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I am not sure I can cope with much more of this...daughter issues
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 626934" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Guitaristmom, this is a good day for you. This is a hard day, but it is a good day. You are finally done. God bless you and God bless your daughter. I am so sorry for the pain and suffering you have endured, and she is enduring too.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes there is no good outcome. I can hear your love and your weariness in your words above. </p><p></p><p>The person who has taken over your daughter is addiction. It is a 40-foot-tall monster that mows down everything---everything and everybody---in its path. It takes no prisoners. It is pure evil, I have come to believe.</p><p></p><p>It is residing in your daughter and in my son. </p><p></p><p>Until THEY decide to fight the monster and it will be the fight of their lives---every single day for the rest of their lives, there is no redemption.</p><p></p><p>I wish there was something, anything we could do but there is not. We have tried it all and more. </p><p></p><p>I remember the day I went to my counselor of some 10 years---she counseled my husband and myself both in marriage counseling and I went to her alone---I went to her and said: I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I was talking about my marriage of 29 years and the fact that I had tried and tried and tried and I was alone in the marriage and worse, I was starting to choke every time we were in the room together. I truly stayed in the marriage way too long but I kept thinking I could try hard enough to fix things. I tried for 10 long years. Finally, there is nothing left, no reserves at all. </p><p></p><p>She said: Oh, I just hate that because you two are such good people. </p><p></p><p>I said: What would you have me try that I have not tried many many times before? Tell me and I will try it.</p><p></p><p>There was a long long silence.</p><p></p><p>She had no answer for me.</p><p></p><p>This counselor---as good as she was---admitted to me later that she knew little about addiction. Today, I can see that, looking back. And I have had to get over the anger and resentment I felt toward her---the actual betrayal I felt---because she can't know what she doesn't know, and when we started together neither of us had any idea we were dealing with alcoholism.</p><p></p><p>Addiction is cunning and baffling and insidious. It is like an evil snake that slithers throughout a relationship, waiting to strike and bite and damage and kill. And it is ringed with denial. </p><p></p><p>We can't win against it. All we can finally do is turn that energy and attention onto ourselves and try to heal from it all and through that healing, we will discover an amazing gift---becoming much better human beings because if it. It is true fruit from the poisonous tree. </p><p></p><p>Blessings on you today guitarmom. You are a warrior. I hope you can now focus on having a great life regardless.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 626934, member: 17542"] Guitaristmom, this is a good day for you. This is a hard day, but it is a good day. You are finally done. God bless you and God bless your daughter. I am so sorry for the pain and suffering you have endured, and she is enduring too. Sometimes there is no good outcome. I can hear your love and your weariness in your words above. The person who has taken over your daughter is addiction. It is a 40-foot-tall monster that mows down everything---everything and everybody---in its path. It takes no prisoners. It is pure evil, I have come to believe. It is residing in your daughter and in my son. Until THEY decide to fight the monster and it will be the fight of their lives---every single day for the rest of their lives, there is no redemption. I wish there was something, anything we could do but there is not. We have tried it all and more. I remember the day I went to my counselor of some 10 years---she counseled my husband and myself both in marriage counseling and I went to her alone---I went to her and said: I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I was talking about my marriage of 29 years and the fact that I had tried and tried and tried and I was alone in the marriage and worse, I was starting to choke every time we were in the room together. I truly stayed in the marriage way too long but I kept thinking I could try hard enough to fix things. I tried for 10 long years. Finally, there is nothing left, no reserves at all. She said: Oh, I just hate that because you two are such good people. I said: What would you have me try that I have not tried many many times before? Tell me and I will try it. There was a long long silence. She had no answer for me. This counselor---as good as she was---admitted to me later that she knew little about addiction. Today, I can see that, looking back. And I have had to get over the anger and resentment I felt toward her---the actual betrayal I felt---because she can't know what she doesn't know, and when we started together neither of us had any idea we were dealing with alcoholism. Addiction is cunning and baffling and insidious. It is like an evil snake that slithers throughout a relationship, waiting to strike and bite and damage and kill. And it is ringed with denial. We can't win against it. All we can finally do is turn that energy and attention onto ourselves and try to heal from it all and through that healing, we will discover an amazing gift---becoming much better human beings because if it. It is true fruit from the poisonous tree. Blessings on you today guitarmom. You are a warrior. I hope you can now focus on having a great life regardless. [/QUOTE]
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I am not sure I can cope with much more of this...daughter issues
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