I am so lost, feel so alone, unsure where to turn...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Chaosuncontained, Sep 8, 2011.

  1. Chaosuncontained

    Chaosuncontained New Member

    I have posted a few times but not with regularity.

    My son is 9. ADHD and a Mood Disorder. His medicines are listed below...he started both a week ago. But had been medicated since he was 4.

    He has been on a section 504 plan since 2nd grade. He has had MAJOR school issues since PreK.

    He refuses to do work. He hides under his desk. He loses control and rolls on the floor or even runs from the room if he feels threatened. Last week he bit a kid on the ankle (he was under the desk and she was "bothering him").

    We had a meeting last week with all 4 teachers, the counselor and the principal. He goes to a tiny school. There are 80 students in the 4th grade. It is the only school in our district. I feel like they are all from the good ole boy mentality. That I am a bad parent. He just needs more discipline. That he just needs to "cut it out".

    Friday Carson was playing a math game with a few friend and Carson pretended he was going to bite a friend on the neck (he had bitten a girls ankle the day before). He didn't bite. He received 2 days of On Campus Suspension. Today was his first day back in regular class.

    At 8:45 the principal calls me, on speakerphone, with Carson in the room. Says that Carson was given a paper to do in Reading and said he couldn't do it and was found rolling on the floor. I asked Carson about the paper. It had 20 things to do on it and he said it was too hard (he only sees TWENTY things...and automatically thinks he can't do it). I reminded him that when he had a paper with a lot of questions or problems on it to just worry about the first one! The move to the next one. Take it one problem/question at a time. The principal then said "If he doesn't do his work I have no place for him here. It's up to Carson if he stays or goes home. His choice."

    While I agree he sometimes needs to be given choices... I don't believe you should tell a kid who hates school because he is different, hates to do his work because he always thinks he will fail and hates school because he doesnt think anyone there CARES about him that he can decide if he wants to go home!!!!

    I don't know what to do. I called the counselor and gave her an explnation about why I THINK he acted the way he did (over whelemd). I also voiced my concerns over what the principal had said. She said I would need to talk to him. I told her I was thinking of getting info from the doctor regarding IEP (I REALLY think Carson needs an aide--to keep him on track, someone who can get involved in situations BEFORE they become situations. A cheer leader. A person who can give him instructions several times as he does the work). Looking at IEP stuff online is like reading Spanish to me...sigh.

    I asked the counselor if I could voulunteer at the school as his aide for a temporary time...or as long as he needs one. I think he needs confidence in the classroom and the teachers dont have time. That was a HUGE complaint of theirs in the meeting. "He's taking valuable teaching time away from the other students." She said "I don't know". She said she would talk to the Principal and have him call me. Yeah, I'm waiting on pins and needles.

    I called and made an appointment with Carson's doctor. I don't know where to go, what to do...

    I'm the only one who can help Carson--the school doesnt want to. And I have no idea WHAT to do, WHO to turn to or WHAT to ask/demand.

    I just keep praying, crying and praying... I need help.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I don't remember if this is on another post... but who did the ADHD diagnosis, and when? What other evaluations has he had - before or since?

    There is more than just ADHD going on here... and school is not recognizing this.
    This age - the grade 3/4 transition - is a classical point for "major problems"... because the learning mode shifts.
    Instead of learning basic sklls - like how to read and write - they have to use those skills for other learning.
    It is assumed they have mastered those skills well - or that they will catch up on their own.

    The behaviors you are describing? Classic pushback... because the kid knows intuitively what the teachers will not believe... that there are reasons why he can't do this stuff. BUT - thekid doesn't know why, either.
    What happens is... kid tries to self-advocate (i can't do it)... teacher takes it as attitude and essentially punishes the attempt to reach out for help... and we end up with serious behavior problems.

    If he hasn't had a comprehensive evaluation in the last couple of years, he needs one. Now, I'm not thinking any strange or serious dxes here... but rather, something "hidden" that has a huge impact - usually, these can be handled with interventions and accomodations. Things like...
    - dysgraphia - if he reads well but pushes back on writing, then he may in fact have trouble with written output
    - motor skills issues... which can seriously impede the writing process
    - auditory issues - Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) (difficulty processing verbal language) or other auditory disorders (for example, difficulty listening through background noise)
    - learning disabilities (dyslexia etc.)
    - sensory issues

    Any one of these can have major impact - and there can be more than one at play. I would NOT rely on school-based evaluation to find most of these...

