the disability must affect their school performance. So, even if a child has CP for example, they would not necessarily have an IEP unless there is some reason they were impaired enough to not be able to do what the other kids in school could do including interaction with others, getting around the building, learning in ways the gen. ed. kids were learning etc. In the medical arena, the testing can lead to private therapies which can focus on any developmental challenges. As long as they fell within a certain score that insurance says qualifies them (or if you are willing to pay). So both have limits and both have benefits.

    I do both for my son, have since he was little. I am a school speech pathologist and have always encouraged people to have outside therapy if their child had any significant developmental issue.... in school we tie it to more current school academic and social goals where in the medical community they can focus more on some of the underlying issues. Does that make sense? It can be TOTALLY frustrating.

    This is just an impression from what you are writing... I imagine your son like many students I have had so I am clearly biased and could be WAY off the mark so really just take this for what it is worth...

    When you talk about lining up cars, having them disrupted leading to a fit....that is a story TONS of us with kids with autism can tell. Some kids call them parking lots. Some kids line up little plastic animals, or other figures...some like trains. some like airplanes. Does your son have an area of interest he is especially focused on?? That he notices everywhere or maybe can't miss a tv show about?? You also mentioned the visual strengths and a large group of people with autism are VERY visual, and indeed many autism teaching methods focus on using low verbal and high visual input. My son saw his first Nascar race when about 7 or 8 and he memorized every number and name the first race. He sees words and signs and his brain captures the information. Does this abiity help him in school?... only if the teachers use this as a teaching tool, so in general...not so much. But for some kids it can be a great tool to help them learn. The adhd stuff, well many teachers I work with, especially those who also have Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids of their own say that they think adhd should be added as a possible symptom of autism because these kids for multiple reasons (not always the same as primary adhd kids) have trouble with hyperactivity, attention, aggression, and also they may show symptoms that match ODD and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

    You also mentioned the sensory things... huge red flag. even if no autism, those kinds of symptoms are really debilitating for some kids and they can be more intense at different times in their lives.

    When you say he has friends, does he do back and forth imaginative play with them? Or is it more playing side by side with shared toys.... or doing the same kinds of scripts over and over? That would be a clue but again...no one symptom has to be there or not be there. Does he do better with adults than kids?

    There is this whole group of kids who fall (for now, the criteria in the DSM are changing but the kids will still be there, sigh) into a category of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) (the medical word used for Autism Spectrum Disorder) which is Pervasive Developmental Disorder. When docs do the diagnosis for Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) they put them into a group... either autistic, Rett's syndrome, Asperger's Syndrome, etc... and the final category is Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified which means not otherwise specified...those are kids who have a little of this, a little of that, but dont really meet criteria to be fully called Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) (or Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)). In the schools the criteria is similar but the educational category is called Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and there are some different words used in the groups of characteristics that they have to show to qualify for programming. FOr some kids it is easier to be qualified as Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) in the schools and for some it is much harder... depends on the kid, the professionals, the school, the district and the state!--HOw is that for frustrating??? (really the same is often true for many sp ed. categories, just really hard to get services for some kids).

    That all said, when you say that his dad maybe had Bipolar, that could be a huge red flag for a mood disorder instead or too. THen again (stop my brain now please, sorry....) IT could be that your ex was also somewhere on the spectrum, in a mild/high functioning way and those are the symptoms you were having a hard time living with...

    People with autism who actually function fairly well in life still may have :
    black and white thinking
    rigid rules about what to do or not to do
    a hard time taking the perspective or feeling for another person (but not that it is NOT there, just may be less than most neuro typical people can do)
    a hard time with change in plans or routines
    they may go on and on about a subject even when people around are really not interested, they may not pick up the clues and may do this repeatedly when you see them.
    may not interpret tone of voice or facial expressions well, may have not great eye contact and may have a speaking manner that is not quite as full of inflection as others.
    BIG reactions to things that others would think are not such a big deal/ may totally miss out on reacting to things that people around them feel is a big deal. (and their opinions are THE opinions)
    Anxiety... a big issue

    Does any of that sound like your ex? Certainly not meant to be a symptom checklist, just some things in my experience that people will even say about themselves once they realize they have a child with autistic issues. And some of the things that pop into mind when I am around older teens and adults with autism-like or Asperger's issues.

