I am so ANGRY - very long

[flutterby]

And there really aren't too many people in my line of fire.

Last night, difficult child was complaining dramatically about her stomach hurting. And this time she added shortness of breath and dizziness (which I never witnessed, by the way). She also had stopped taking the Prevacid rx'd by our GP. But, she didn't want to hear anything about that. She doesn't like taking medicine and she can't explain it. Funny, cause she had no trouble taking it initially - and she has no trouble taking her BC and trazodone.

This is a pattern with her. Complains of an ailment. We go to the doctor. Doctor prescribes medications. difficult child refuses to take the medications and keeps complaining of the ailment wanting to go back to the doctor and wanting this miracle fix.

Last night she said she didn't like taking the medication because they don't know for sure that's the issue.

You know, I've had about as much as I can take. I've done this too many times for too many years, and I'm stressed to my limit. And I told her, none too delicately, that they try the medication first because the alternative is doing a test where she would either have to drink this nasty barium stuff and they take x-rays as it goes through her system, or they would have to stick a tube down her throat to look at her stomach.

Of course, she lost it and melted down and sat on the kitchen floor sobbing hysterically for an hour.

I decided to take her temp and it was mildly elevated. So, I told her we were going to the ER. Really. I'd had enough. Then she starts with, "I don't know what to do", and I told her it wasn't up to her. If she was that sick, I was making the decision.

I wanted to get a shower before we left, and she threw a colossal fit over that, so whatever we'll just go. Except that we can't. Because easy child and girlfriend aren't home and I'm blocked in. I called easy child to find out where they were and they were at my mom's. 45 minutes away. I was already in no mood, and I've told them a hundred times not to block me in, and now I need to leave and can't and they're 45 minutes away.

So, I got a shower anyway.

easy child and girlfriend finally get home - took them over an hour - and I asked one of them if they could go with me. My stress was through the roof. My BiPolar (BP) was significantly elevated even with my medication. I was feeling lightheaded, heart palpitations that were taking my breath away, etc, etc, etc. girlfriend didn't have school today and didn't work until this afternoon. easy child threw a fit about it. "We do everything!". Uh huh. You live here for free, you use my water, gas, electric and cable, you eat my food - and you occasionally run to the store for me and clean up around the house (which is their mess, too).

Whatever. Just move the cars so I can go. "Mom, don't be mad at me." "Just move the cars. We have to go."

So, we get to the ER and the nurse is taking her history and besides anxiety and insomnia, difficult child throws in ADD (a major thorn in my side) AND Mixed Personality Disorder.

Seriously? Where the hell did that come from? Well, apparently therapist read off criteria to various personality disorders to difficult child and told difficult child that if you have more than one, or traits of more than one, then you have Mixed PD. therapist read off avoidant, dependent, obsessive-compulsive pd - and she couldn't remember what else.

OMFreakingG.

I don't know what the freak is going on, but I am NOT happy and I will be unloading on therapist come Monday morning when I have my appointment. The ADD is bad enough. therapist has NO idea how severe difficult child's anxiety/panic is. Because difficult child doesn't tell her. I've addressed it and it was kinda played over. And when I took difficult child in with me *specifically* to address it earlier this week, she stopped me and we did the the stupid, freakin', ADD questionnaire.

ADD or not, her anxiety is WAY worse than anything else going on and that has to be treated first. If someone goes into the hospital with a broken arm and is having a seizure, they don't stop everything and treat the arm - they address the seizure. Simple bleeping medicine.

She CANNOT do these things with a kid who is a hypochondriac; who is doing her own "research" and diagnosing herself. WTH is she thinking?

We were at the ER for 4 hours and there's not a flipping thing wrong with her other than she needs to take the Prevacid. However, difficult child did NOT like being there for 4 hours, giving blood, giving urine, having x-rays, having to wear a gown, and having to remove her bra for the x-rays. So, you know, this is what you get when you insist on not following doctor's orders and insisting something else is wrong. She kept wanting to go home, but, nope. Not until all the test results are back.

We got home at 1:45am and I ate a pb&j. First thing I had eaten all day.

And easy child? I don't even want to talk to him.

My mom's worried that all of this is going to cause another heart attack and all I can think is - well, it would get me out of the house for a couple of days.

 

[Shari]

Oh, Heather. Hugs.

First, smack easy child cause the first thing I thought when you wrote that is "she's told them not to block her in!!!"

I am so sorry difficult child is goinig thru this'doiing this/whatever. And I'm sorry therapist is playing along.

