I am in for the fight of my life.

[Californiablonde]

Ex just emailed me at work. HE is dead set on taking custody of my son. He already found him a school close to where he just moved. He found him an after school daycare program too. I totally freaked when I read the email. I called him right away. He is insistent that easy child needs a father figure in his life. He also said that the last time he saw easy child, he asked him if he wanted to live with him. He told him yes he would like to. I told ex that he was just saying that to please him. easy child hates going over there for visits and can't wait to come home. Ex says he is telling me one thing and telling him another. I have no idea what the true story is but I do not want to lose my son! My ex isn't fit to raise a cat much less a special needs child. He hasn't the first clue on how to be a good father to him. I am hoping and praying ex changes his mind so this doesn't get ugly. I am terrified I am going to lose custody. My kids need to stay together. I do not want to split them up. If you all believe in prayer, please start praying now. I really need it.

 

[StressedM0mma]

I do not know many judges that would separate siblings unless one was a danger to the others. Not because a parent only wants one not the other. That is not how it works. It may be time to go to legal aid and get some help with custody issues.

 

[HaoZi]

Yep what you need is an attorney and maybe a guardian ad litem (sp) as well.

 

[Hopeless]

I agree with Haozi you need both an attorney and GAL right now before this goes any further.

 

[BusynMember]

He won't get custody. They look at who takes the most care of him and that's you. He doesn't even have a good record of seeing him. Is he a deadbeat dad? If so, forget it. Are you sure hub has an attorney?
If you can afford an attorney, get one. Frankly, a lot of people can't...it is very expensive.

 

[1905]

He won't get custody, you'll fight all this and I'm so sorry he has started all this trouble for you. He's not even good to them on the occasions he has them. hugs.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Is this a power play? Do you think husband is betting on the fact that you have no money to get a good lawyer to fight him on this? If he slings all kinds of mud at you, he probably is banking on you not being financially able to aggressively defend yourself.

 

[InsaneCdn]

This isn't the fight of your life YET... but you CAN make it into that.
He wants what?
So... turn the tables.
If he's going to poke the tiger (you), you have the right to roar.
What do YOU want?
Let's see...
1) more $$ in general - you need to be able to afford a proper living arrangement, for starters (i.e. min 2 br appointment...); plus he should be paying for their ins - if it's cheaper to have them on yours, AND they are both with you, then he can pay for you to do so...
2) kids visits to not include step-parent
3)... think about whatever else would make your kids' lives better ("we" know it also affects your life, but don't present it that way... you're the caring Mom who is putting everything into those kids)

If it has to turn into a major fight, then get prepared to fight back.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Oh, and... start pulling ALL that documentation together...
Those texts and emails you've been saving,
The sequence of events that has seen such an improvement in your son (and you had to work against X's anti-medications philosophy...)
The missed/late support payments
ALL the details - start now. So you have time to organize, find missing pieces, etc.

p.s. none of us will clue Mr Clueless in to the fact that it isn't a good idea to mess with a Warrior Mom...

 

[Californiablonde]

Well I talked to easy child last night and he said that he never told his dad he wanted to live with him. All he said was that he would like to live in a house like his dad has. easy child told me that he will move in with his dad over his dead body. Kept repeating it over and over again. He does NOT want to live there. Even made a threat to kill his dad if it should happen. So if my ex is planning on taking me to court he is going to have a fight on his hands. And my mom is not backing me up on this one. She thinks my son is better of at his dad's. Was trying to convince me to let him go. She thinks I can't handle two kids on my own even though I've been doing it for the last seven years. So I don't have her support. I am on my own for this one and I'm prepared to fight it.