I am getting more and more upset over the buck situation

[DammitJanet]

more fighting between Tony and I. Seems he thinks I am just being too hard on Buck and it is my issue that I am letting everything he says get under my skin. Things like constantly talking about how Burger King does things and they are such a premier restaurant. Oh please! They are a fast food place that gets their food in by trucks in frozen patties and for heavens sake he wasnt even a cook, he cleaned the grills and floors at night! Oh but he goes on about how they had burgers made from chuck! Ummm...big deal...lol.

Then suddenly Tony looks on the top of the fridge for something he put up there about a month ago and needs the end of this week. He started yelling at me saying that I had moved it and had a fit one day a week ago and thrown a bunch of junk off the top of the fridge and lost his thing and he just knew I was going to do that and he told me then I had done it and I had better find it and blah blah blah. I told him I had NOT touched anything on top of the fridge at all. The night I was angry and went out to look on top of the fridge for something I stood on my tip toes and looked on the top at the front edge and didnt touch anything else because what I was looking for was a pack of lighters that I had seen previously was sitting right on the edge, I had no need to go throwing things around. However, several days later he did grab a bag of cereal that had been sitting up there for a few weeks and hand it to me to put away and I made mention to him that he needed to be careful of whatever it was his was worried about on top of the fridge. He said he was watching it. I said okay.

Now this morning he denied even removing the cereal from top of the fridge! Oh but in about 10 minutes after ranting at me about how I better find it today or else I was going to be in big trouble and all this stuff, he found it. Someone had moved it from the top of the fridge to the microwave. I think he did because the night he said something about it being on the top of the fridge, I told him I saw it on the top of the microwave and he swore it couldnt be there. Okay, I must be hallucinating. Of course, I probably put it there in his mind. Trust me I didnt. I dont touch the top of the fridge because there are fishing hooks up there and I am scared to death of fishing hooks.

Blah.

 

[HaoZi]

Hardee's uses Black Angus and brings lunch to your table. Does that make it fine dining?

 

[DDD]

It seems that Tony is taking baby steps toward realizing what a big mistake this invitation was...a bit too late. He was "on edge" before Buck arrived and now he is seeing some of the writing on the wall. I know it's not enough but there are some improvements in his perceptions. Maybe he is lashing out at you so he doesn't have to accept responsibility for his mess up?

When you had Buck make the call did you get the impression that he was actually reading? Really my gut is screaming that the man does not have the skills to read, write, mail forms etc. Did Tony agree to sit down and help him with his paperwork? Does Tony agree with the meal planning idea...and, again, do you think Buck will be able to read the list and grasp it? Should be interesting. Sigh.

Like everyone else in the family I'm really sorry you are in this position. I hope it can be kept peaceful with Tony because the end goal is for him to remember that the two of you are a team. Deflecting stress your way may be easier than guiding Buck out of the house...for Tony, that is. Hugs DDD

 

[Hound dog]

DDD is right, it does seem Tony is wising up. Now you have to be careful. Buck is proving him to be a fool for taking him in, and a man's pride is an enormous thing. He's going to lash out, you just want him lashing out at Buck and not you. Know what I mean?? Fred would do this when katie was here, both times, and I let it pretty much roll off my back if I saw he was "getting it".....or steered him to the real culprit with a smile on my face and a look of utter innocence.

I'm thinking his reading level is the same or lower than M's. His intelligence level (has nothing to do with manipulation skills by the way) is probably at the same level as well, obviously his motivation level is exactly the same.

I know it would hurt Cory to lose a couple of days work, but honestly, that would be a rather fast way for this to come to a head as Buck isn't going to be inclined to actually work and it will be right in Tony's face where he can't deny it. Not to mention other employees, not YOU, will be bringing Bucks many faults to light. If you guys can't get him up for paperwork.......do you really think he'll be up on time more than a single day to go to work with Tony? Probably not. And heck, it might make Tony appreciate Cory more in the end.

The main goal is Buck OUT, while you two get your house back.

Hugs

 

[Star*]

Go to BIG LOTS - Buy a tarp and some twine -

STake it out in the back yard and put some SPECIAL accoutriments in it - like a cot, a blanket - maybe run an extension cord out there with a light .....and a bucket, newspaper.

