I am new here and wanted to say hello

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by TearyEyed, Oct 23, 2013.

  1. TearyEyed

    TearyEyed Member

    I have been reading the various posts on this site for a few weeks now and it has been so helpful to hear the stories of people who know what I am going through. My son is currently in the hospital for a self inflicted stab wound to his abdomen. They had to so exploratory surgery to make sure he didnt damage any organs. He didnt. They have him on suicide watch and are waiting for a bed to open up at a psychiatric hospital and then they will move him. This turmoil has been going on for years but really took a turn for the worse last January. He cant live at home and the more I stick to my boundaries, the more his acting out escalates. It is so hard to stand firm and watch him continue to self destruct.

    Thanks for all of the shared stories and insights. It is SO helpful to know there are people out there who really do know the exact same fear, sadness, guilt etc. that I am dealing with.
  2. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome TearyEyed. I'm glad you found us and that you've experienced some solace here.

    That is tough about your son and his recent experience. I'm sorry you are going through this. Making choices to detach from our kids is hard enough but when they act out and escalate as a result, it sure brings on the guilt. There is little you can do but continue on the road to detachment and acceptance. And, yes, it is hard.

    You may want to read the article at the bottom of my post here on detachment. If you haven't already done so, you may want to get in touch with NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness which you can access on line. You may also find great value and tools and understanding by getting yourself professional support, a therapist or a therapist run parent group, a place YOU go to get the support most of us need in order to make the difficult choices we are forced in to making.

    My heart goes out to you, I do understand your fear and sadness and guilt, and I also know that with support and a focus on yourself, you can begin to feel some peace of mind, even in the midst of what feels like chaos and tragedy. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's true. However, it is a choice you make, a choice for your own welfare, well being and happiness. It requires letting go and dealing with the powerlessness and loss of control we feel when we really get that we can't fix it for our kids. Your boy is still young and there may be more for you to do before you reach that point, I don't know.

    Keep posting, it helps. Focus on you. Take care of you. Find support. Sending you wishes for peace..........glad you're here...........
  3. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have an older brother who has been in and out of psychiatric hospitals/suicide attempts since I was 12, so I truly sympathize. My brother's behavior also gets worse if he feels he's being ignored/marginalized. I hope your difficult child gets the help he needs, and you can find some peace as well.
  4. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    Welcome, tearyeyed.

    You've been through such awful things with your child just lately.

    I'm so sorry this is happening.

  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'm really sorry you are hurting so badly for your son.

    If you ever feel like it, maybe you can give us more of a background on him. Does he abuse drugs?

    Until then, know we are here.