    Does he read well? How are his motor skills? are the problems mostly at school, or do they also happen at home?
  3. keista

    keista New Member

    Welcome to the board!

    I've got one question for the ppl who are blaming your parenting for his behavior: Then why are easy child 2 and easy child 3 NOT having such issues? DUH!

    Are you in the US? Really? One elementary school in the district? Or is that in your town? by the way it's not that small. My kids go to a smaller school. Only 50 or so kids in the 5th grade this year.

    If he's not doing his schoolwork and has a diagnosis of ADHD, he should be eligible for an IEP as opposed to a 504 plan. Don't ask what the counselor thinks, ask for an IEP evaluation. PERIOD.

    Have you looked into advocates in your area? Here we have a small advocate organization that is paid for by the state. Two VERY dedicated ppl to cover our entire district. I've used them as my "muscle" a few times. The last time was for the IEP meeting shortly after son started middle school. They were very uncooperative with me until I brought her in. As we were leaving, she asked why I invited her because they seemed very much "on board". Simple. They only became that way because she was in on the meeting. Haven't had to call her since. From that point on, the school knew I had an advocate that REALLY knew the ins and outs of the law and if there were any more problems, I wouldn't hesitate to call her in again.

    WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!! If he doesn't do the work, if the teachers and staff can't get him to do the work, they will have to deal with him even LONGER. I don't know of anywhere in the modern world that a 9 year old child can just choose NOT to go to school. If he doesn't do the work, he can't get promoted, and then they have to do remediation.

    Regarding the new medications, any change in behavior yet? Better, worse, the same? Any medication combos in the past that worked?
  4. Chaosuncontained

    Chaosuncontained New Member

    Carson was dignosed with ADHD at age 4 by a Psychiatrist. He was on every medication known to man. It all worked for a few months...then would begin to stop working. At age 8 he moved to live with me full time (ex and I have joint custody of our 3 minor children), because he was having MAJOR problems in school--and the school was not helping, and ex's new wife couldn't handle Carson.

    He stopped seeing the Psychiatrist--we never felt we ever saw results and that Doctor had the personality of a bar of soap. In 4 years Carson MAYBE said 10 words to him. He never bonded with the doctor. I got him an appointment with a doctor near my house that is NOT a Psychaitrist or a Therapist or a Psychologist. He's just a plain ole MD--but he specializes in ADHD/Mood Disorder type kids. He was dignosed with having a mood disorder and put on Abilify. MIRACULOUS improvement. For about 7 months. Sigh. Now we are on Intuniv (he was having a "tic", rolling his neck while on Metadate) and Respirdone (supposedly can help with defiance?). He's only beeon on his new medications for a week... but OH my. He's been in school almost 3 weeks and he has refused to do MOST of his school work, been in the principals office twice, OCS for 2 days.

    The pushback stuff you said? SPOT ON! I can see that. That makes sense to me.

    He reads like a CHAMP--commended on all TAKS tests! One of the best reader in his class--read The Hobbitt last year. He hates handwritting, cursive... it's awful to read. I think maybe because its so hard for him to try to control his fingers/pencil. But he is good at computer, video games... He can't tie his shoes (doesnt even want to learn).

    We have problems at home--but not NEAR the problems he is having at school. We know what to say here. We CAN take the time to explain things to him. He trusts us. He knows that even when we get on to him we still love and care for him. I can get him to do his homework if I sit with him at the table...keep him on track. "Ok, you finished that one, lets do the next." "Do you know where the ten-thousand place value is? Well, show me"

    He's never had a comprehensive evaluation (?) Who would do this?

    Thank you.
  5. Chaosuncontained

    Chaosuncontained New Member

    Keista, LOL. Yes, I am in the US. Texas. One elementary (middle, high) school in the district. Our town is so small it actually SHARES a school with the neighboring TINY town. LOL

    I will ask the doctor (I have a meeting set up with him on Monday) about advocates in the area. I need one. I have no idea what I am doing but I'll be damned if I let the school drop the ball regarding my boy.
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Fine motor skills issues = guaranteed MAJOR problems at school.
    You see... he "can" write - sort of. Its just that he cannot write when he has to "use" it... think and write, for example, or listen and write. Because he is having to spend all his brain power trying to write...
    But because he "can", teachers think he just doesn't want to. been there done that. Do NOT buy into that line. Your son's life depends on it.

    This problem ALONE is enough... but there may be more.

