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I am losing hope
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 656976" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there. I am guessing your daughter is over eighteen. I hope she is not still living in your house.</p><p></p><p>You need to let her grow up or not grow up, but she needs to change. The dance you two are dancing is obviously not working. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting difference results <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />. You need to look after yourself now. You're done being a mommy. You are a mother and friend, if your children are willing to treat your respectfully and love you. If this child is blaming you for her own horrible choices, plus probably lying for sympathy, there is nothing good about her activities to keep her close to her family. She seems to feel entitled and not at all remorseful about her own bad behavior...and she won't take any blame or get help. You have done your job, and done it well. You have two other adult children to prove it. Something is probably wired differently with this particular child, but you can'f fix her. Only she can decide to fix herself and she doesn't sound like sh e even thinks she has a problem.</p><p></p><p>What your daughter did to your mother's kind heart shows you that she has no respect for anybody and is dangerous. Your mother, sadly, let her stay with her for too long. Sometimes we think we have to put up with ANYTHING if it is somebody with our DNA. That's so not true (trust me, first hand knowledge here).</p><p></p><p>I also battle with depression. Always have. My .02, which you can take or leave, is to make sure this particular daughter is not allowed in your house, your castle, your sanctuary. She destroyed it. If she wants to see you and you feel you'd like to talk to her too, meet in a safe place, like a coffee shop. I would change the locks too. She may go ballistic once you set boundaries. It is very sad about your grandson. If you feel she is unfit, call CPS and she will have them visit her and be on their radar and perhaps she'll take better care of him if only because of that. It must be very hard with him involved, but the laws make it very hard for grandparents to help grandchildren. You have done enough and deserve to rest, breathe, enjoy your loved ones and friends who know you are a good person and treat your with respect and stay healthy. You need to do it not just for them, but for yourself too. You are important. You matter.</p><p></p><p>Last of all, you may want to limit your contact with this daughter. If she tries to abuse you with words, texts, whatever...stop interacting with her the minute she does. Don't let it get out of control with her yelling and accusing you of nonsense that isn't true but a makes you feel bad. You can also go NO CONTACT for a while. You need a break. It could make you feel better not engaging with her. This is your decision.</p><p></p><p>I suggest strongly that you cut off the money tree before you go broke supporting her.</p><p></p><p>Only you can make it go away. Does she still live with you? I hope not...</p><p></p><p>We are here to support you. I hope you think of your own safety and health and start living your own life and let your daughter live hers. You deserve that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 656976, member: 1550"] Hi there. I am guessing your daughter is over eighteen. I hope she is not still living in your house. You need to let her grow up or not grow up, but she needs to change. The dance you two are dancing is obviously not working. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting difference results :). You need to look after yourself now. You're done being a mommy. You are a mother and friend, if your children are willing to treat your respectfully and love you. If this child is blaming you for her own horrible choices, plus probably lying for sympathy, there is nothing good about her activities to keep her close to her family. She seems to feel entitled and not at all remorseful about her own bad behavior...and she won't take any blame or get help. You have done your job, and done it well. You have two other adult children to prove it. Something is probably wired differently with this particular child, but you can'f fix her. Only she can decide to fix herself and she doesn't sound like sh e even thinks she has a problem. What your daughter did to your mother's kind heart shows you that she has no respect for anybody and is dangerous. Your mother, sadly, let her stay with her for too long. Sometimes we think we have to put up with ANYTHING if it is somebody with our DNA. That's so not true (trust me, first hand knowledge here). I also battle with depression. Always have. My .02, which you can take or leave, is to make sure this particular daughter is not allowed in your house, your castle, your sanctuary. She destroyed it. If she wants to see you and you feel you'd like to talk to her too, meet in a safe place, like a coffee shop. I would change the locks too. She may go ballistic once you set boundaries. It is very sad about your grandson. If you feel she is unfit, call CPS and she will have them visit her and be on their radar and perhaps she'll take better care of him if only because of that. It must be very hard with him involved, but the laws make it very hard for grandparents to help grandchildren. You have done enough and deserve to rest, breathe, enjoy your loved ones and friends who know you are a good person and treat your with respect and stay healthy. You need to do it not just for them, but for yourself too. You are important. You matter. Last of all, you may want to limit your contact with this daughter. If she tries to abuse you with words, texts, whatever...stop interacting with her the minute she does. Don't let it get out of control with her yelling and accusing you of nonsense that isn't true but a makes you feel bad. You can also go NO CONTACT for a while. You need a break. It could make you feel better not engaging with her. This is your decision. I suggest strongly that you cut off the money tree before you go broke supporting her. Only you can make it go away. Does she still live with you? I hope not... We are here to support you. I hope you think of your own safety and health and start living your own life and let your daughter live hers. You deserve that. [/QUOTE]
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