I am so lost, feel so alone, unsure where to turn...

[Liahona]

Oh boy, that principal really stuck his foot in his mouth and was back tracking. You see once a kid has an IEP the school can suspend them for a totoal of ten days for the whole school year then the school has to PAY for a different placement because that school can't teach them. Its called free appropriate public education. The state has to teach your kid for free and if they can't they pay someone who can. The principal told you his school could not teach your son. After your son gets an IEP you could take that statement and ask for them to pay for an alternate placement that would cost them $$$$$! He is trying to talk you out of the IEP because the 504 doesn't have the legal stuff that goes with the IEP.

Also, he can get an IEP because his behavior is disrupting the learning of others or his behavior is making it so he can't learn. They might try to talk you out having the behavior IEP because there are some jobs you can't get latter in life with that. (I think he won't be able to be a postal worker. I personally am ok if my son never delivers the mail.) I'm not sure that is even the case anymore, but some schools would try to tell you that.

After you do a certified letter asking for IEP testing they have so many days (can't remember how many maybe 60) to get all the testing done and have an IEP meeting. So if you want to get testing done by the neuropsychologist first you should be aware of the time line they have. Also the neuropsychologist testing would out "rank" their testing because the neuropsychologist has more degrees/schooling than they do. They might try to convince you other wise but a court would side with the expert that has the most advanced degrees. The school knows this.

Welcome to the board!

 

[Zardo]

An IEP is the ONLY way to support a child with these issues. By having an IEP, the Special Education team will work wiht you to support your child. When something goes wrong, they will re-convene to discuss what has been tried and what to try next. Once you get the support of that team, you will meet with people who have worked to help kids like him before. Before we went this route, all meetings at school with teachers and admins were about my kid being a behavior problem. Once we got to the support team, they shook their head and felt that he was a kid who needed support at school and that once he found succes, hopefully, the other factors would improve. You will be very surprised at the differing attitudes once you meet the Special Education team. Also, you talk about finding "a more serious learning disability", I will tell you that the ADHD/Executive Function disorder is a serious condition. There are borderline kids that are not seriously affected, but for my son, the mix of slow processing speed, poor executive functioning, and handwriting issues that very typically go along with it, and the resulting frustration of teachers who view him as disengaged has made the tradtional classroom a place where he does not feel welcome. Maybe there are other contributing factors, maybe not. But for many kids, the mixed bag of what goes along with ADHD is a significant problem. I have seen kids with other differences but no ADHD be more accepting of help as they don't have the other things that complicate progress such as slow processing or limited stamina.

 

[InsaneCdn]

the mix of slow processing speed, poor executive functioning, and handwriting issues that very typically go along with it

50% of the kids who have ADD/ADHD also have Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) - developmental coordination disorder, a problem with planning and executing motor skills essentially - and yes, handwriting is one place where it often shows up but it affects other things too.

Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) is a separate diagnosis. See www.canchild.ca

 

[TeDo]

"Carson has no problem doing the things he *wants* to do...he just doesn't *want* to do his work". While that may be partly true--it isn't that cut and dried. I REALLY think that when he is given a page with 20 questions on it that he freaks. It is overwhelming, daunting. He thinks to himself "I can't. It's too hard. I'm not going to be able to do all this, so I won't even try" and then he shuts down, crawls under his desk and sulks. But I need *something* from the doctor to help me explain it to them...because they don't seem to WANT to try to get it.

That is EXACTLY the mentality I am dealing with with our second school now. Because my difficult child can't put into words what it is that makes the work difficult for him, he doesn't try. He just "escapes" by finding a hiding place and avoiding the work. SD interpretation: "He does well when he WANTS to" or "He just doesn't follow directives". I have told school staff repeatedly to try to work WITH difficult child to find out WHY. When I do it at home, we work together to find the words and eventually get it out. When I tell the SD what difficult child has said their response is "he doesn't ever tell US that". I totally understand your frustration. don't let them off the hook and definitely get independent evaluations. School's Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation showed no problems. We are having an thorough independent one done now and SO FAR they have found visual processing delays, holds his pencil too tight, uses too much pressure when writing, oral sensory seeking, needs to fidget to help concentrate. And we aren't even done yet.