    I'd take a multi-sided approach to this if I were you...
    1) schedule an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation - no dxes come out of this, but highly useful info plus follow-on therapy ... ask for testing on sensory issues and on gross and fine motor skills issues. Occupational Therapist (OT) can make recommendations to the school... including TECHNOLOGY for all writing.
    2) while you're at it... see if there is any way to schedule a private Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) evaluation - looking at non-typical auditory processing problems (for example... hears fine and understands language well, but cannot pick out the important sounds when background noise is present) OR minor hearing issues (they can screen for both). This would result in recommendations for FURTHER TESTING - but its a good start.
    3) in the US,we the most common comprehensive evaluation is neuropsychologist... but even then, its not 100% consistent. You need someone who can test for the whole spectrum of issues (but they don't usually do the stuff covered by Occupational Therapist (OT) and Speech Language Pathologist (SLP)... so if you have that first, they will make use of the reports and recommendations). The question for this evaluator is... here is what we and the school are seeing for issues... we need to know all the reasons for this so we can come up with an appropriate plan - medications, interventions, accommodations, etc.

    But before that? I'd be fighting the school head-on to allow a trial-run of technology support... get him to do 100% of all written work on computer only. I mean almost zero pencil. What happens if you take the physical writing component out? It might be magic... or it might simply reveal another layer... maybe he has dysgraphia as well (a learning disability... where even in the absense of motor skills issues being a factor, they have trouble producing writen output).

    And while you're at it, go to www.canchild.ca and look up Developmental Coordination Disorder. If that seems to fit at all, share that info with your son. HE needs to know that he is not being bad, that there are disorders like this out there - whether he has it or not - and that you are going to get help to find out exactly what his issues are. You need to find ways to help HIM understand what is going on... so he can stop beating himself up all the time - which might in fact have a major impact on the mood disorder. Because... kids with motor skills problems and/or learning disabilities and/or auditory issues (ok, pretty much any un-diagnosed or insufficiently-supported-diagnosis) usually ends up with a mood disorder... anything from depression to anxiety to insanity... or all three.

    Hang in there.
    This is absolutely NOT your parenting.
    But... to be fair... school probably doesn't know much about these things either (I'm having to wear out my soapbox all the time).
    Don't make this a war. Try to get school on your side. Share what you've just found out, ask them to track patterns, symptoms, etc. so you have more info when you take your fight to the medical side of things... Help them understand that you and they have the same goal... to enable difficult child to be successful in school and in life.

    And yes - start pushing for that IEP. He'll need that to get the technology support... for starters.
  7. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I'm so sorry Chaos. I am going through the same thing with my difficult child only he is on the Autism Spectrum and I swear Special Education teachers don't seem to really understand Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) unless it is the "textbook Rainman" type of Autism. My son has reading dificulties (that we just found out about 6 months ago) that have been causing him problems all along and no one even thought to evaluate his reading skills. They just assumed he was a defiant child and treated him that way.

    I would suggest you have a VERY thorough evaluation done on reading comprehension, language processing, visual perception, sensory integration issues (thorough Occupational Therapy evaluation) just to name a few. It sounds like there might be more going on than anyone realizes because "all the rocks haven't been turned over yet".

    {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} to you and your difficult child.
  8. jal

    jal Member

    My difficult child is also 9 diagnosis'd ADHD & Mood not otherwise specified. He was on every medication under the sun too since age 3-4 with no luck. Currently, Intuniv and Prozac. Intuniv has been a blessing for him. Huge improvements since being on it since the spring. Push immediatley for an evaluation. When a child's diagnosis interferes with his or other students learning an IEP is in order under IDEA he qualifies for it. Now the games with school begin. Immediately, send a registered letter requesting an evaluation to the Director of Pupil services for your district. This will kick off a federal timeline that they have to abide by to get the evaluation done. I knew before my child went to school he'd have issues. He's smart, very adept in math and reads very well, but the larger classroom environment was not for him @ the time. My school told me well maybe he"ll get a 504. I said give him a month here and we'll be formatting an IEP. We were. In first grade we moved him to a therapuetic school out of district. Broke our hearts, but it was the best for him. Now he's mainstreaming there (his program is within a regualr school) and so far he's on track to transfer back to district this year.

    I do have to add we have a great district and have never met any resistance. We are lucky and I do know that that is not the case 95% of the time. The most important thing you can do now is get that registered request for an evaluation done. Then the ball's in their court.

