I am so FED UP and DISGUSTED

[Steely]

What about giving Kayla one of those new Barbies with the cameras in them? You could give it as a gift as a "fun way to interact with nana." And just take it from there. You would at least be able to hear dialogue in the other rooms - and she may possibly do other things with Barbie that exposes or films the abuse????

 

[rejectedmom]

Honestly, this is a tough situation. Getting evidence illegally is probably not the best approach and could get you in alot of trouble. I think the best approach is to talk to the girls quietly when you are alone with them. Just tell them that you love them and that they can tell you anything and you will still love them. Then give them a warm hug, change the subject and do something that makes them giggle (no tickling!). Just that no more and repeat it at every opportune occasion. Eventually they will start opening up. When kids are being abused they are afraid to speak out. Sometimes they think they are at fault, or that they will be taken away and be even more mistreated. They often think they are the bad ones and that they will be punished. They feel guilty or think that no one wil beleive them. All because they have be programed by their abuser to feel this way. Abused children have no trust for people but usually they are drawn to one person. That person is someone they do not feel threatened by, someone they think is kind and smart enough to know how to help them.

Play therapy is a good thing if you can afford it but I am guessing not. This other approach I outlined will take a little longer but will cost nothing but your effort. I fostered several sexually abused children. They exhibited all kinds of behaviors that clue the vigilant observer in to their abuse. Your gut is probably reacting to these clues.

The other thing that I did once when DSS was not moving on a situation was to call my senator's office. Yes it is extreme but you never know they could be helpful. In my case the senator had been raised in foster care himself so it hit a chord and he moved fast. Of course DSS was livid with me but it worked. -RM

 

[natalieoh]

Wow, I feel for you. What a tough decision. You've dealt with so much already and now to have the grandkids as victims of your soninlaws insanity is really hard. Has CPS ever been out because of suspicion of sex abuse with the kids? A lot of CPS have a special unit to rule out if the kids have been affected. Symptoms of sexual abuse are frequent urinary infections, frequent nightmares, knowledge of sexual acts before is age appropriate, frequent masturbation, frequent nightmares and inappropriate sexual play with dolls/kids etc. I think you were alluding to this. Katie doesn't care about this???? wheew. My heart goes out to you. I pray this can end well.

 

[Hound dog]

Oh, trust me, I know all the cues to sexual abuse, having once been a victim myself. So Nana has her eagle eye watching for the slightest sign, something to pounce on. But I have to gain these kids trust first and that is going to take time. Daddy has had many years to convince them it's all about big bad him.....it's going to take a while for them to realize that they have a family which will move heaven and earth for them and a Nana that will lead the war party.

And no.......katie doesn't seem the least bit concerned.

Play therapy would be grand.....except she'd never allow them to go to any therapy of any kind. She may not be the brightest bulb in the box, but she's not that stupid. sigh

 

[Shari]

Pose as a dude looking for some photos. Start legal, build some rapport, then ask if he has anything *else* he could share.

Check with your officer first, tho, so YOU don't get in trouble for soliciting...

 

[susiestar]

Shari has a good idea. If you can catch him offering something to someone online, it just might get some real attention from the authorities. If you want FBI involved, it needs to go over state lines I think. I don't know if the FCC will get involved with the internet. I know they do with telephones. I think that is the right letters for the group I am thinking of - the one you complain to about telemarketers who won't put you on the do not call list. Heck, if he IS doing something online with regard to pics of kids, etc... it may be that he could be encouraged to start using paypal and if he ever agrees to take a credit card through paypal it establishes it as a business and there are groups who would get involved then. That perverted justice group might also have some ideas.

I really hope the kids learn to trust you and the family and will confide in you. Would it be possible when easy child is feeling a little better in a few weeks to take Katie's kids on a playdate to easy child's house now and then? For a couple of hours, not all day, but arrange it so that she can "rest" because you know the headaches are "bad", or even, gag, so that she and M can have some "date" time? I know that makes you want to vomit just reading about it, and to go and scrub your brain with scouring powder, but the ONLY way you will get those kids alone with-o their parents is to make it appeal to the parents. My parents have been doing this with exsil for a LONG time. They know she will just get stoned/drunk and let niece wander where she wants for hours (at age 8, living on a 4 lane highway) with no supervision. It is their was to keep tabs on exsil and to help keep niece safe.

I am so sorry this is an issue.