    So, here is why I took the time to write this... MANY people are told NO WAY this kid is autistic (heck even my kid was once and he had already had the diagnosis since age 2!)....especially if they have some skills for interaction, have ok eye contact and can discuss some imaginative things (but people dont dig enough to see it may be more rote or scripted but they may also just do ok in that area). Many general professionals just do not understand or really embrace the whole "spectrum" concept of autism. And in some cases they are right to hold off. But in others, it may rob you of a chance for early intervention. IF they are unwilling to go there, then finding out the specific issues like you have... including sensory issues etc... still can be addressed. Knowing his learning style is visual then you can (with an IEP) have accommodations that specifically say that things need to be presented to him visually to help him learn and to work on his behaviors through visual means (often kids with these issues are TOLD thru verbal means to stop, and given a bunch of emphatic directions which just increases their level of disorganization and makes the behaviors worse).

    SD by the way...means school district.

    Do you have any autism specialty clinics where you could see if his insurance would pay for that specific evaluation? (there are protocols just to look at Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and that could help you sort this out since you have so many other pieces)

    OK clearly this is an area I am a little more comfortable with so again, to be clear I am not saying you ARE dealing with this... just presenting you with some of the issues and pit falls many people have faced in hopes that you can avoid years of heart ache if you ever do feel this is something to be investigated further.

    Many parents here have other experiences (I am hoping they will share with you their experiences with ADHD and some of the co-morbid conditions that might help you account for what is going on)....and I will leave it to them to bombard you as I just did (smile!) because if they have lived it they can help you understand more. Same for people who have kids with mood disorders.

    OK, I wrote a book, so I will stop. Good sites for Special Education. rules include

    writeslaw http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/child.find.index.htm

    PACER (this is based in MN but they do national outreach and there are many other states with organizations like this. the sp ed rules are FEDERALLY mandated so many are similar but states can interpret some and choose to have higher standards than the feds...just not LOWER standards) http://www.pacer.org/

    If you just google IEP or Individual Education Program and your state then you might find more resources. About.com has some good info too.

    HUGS and sorry I went on and on... LOL, maybe a little Asperger's in me??
  17. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I forgot that hit me too... not only seizures but the remote possibility of some other brain issue going on (and as others have mentioned there could be allergies or other things that you might have to puzzle through.)

    WHen there is such a change, even though you do have situations that could explain it... it is worth double checking. My son started showing issues and anger and head banging and was given medications starting at age 1.5 yrs. AT age 2.3 years he was found to have a large brain mass............ so you want to think it is rare, but worth making sure.
  18. jessica_1

    jessica_1 New Member

    If it was seizures, would there be more physical characteristics that resemble an epilteptic seizure? He doesn't seem to show any of those sysmptoms. This is something else I am going to research now. Thank you for the insight and I LOVE the idea of a key word for him. FANTASTIC idea. He had an issue with always holding himself and we elemenated that habit with using a key word for when he was doing it. This might actually work to quickly re-direct him. Or atleast allow him to beaware of his anger. Thank you!
  19. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Depends on the kind of seizure... there is also electrical activity that does not rise to the level of being called a "seizure" but depending on where the abnormal waves are and how often they are happening it could alter his mood suddenly. My son's simple seizures hit his temporal lobe areas and particularly an area in our brains (part of the limbic system) that affect moods. So he can suddenly just feel very angry. Many people with seizures will say that they have feelings before a seizure that are extreme anxiety or fear or anger.... some people only go that far. They remember everything, dont fall down or shake or any of the things we commonly associate with partial complex or generalized seizures.
    It is remote possibility, and probably not even the case, but just one of those things that you would hate to miss.
  20. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I suggest they're full of something I'm not allowed to say on this board. There are varying degrees of sensory issues and many names, and what you need is a really good neuropsychologist on your side doing the testing, and this is one of the tests you need done, because from what you've told us about him, he's got sensory issues. Might be mild ones compared to some, but present nonetheless, and I promise that to him, they're an issue.

    Also go for as much outside help as you can get - don't be afraid to go to child services yourself and tell them you need help and wrap-around services. Ask about respite care, too, so you can take care of yourself.

    You know what's available for Occupational Therapist (OT) services in my SD? 20 minutes a month. That's it. It's laughable. But I will fight the system to get her that 20 minutes a month and a doctor's office in town has been going 'round with her insurance company since December trying to make them cover some in-office Occupational Therapist (OT) for her (so far no luck, but at least they're fighting for her).