    I sympathize with your situation as I have lived it, but with the proper supports in place he can succeed, I've seen that too!
  9. keista

    keista New Member

    Fine motor skill issues. Ask the school for an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation. That's an "easy" in to an IEP My son has assisted technology accommodation for this. His handwriting is considered "average" by todays standards, but his hand cramps quickly and he would spend so much time and energy forming his letters that he'd forget what he was writing. Typing opened up a whole new world, and back in elementary school would even write stories in his free time just for the fun of it!
  10. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Right on, Warrior Mom!
    That is exactly what it takes...
    And we're here, to help however we can...
  11. Zardo

    Zardo Member

    This story is familiar. My son was much older when the wheels fell off the bus, but the basic issues were the same - could not do work, putting anything on paper became a huge issue, after 6-8 months of stuggling to try to MAKE him do work, the bahavior issues began a school and home. Here is what I learned after almost 2 years of trying to help a now 15 year old with similar issues: getting the help your son needs will be hard to do on your own. It's a complicated issue. The schools want to try to fit these kids into their "box" of how to work with them, but is usually doesn't work and the behaviors get worse. In addition, the help they are able to provide is oftern times still in a classroom with a lot of peers in it, which in my case, did not work. I am a fan of the "aide" idea, but highly reccomend that it is NOT you. The more you become involved in trying to "fix" things for him, the more he will grow to resent you as anything related to something that creates such misery for them becomes part of the problem. To successfully navigate the school system and educate both the school and yourself about ways to help him, you need to get an expert in; an educational consultant or advocate who has worked with kids like him and has many experiences to draw from. When I was trying to get help for my son, the school continually put it off and talked about him being the problem more than looking at how to help him with his problem. The day I walked in with an education consutlant, everything changed, from day one. You may even find that an alternative school setting for a period of time, while he learns how to not be so emotional about facing his learning challenges may be helpful. These schools should be available through your pblic school system. If not, maybe they will pay for a private therapeutic school placement where he can learn new skills and then transtion back. If he needs that, you will need an education consultant to make that happen. From your first conversation with a consultant, you will no longer feel alone and you feel that there is hope.

    Best of luck - go get the help you and your son need - DON"T GO IT ALONE - and be strong!
  12. jennd23

    jennd23 New Member

    I hate to sound pessimistic, but I would absolutely recommend getting your OWN evaluations done first before trying to get the school to do one. My TX school district did SQUAT for us with their evaluations. He qualified for nothing. I had an MD diagnosis, a psychiatric diagnosis, and a neuro-psychiatric diagnois all stating basically the same thing. They wouldn't qualify him for anything even with all of those and the district evaluation "magically" found nothing. My personal recommendation is get a completely impartial assessment done FIRST to know what you're dealing with before you start working with the school.

    But I don't think a letter is a bad idea in the mean time to get their clock ticking. I just hate to see someone rely on that and not get their own evaluation done because I don't think all the districts are completely honest with parents. Now SOME are great, no question....I'd just personally rather know from my own impartial assessment before letting them fill my head.
  13. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I agree with the independent-evaluation approach - maybe for different reasons. But it could be "all of the above"..
    We found? School evaluations are limited to what THEY are prepared to go looking for.

    SO... if the school proposes testing for LDs... then I'd jump at it. Because... they do (generally) know LDs pretty good, and if they are prepared to test for those, then they are making a de-facto statement that they expect to find something.
    But even with an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation? they aren't going to test for the things YOU are looking for, generally.
    We did our own first - and then the school added a 'review' by the school Occupational Therapist (OT) for additional school-specific recommendations... we saved them $$ by doing a detailed evaluation, but what we got back was cooperation - although THAT isn't guaranteed either!

    If you can get some form of advocate who knows your specific school or school board WELL, they can tell you which evaluations are good to get from school and which to push for independently.
  14. Methuselah

    Methuselah New Member

    I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Your son is lucky to have you in his life.

    I'm not able to help as some of the other parents, but my difficult child 2 had problems with worksheets overwhelming her, too. I would put a piece of construction paper over the worksheet, so one problem at a time would be revealed not all 20. It seemed to helped.