Maybe at least an unpleasant trip to the er will make her think first next time.

Hugs.

 

[DaisyFace]

Heather--

As I am writing this, I hope you are in bed getting some sleep. It sounds like you had a terrible day.

But at the same time, I think you did absolutely the right thing. You are not playing any more. It's not anxiety? Fine. Take her to the ER because she is obviously not experiencing anxiety...it must be something more serious--like a stroke or a bleeding ulcer. No? Not a stroke? Well, then I guess "anxiety" and "panic attack" get listed in the hosptial records. Too bad...so sad.

Can you ban easy child from parking in the driveway altogether? Sounds like he lost that priviledge when his sister had an emergency and needed to be seen at the ER. He don't like it? Too bad...so sad.

I hope you have earned a bit more respect all the way around. You deserve it.

Have a restful evening...

--DaisyFace

 

[crazymama30]

Oh man. Here's hoping you get some rest. I am with banning easy child from parking in the driveway unless he leaves keys for the car in the house so you can move it. that is really not ok.

Mixed personality disorder?? Wow. therapist does not know what she is dealing with, in regards to you warrior mom or difficult child. Sounds like she needs to get the true picture of difficult child.

 

[Shari]

Can easy child give you a dup set of keys to his car? For just this reason?

 

[flutterby]

It was girlfriend's car. I could get a set of keys and I could probably move it if I needed to (it's a standard). No one, however, can drive easy child's car - although I do have keys for it. It's a standard, with an extremely tight gear ratio and sensitive clutch. My mother who learned on a standard and has driven them all her life, stalls it. easy child's father has a CDL and he could barely drive it. I cannot even move it.

We have a long, one car driveway with a pull out on the side. I was parked in the garage. easy child and girlfriend were gone in easy child's car and girlfriend's car was blocking me. Her car could have been in the pull off. It's been shoveled - (start whine here) but there's snow all around it and it takes fifteen minutes to get the car in and out of there because of the pulling forward and backing up and pulling forward and backing up. Yep. Pull forward and back up twice. 15 minutes. Hmmmm.

easy child was going to the store tonight and I asked him to pick up some bread - for us and for difficult child. He got ****** and hasn't talked to me for the rest of the night - which is fine because I don't want to talk to him. He and girlfriend both eat the regular bread. And as far as buying bread for difficult child? Well, they were making tacos using the meat and cheese I bought. I don't want to hear it about a couple of dollars loaf of bread. Seriously.

And therapist? I just don't know. I'm infuriated over that whole topic.

And difficult child? Fine today. No complaints of stomach pain or anything. It's a miraculous recovery.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

I really don't get the empty nest syndrome. I'm ready for them ALL to be gone.

 

[KTMom91]

What a day! I have to agree with the "no parking" rule, and the back-up set of keys. Or you could could always call, have them towed, and let them get the vehicle out of impound. I know, I'm not always very nice...

Does difficult child even mention the anxiety, or is she looking for something that sounds more dramatic to explain it? Mixed personality disorder? Wow...

Hope you have a pleasant and peaceful weekend, while you're making notes on what to yell at the therapist come Monday.

 

[flutterby]

difficult child is very out of touch with her anxiety. She has meltdowns and anxiety/panic attacks of epic proportions, but when I told the GP and therapist that she's missed a lot of school recently because of it, she interjects and says she missed school because she was sick (stomach). She does not at all make the connection between her anxiety and physical ailments. I'm not even sure how much of the emotional 'episodes' she remembers.

 

[crazymama30]

Flutter, my husband is very out of touch with how his emotional/mental status coincides with his physical but I can see it so clearly. I am willing to bet that difficult child does not remember a lot of the episodes, when my husband gets manic he does not remember it. I could see how anxiety could be the same way.

I hope that therapist is able to get a clear picture of difficult child. It is hard when the pt does not realize there is a problem or does not want to admit to it so the doctor does not see it.

 

[flutterby]

With as much time as I've spent alone with therapist talking about difficult child (I see her almost weekly, as well), she should have a clear picture.

I don't know what the deal is.

 

[KTMom91]

Can you video her during an episode? Does your cell phone have video capabilities? Might therapist catch a better clue when seeing it recorded?

I'm trying to think of anything, maybe grasping at straws, and I'm sure you've thought of it before, but I'm still thinking!

 

[flutterby]

I've thought of that and am trying to figure out a way. I'll have to record her without her knowing it, so it might just be audio.