I am so mad!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Californiablonde, Feb 28, 2017.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Warning, another work rant!

    Okay so the day before Christmas break I took down all my Christmas decorations, but I did leave two snowmen on my desk because it's still winter time, and snowmen can be winter decorations, right?

    Well, turns out, not so much. A few days ago my supervisor tells me I need to get rid of the snowmen, ASAP, because certain "people" are complaining about my "Christmas decorations." I told her I keep them up at my desk because they are, in my opinion, winter decorations. She replied, "Yeah, I guess they could be for winter, but you still need to take them down." I then told her certain people need to get a life.

    She didn't respond, except to shrug her shoulders and resume staring at her computer screen. Seriously, how petty to complain about two small snowmen on MY desk! You want to know what's funny? For an entire MONTH my supervisor decked out the entire office in pink and red hearts, cupids, and xoxo's. It was literally puke city.

    It's okay for her to smother the entire office in Valentine's crap, but my snowmen ornaments are not allowed? I am so OVER this place. I can't wait to transfer to a different school. Yes, I am still looking, and not giving up hope. Some people really do need to get a life!
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2017
  2. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    CB. She's your supervisor. She told you to take down the snowmen. Don't be petty. Take down the snowmen, as you should have done immediately. Without argument or backtalk.
     
  3. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    I agree with GN but I really do relate CB. What helps me in these situations is this: In the current economic system in which I live I sell my labor for a paycheck. This is a commercial relationship not a personal one. It involves a power differential ONLY in the hours that I work, and only to a point. I am given certain protections by my union contract if I have one, and more protections by the State and Federal governments, which I need to know. Because there is recourse if my rights or person are violated.

    I do not think there is a constitutional right to snow men on desks at work. It could be a "free speech" issue, but do you want to go there? I am uncertain what exactly the law says about the right to free speech in a public place, particularly a school. I would think that there are limits.

    But more than this there is a power differential between you and your boss. By accepting the job you have agreed to accept supervision from her, in the chain of command. That is why she gets to have valentine's junk on her desk, until she is told by her supervisor to put it away. It is not about smart or stupid. It is not about right and wrong. It is the nature of the beast.

    I have learned I cannot have it both ways. One reason I left the last job is because I was verbally abused by the boss, when I was right, which he later was forced to concede. It was over an issue that was important: patient care and rights. I would never concede on such terrain.

    But I made myself face that duking it out with him would only lead to more misery for me; that I had to face the reality of the circumstance. And the reality is that I was working in a hierarchical situation that trumped right and wrong. And that if I continued there I would be responsible.

    The irony was that I was a contract employee; I paid my own malpractice insurance; the job conditions dictated that I made all work decisions and carried full autonomy and responsibility.

    So what?

    I left.

    CB. I cannot wait for you to find another position. Although there is a silver lining to the current one. Given all of the issues if they felt they could have fired you legally, they would of. They are afraid of you, CB. But that does not make it right that you suffer.
     
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Cb, all are not equal at work. In short, unless you want to get fired or make things even more uncomfortable, take down your decorations, even though its not fair. All of us, except those with high level jobs who do not have bosses have to play by the rules. Its best for you just to do it and let it go. You cant win this and mouthing off to a supervisor isnt going to make things better.

    This is not unusual in offices or among office workers, of which I was a member for decades. There is a hierarchy and the people over us get to tell us petty requests and we have to listen. Or we might be canned. They dont need a good reason to fire you. They just can and, if you are fired, you will have to fight to get unemployment insurance even though you pay for it. The work place for low and middle level employees has no dignity or choices. If you were a brain surgeon? Not the same thing. Please be smart. You need your job.

    Hugs. I know it sucks, as I always had the kind of job you have...working in offices, replaceable. It isnt really fair but it is what it is. Even an employment lawyer told me, after I was fired and not really told why, that a company can fire anyone without any reason at all and i had no recourse. It was very frustrating. My sweet husband told me not to work until i wanted to again as i was very upset. We werr not rich, but he promised we'd do ok.