    Good luck, and remember, your son has a right to a public education. The school has to accommodate him. To make sure, set up an IEP along with the 504 plan.
  15. jal

    jal Member

    After reading some other posts, I should add in our situation we did do independant evaluations before he even got to school. We started this at the age of 3. He had Tdocs, psychiatrists and we did an independant neuropsychologist evaluation, so I had a ton of documentation going in & like I said I started with distict just before he went to Kindergarden because I knew he would have problems. Getting kicked out of 5 daycares gives you a heads up. But in order to get any evaluation going through the school the letter requesting the evaluation needs to be done via registered mail. If you are not certain going at it alone, by all means please contact an advocate to help you through the process. I am in the minority here because I have never had to fight my district like so many people do. Why? I don't know. They've always accomodated my requests, done the evaluations they said they were going to and never blocked us from anything that would help difficult child. They have never tried to play games with us. I've had a para in mainstream, a para to assist him at daycare (not even affiliated with-school & in the summertime), he has private transportation to and from his out of distict school and is dropped off at my office in the afternoon. I even have full staff IEP meetings in the summer if I want/need it.

    I alos agree with the poster that recommends that you not be the aide. This needs to come from the school.
  16. Chaosuncontained

    Chaosuncontained New Member

    TeDo, I agree. There are some rocks that need to be turned over. I have an appointment with his doctor Monday. I will be telling him about his 2 days in OCS, 2 trips to the principal and his refusal to do work. He is still crawling under the desk--and he even ran out of his classroom earlier this week because he wasn't going to be able to do something he wanted to do. SOMETHING else is going on! It breaks my heart that this little boy, who is so loving at home (yet we do still have some problems) seems to be so OUT OF CONTROL at school. He's 9. He is nine. He's been having trouble since he was 3--when will we all get to see the real Carson? The one buried under all this... I know he's in there and that he wants to come out--but I don't know how to help him.

    Thank you
  17. Chaosuncontained

    Chaosuncontained New Member

    Thank you all for your comments, hugs and support. It means more to me than you know--well, wait, you've been here too, so you do know...lol

    You all have given me a lot to think about. I made an appointment with his doctor for Monday morning. I'll tell him I want additional testing...if HE can't do it, he can direct me to where I can get it done. I want his advice on IEP for Carson. I want/need his advice on what to tell the school. The principal told me today "Carson has no problem doing the things he *wants* to do...he just doesn't *want* to do his work". While that may be partly true--it isn't that cut and dried. I REALLY think that when he is given a page with 20 questions on it that he freaks. It is overwhelming, daunting. He thinks to himself "I can't. It's too hard. I'm not going to be able to do all this, so I won't even try" and then he shuts down, crawls under his desk and sulks. But I need *something* from the doctor to help me explain it to them...because they don't seem to WANT to try to get it.

    This afternoon "Richard" AKA The Principal, called me back. He apologized for his comments reagrding "having no place for him (Carson) here" and for telling Carson that it was his choice whether he wanted to do his work or go home. What 9 year old will pick staying at school and doing work over going home? He was very calm and I really felt like he was trying to placate me. Told me to really think about IEP...was I sure this is what I wanted for Carson? I told him that Carson being on medication, section 504...none of THAT was working. That is may be the best thing for him to get evaluated at least--we could maybe get a better idea of what we are dealing with. That maybe being Bipolar with ADHD wasn't all he needed help with. Maybe he has a math learning disability? Or maybe the writing one (since he hates cursive--it takes him literally minutes to write ONE word.)? I could tell that my threats of IEP has him rattled. Our school district is already having financial issues (what school isn't)--and the idea that they might have to fork out money for doctors and evaluations and "serious accomodations" is giving him pause.

    But I still don't know what to tell them.

    When I picked Carson up from school he walked over to me, laid his head on my hip and said "I really blew it today." I said "yeah, you sorta did Buddy". He looked up at me with a huge smile on his face and said "But the rest of my day went really well..." Sigh.

    Here's hoping tomorrow is a trouble free day...
  18. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Hello and welcome. Is there any chance that you can put your son in a different kind of school? Maybe he is not the problem. Maybe he just is the way he is and needs different kind of accommodation and handling to flourish and develop. Easy to say, of course. But he needs to feel good about himself and to have positive, encouraging messages, not the ones he is presently getting from school.
  19. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Next red flag:

    <me, getting back up on soap box>

    This one, you're going to have to climb Everest for, but... I understand completely.
    Its called the "fatigue factor".
    So bear with me - the rest of you - because I know you've already heard me say this, but THIS board member hasn't, so...

    There are multiple kinds of fatigue, and probably more than we know - but here's the ones we know about...

    1) physical - that is the "I'm all worn out from loading 15 trucks with lumber" tired - muscles just won't do any more = extreme physical tired.