Maybe even a MASH style sign that says BUCKS PLACE - 1000 miles and an arrow. Then add a cooler, and a pack of bologna, a loaf o bread, bottle of ketchup-----and tell the bturd - THIS IS your castle. Toss him
some bug spray and say "I'm sure you'll still be here in June - So here ya go - slather up now." Then shut the frickin front door - and let him have his own little castle......and be done with the foul beast.

Problem solved.

Oh yeah and what they all said - Of COURSE - give him a pen and a place to write so he WILL get those bloody forms filled out. (yeah yeah yeah like thats gonna happen and I've got dibs on a heater for when Hades freezes over)

 

[Steely]

Wait...what was all so super secret squirrel on top if the fridge? Is Tony hiding something?

And Buck sounds brain damaged, mentally ill and illiterate. What did he do for a living for the last 40 years? or is he just playing possum?

 

[DammitJanet]

The thing on top of the fridge was a letter from a lawyer and a ticket so Tony can send it off this Friday and get a ticket taken care of. NC has this strange sort of thing going on that I call a criminal enterprise between defense attorney's/prosecutor's/Judges. This works for things like speeding, blowing red lights, going over the center line...etc. Nothing like accidents or DUI's or anything causing damage or injuries.

It works like this: Tony got a rolling stop ticket about a month and a half ago early one morning when no one else was even on the road. Middle of nowhere in the country. Cop saw him and stopped him. This ticket would be worth probably 2 points or so on our insurance which would raise our monthly payment at least 50 to 60 dollars a month for 3 years. If not more. Now he could just pay the ticket which is only like $45 and live with the increase in insurance. However, if he doesnt want to pay for the increase in insurance AND the increase in both insurance points and license points which we all know that if you get 10 license points they take your license, then you call a lawyer and attempt to negotiate the lowest price to "play the con game with the courts". For this rolling stop, it will cost $325 to make it all go away. The defense lawyer gets 150, the prosecution gets 75 for going along with this, the case is knocked down to a busted tail light which is a $10 charge, no court costs because the lawyer brings in a paper showing the tail light is fixed. The judge gets the rest of the money. How is that for a wonderful system? Tony has to do this at least 2 or 3 times a year because he is the main driver for these vans and they work out of town all year long.

As far as Buck being able to read my kitchen menu, I think he can. I put sandwiches on there for Tonight because Tony and I were going out to eat for Valentine's Day. He was making himself 4 sandwiches as I was getting ready waiting on Tony to get home. Now what really irked me was when we were getting ready to leave was Tony turned to Buck and asked him if he wanted us to bring him something home! Excuse me? Didnt Tony read the stupid menu? And Tony didnt offer to bring Billy home. Then I find out as we were eating dinner that Buck got his federal tax refund today so he could have bought his own dang food. Again...why are we spending our money.

I did find out that Cory is not in any danger which makes me much happier. Tony is putting to work supposedly next week or the week after. That means he will be out within no more than 3 weeks tops if he can keep that job. I do have my worries about that because he claims to be in just about as bad condition as I am.

As far as what he has been doing for the last 15 to 20 years? Drugs and skipping across the country working piddly jobs to support that habit. He went out to CA for a little while and lived with some woman who he almost married but she dumped him. He ended up in Vegas working in construction under the table but that didnt last long because he was a coke head and an alky. He has done a ton of drugs for years and years. He came back to SC about 10 years ago and lived with his brother that is a year younger than Tony and they were serious addicts together. Curtis has always had women in and out and Curt has also gone in and out of jail. I have no idea about Bucks criminal record. I am sure he has to have some sort of one. He does think he is much more impressive than he really is and he seems to have this complete lapse of time from remembering the last time he worked at the restaurant when he worked down in Myrtle Beach when he lived with us before which was a great job...then he has these fast food jobs. Its like he worked at the one great job and then he uses that to show that he was a good cook and then he has nothing more to back it up.. I really dont even want him to make the dinners here because he messes them up. He is almost as bad as Billy and I cant figure that out. Tony was taught at his mother's knee so how did Buck miss that?