    I happily quit working for ten years and raised my babies and did some foster care. And had no bosses. I loved being a full time mom. Work made me nervous. I got fired a lot due to mistakes often because of anxiety and very real and severe learning disabilities. I was so peaceful being Mom first.

    But you cant quit...i wish you could. I just hope you find a job with a nicer boss.
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2017
  5. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    I agree with the above. It is annoying as heck. But, such is life. It is hard and bizarre. But, it is a life lesson. If you can find some place in your heart, to actually find an ounce of empathy for people who find such things bothersome (yes, that's a tall order) and find some place in your brain/intellect to simply understand that this is weird...but it's simply a job...not an reflection on you and your talents, etc. And, when you go to the bank...smile smile smile. In other words, laugh all the way to the bank and cash your check with zero stress and lots of inner strength.

    PS I have a relative who works for a large corporation. So many oddities. Many find it upsetting. They are miserable each day. Maybe one might say it's easier if the pay is greater...and to a small extent it is. But, sometimes the problems are bigger and even more bizarre. The job had lots of stress and oddities, but my advise to him years ago is when these unfair weird things happen...as best as he can...let it go. When his check comes...smile all the way to the bank. Now, he is about to retire and he remembers that advice. He has enjoyed his job with little stress. Some of the things have been sooooo peculiar and sometimes unfair. He never let it bother him. Now he is retiring with great benefits and is beloved by his fellow co workers.

    PPS You may have to find another job....but until you can find one, I hope you can get to a better place within yourself so that you can have more inner peace.
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2017
  6. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    I love this.

    I think the supervisor is trapped. You on the other hand are not. She has also compromised herself greatly, I think. She is acting from this space.

    CB. You are really doing very, very well in a difficult situation. Can you see it?
     
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I found it hard to forget about bosses who would pick on me. And I had a few. But I was very sensitive. Not everyone is. I understand where cb is coming from.

    But I did what I was told and said all the nasty comebacks only in my head. And I looked for other jobs and quit when I got another one. I found it too tense to stay where I felt unwanted. I get it.
     
  8. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Now that it is officially March...how about a couple cute leprechauns and lots of shamrocks on your desk? Just kidding...

    Hang in there. Do your best. And vent here if you need to.

    Ksm
     
  9. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    I agree it seems pretty petty of her to make a big deal out of a few snowmen and can see how that would make you feel like you're in a somewhat hostile environment.

    However....I'm with the others.

    Just do what you have to do to keep peace and hopefully you will be able to transfer to a job where you feel you are a better fit.
     
  10. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    CB. You told us there were complaints, and that the supervisor said she was responding to Christmas Decorations.

    When I was a little girl we sang Christmas Carols at school which were explicitly religious. Now this is forbidden in public schools on constitutional grounds I believe. This supervisor has not shown herself to be a "profile in courage." She is a tool, an instrument of her higher ups. (I am thinking here of that new principal or vice principal whoever that is, who made you make all of those calls.) This supervisor will do what is required to keep her job and keep her good favor, from her own boss. She will not support you in issues where her own self-interest is at stake.

    For have this expectation at work sets us up. (Me too. I have been hurt a lot at work, because I was not supported by people I loved, and who I though loved me. They might have, but they put their work interest as they saw it, ahead of any feelings about me, however much I might have been the one in the right.) To the extent that I would not understand this dynamic, I suffered.

    For a long time I blamed these "friends." This thread is helping me see that we are all so different. That my own set of values and ways of being I cannot expect from others who hold their own. This extends to family, too. I had long and painful (and eventually devastating) estrangements from all of my birth family--because I insisted that they meet my values and match my commitments. Nobody did. Who lost? I did. And everybody else.
     
  11. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Such is life in an office.

    We weren't even allowed to put up the office Christmas tree this year because we have a new Governor and no one knew what he thought would be "professional" so literally ANYTHING "unprofessional" had to be taken down. Desk toys, funny photos, etc...all gone. They even had me hide my teambuilding trophy - an ugly creation made of aluminum foil, cardboard and a candy dish, but the symbol of our moral-building exercises we have been required to do every month. So it's an OFFICE trophy...and I had to put it up. I ignored them and I put up my tiny (1 foot tall) Xmas tree on my desk and if they'd said anything about it I would have screamed freedom of religion...but then I've had my job 22 1/2 years and am unlikely to get fired for something so silly.

    It happens. What a boss says goes and if they want to keep the petty people happy, so be it. If they want to paint the office pink, so be it. After all, who's going to complain about them?

    I'm sorry you work with such royal pains. But ... you have to roll with the punches.
     
  12. JRC

    JRC Active Member

    What a very, very odd thing for someone to complain to the boss about. Tiny snowmen on a desk. Go figure.

    Situations like this say more about the complainers than the "offender," of course. I would have been incredulous of the request, but simply would have complied. I mean, it's such a ridiculous issue. Who even notices what is on someone else's desk to begin with? Unless the snowmen were raising their tiny middle fingers?

    But I do agree with the ladies above. I would not have argued. Why bother?
     
  13. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    No excuse for me to be picked on, like I have repeatedly, at this job.
     
  14. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Whether or not she's picking on you, which is entirely subective on both your parts, the fact remains, she is your supervisor. You are her subordinate. So long as what she is doing isn't violating law or company policy, you have two choices: suck it up and do as you're told, or find another job.
     
  15. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    And FYI, I did take the decorations down immediately!!
     
  16. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I would like to take down this whole entire thread. Can somebody please tell me how to do it?
     
  17. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I'm glad you did. by the way. You supervisor sounds like a :censored2: on wheels. I can say she's picking on you because I don't know your actual job description, but she certainly sounds like a cow.

    I had a couple of nasty supervisors, and as a manager myself for many years, I'm sure I had a few employees who hated my guts at the same time I was reporting to directors and VPs who drove me straight up the wall as well.
     
  18. JRC

    JRC Active Member

    CB I think you should find two little leprechauns and put them on your desk. :st_patrickguy:
     
  19. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    You know, I just thought of a couple of things. First of all, remember paper weights? You do not see them any more. There was this type, that used to be filled with "snow." Would somebody "complain" about that, too?

    Second, I don't know why I did not think of it before. I bet you are right CB. It is harassment. I think she may well have lied that there were complaints...as a pretext to bug you.
    This is true. All of us, however, who have worked have been unnecessarily and unfairly picked on in the workplace and we stayed as long as we needed the income and did not have alternatives.

    When I was very young, say 20, I worked as a "mail girl" in a big CPA firm. I could not stand my boss, Miss Hedland. She was an authoritarian priss and I could not stand authority. At 6 months I gave my notice. I was going to go back to college.

    Unbeknownst to me she was preparing to fire me, before the 6 month mark so that they would not have to pay the fee to the placement agency. She just had to tell me that the reason that she was letting me go (completely unnecessary as I had already given notice) was because I was "slow" and should look for domestic work.

    What kind of sadist tells a bright, sensitive 20 year old to go get work as a domestic? A mean one.

    We tell you this not to make you feel bad, but so that you recognize it is NOT you. For a long, long time I "caught fire." I could not avoid fighting authority. A little bit, I have woken up.

    I hope you do not take down this thread! (But you can ask RB to remove your posts, I think.)
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2017
  20. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Actually I can do that. It's St. Patrick's month, and holiday appropriate. The reason why my coworkers got bent out of shape was because Christmas was over. They did not appreciate my snowmen up after the holidays. I do have a few St. Patrick's day decorations up at my home. I decorate for every holiday. I just don't have much for St. Patrick's so I am choosing not to decorate my desk this year. You better bet though, once Easter hits, I will have eggs and Easter bunnys on my desk!