    2) mental - that is the "I just spent three hours writing my engineering final" tired - you could run 5 miles with no problem, but can't remember your phone number to call home for a ride... so I guess you're going for a 5-mile run.

    3) emotional - overwhelmed - most of us know about this one on some level.

    4) neuromotor - ok, probably got you on this one. What the blanketty is neuromotor fatigue? THAT is the one that is killing your son.

    Neuromotor fatigue is a form of brain tired - but not the same as exam-overload-tired. Its not from thinking - its from planning and organizing and coordinating MOVEMENT. We really don't know exactly how this all works. But we do know that the brain of people with motor skills problems like Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) must use consious thought to control movement, and must spend considerable effort to do so.

    In practical terms, this means that... there are a lot of things they CAN do, some of the time. Our son can tie a formal tie no problem first thing in the morning, given lots of time. Having to change between two band uniforms in 10 mins flat between performances, and the second one needs a tie? NOT A HOPE. He's tired, he's stressed, and he's in a rush. Can't be done. They can write, do phys ed, in fact, probably can do almost any ONE thing reasonably well if they have already learned it.

    BUT... once they have used up their neuromotor reserves, degradation sets in really fast. And then they can't.

    The pool of resources required for motor skills is not differentiated. SO... doing handwriting in first period might even be possible... but today, they have a PE special in, say, gymnastics or baseball or some other high-coordination or real-time-response scenario... so, he puts a good effort into PE (not stellar, but not bad). Next class is English - and he can't write. Teacher is going to say "yah right". Reality? HE CAN'T WRITE.

    And to make matters worse, the parts of the brain that are used by Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) people to control motor skills... are the same parts of the brain that are used for other executive functions. Ta Da! Guess what? When these kids get worn out, their behavior deteriorates rapidly as well.

    See the pattern?

    But there are NO tests for fatigue factors. You have to get an Occupational Therapist (OT) who is REALLY on your side, and then get them to evaluate and document and report on fatigue factors "as part of there clinical observations during Occupational Therapist (OT) therapy". Make appointments at various times of the day. Make sure you pick days when you KNOW he's going to be worn out - and THEN have an appointment.

    Trust me. Your kid knows he's tired. He just doesn't understand why. Start teaching him the language of tired. Physical? mental? overwhelmed? overloaded? can't make my muscles do what I need done? The more descriptive you can teach him to be, the more consistent he can be with his messages to teachers... and the more chance YOU have of negotiating the right accommodations and interventions.

    <off soap box now>

    When it comes to the IEP... you do NOT have to go full-bore on major school-based testing. I'd be tempted to sit down with the principal first, and tell him the kinds of things you are seeing as initial concerns... the need for these to be supported by the IEP process (for example, to get technology), and find out which tests the school would have to do to support those accommodations. (dysgraphia?) THEN put in the IEP request, and work together to start the ball rolling. Now you've got a basis for further testing, further accommodations as they come up. Working in parallel... you need to get MEDICAL stuff looked after - get dxes for things like Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD). The school should be able to come up with the Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) screening - get them to specifically look for auditory filtering/discrimination issues. You may need outside referals to get a diagnosis... but if the Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) says he can't hear through background noise... then maybe the class needs a sound-field system. Make this as respectful and as full of teamwork as you can get. Because if you CAN get that kind of a relationship, it is worth SO much in the long run.

    And once the accommodations make it into the IEP, they will follow him into the future.

    And now... I'm going to have to stop, because my fingers are getting twisted up... its called neuromotor fatigue. I've been at the keyboard too long today. Time for a walk!
  20. keista

    keista New Member

    Ah, yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mr Principal, you pretty much threatened to kick my son out of school, and you're now trying to imply that an IEP would be a BAD thing for him? Do you really think I just fell off a turnip truck??????????????????????

    By law, public schools are required to accommodate disabilities. Unfortunately, they are not required to make it easy.

    And I've heard that quote that Insane pulled more than once. From the outside looking in, it seems like a *don't want* but it's a CAN'T, UNABLE, INCAPABLE. I specifically had this discussion regarding son writing down his assignments. Dean was so puzzled because yes, he could read stuff on the board, he was capable of writing in his planner, but for some (still unidentified reason) son cannot write the assignment into his planner. In our district, the kids start learning this skill in the 1st grade. Son had gotten 1 on1 training for this. Still couldn't master it. That conversation was in the 7th grade. He's now in 10th and still *can't* do it. :sigh: