I am home...WITHOUT Q

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Nov 16, 2011.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Got there, was in the middle of signing him out and in comes doctor and a nurse. They say he has been flipping out over the schedule change. I guess he needed more prep and this is how rigid he is. If a hospital can't change it, you can imagine how my life is. but I am used to it. doctor felt it was not worth getting him so totally agitated when he was doing so much better. So they made him part of the discharge plan, and I talked to him so he knew it was MY decision if he could stay or come home ( can't just act awful and stay). He did not get to watch a movie that he planned on due to the naughty words he was using but though he said that is why he couldn't go , really it was clear he was just so thrown by the schedule change and it was just not his plan. He doesn't care about the movie, he just needed to know the details and be relieved. He was not able to communicate well an tried to hit me (little hits not the rage stuff, still not ok but a totally different thing medically speaking...this we can work with) and once I said what WILL happen and what Wont happen, he jsut got up and said ok and walked out. UMMM, he was just so anxious and it looks like he is being such a defiant kid. But it was clear, even though he didn't get what he said he wanted, it was about his rigid mindset. He was so thrown off course. So, we are planning for tomorrow no matter what. He is perseverating on the game boy that was lost but he has a new one thanks to a friend who's daughter didn't want hers anymore. I have it charged and ready to go and I told him if he rides home nicely we can stop at Game Stop and he can pick a used game (need to save money...now another day without pay!).

    I really wanted him home. I am kind of sad. But it wil be ok.

    He did ask about the new home plan..well not so much asked formally, but really he did his usual ignore that I ever heard anything to the contrary thing... He said, I can't wait to play with my friends outside tomorrow. I said remember the treatment team and I decided that is not a choice anymore. We need to see that you are able to control your words and actions for a full month before I can let you go outside again. And then you will need to be iwth mom at all times until time goes by that we see you can handle it out there.

    I wish they could have seen him this summer and early fall. He was working it! Played WITH other kids, used kind words, listened to me. It was all new and he was not great at it but he was so happy. He was able to follow cues to correct behaviors pretty well. He is who he is and did not have perfect days by any means but he was moving forward. I just feel terrible we are on the down swing of this roller coaster again. Hopefully we are now just going around a curve.

    psychiatric hospital. just called... she said she followed up and he picked a time and he is totally calm now and even thanked her for helping him. He seems like such a bully when he acts that way but once you see what the problem is, he is able to become himself again. Just very preschool like....

    Social worker there said she is jealous of my life....NOT (haha)
  2. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I'm sorry it didn't work out today. Hold on to how he was before. That is how he is not his recent behavior. Hopefully, he can go back to that once his medications and hormones and growing are stable.
  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    The rigid thinking drives me BONKERS. If you figure out a way to make it go away, let me know cause Eeyore is exactly like that.

    Sorry he got so agitated.
  4. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Boy, can I relate to that scenario. If difficult child 1's "plan" doesn't go as he expected, EVERYONE around him knows it. I have learned to work around the rigidity as much as I can but there will ALWAYS be unexpected things that pop up. I don't know how to teach him to handle those because as soon as they happen he melts down so we can't talk about it. Teaching him how to handle unexpected events in general don't work because of the literal thinking and inability to generalize what he has learned. It puts us (and him) in a very precarious spot.

    Buddy, I am glad you made him a part of the team. That is Plan B in action. I am sorry he's not home tonight but it will go much better since he had a say in it. difficult child 1 starts speech therapy on Friday to work on expressive speech ie, using his words and putting words to his feeling, etc. I am hopeful but not holding my breath. Know what I mean??
  5. Renea

    Renea Member

    I'm sorry you didn't get to bring him home today. Hopefully he will have a smoother transition tomorrow. :consoling:
  6. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Hey, buddy, sorry to hear that things didn't go to plan. You must feel really sad about having seen Q playing well and co-operatively with his mates (Britishism?) and that has for the moment deteriorated. You really are a battling mom, that the heavens would be so proud of, except you are probably tired of hearing that and are thinking "okay, okay, so I'm a superhero - can I just relax now, please?" :)
    About the rigidity... like all of us here (it seems), my son is also rigid and fixated on what he wants. The only things I've found that works to get him out of it is firstly humour - he's quite susceptible to being laughed out of things and always loves absurdity and silliness (silly voices, faces, etc) and secondly at times if I totally refuse to enter the drama and histrionics (not easy), but just remain really casual and low-key, he will snap out of it. The minute I put any intensity into my own voice, he locks into battle mode...
    Good luck today buddy. Hugs.