I am so overly sensitive today...

buddy

New Member
warning: whiney post

I actually woke this morning in tears. Dont even remember a dream.

I cried over two face book posts today.

So , I'm trying to figure out if I am just hormonal still or if it is all finally getting to me.... I felt a little like this only in the morning the day he first started the new school. Then I fell apart but specifically over the call from the police officer from the school one day...

Today is different. I feel that overall tired/sad/tears about every single thought kind of feeling, very unlike me. This happens every once in a while of course to me and probably everyone....it never stays more than a day or two but it still stinks to go through it.

I was feeling pretty confident that nothing is going to come of the complaint from psycho but now I am having a hard time pushing that out of my mind.

I got all of Q's therapies rescheduled for the closer site and got busing arranged then got an email saying to make sure I include the transportation director in any bus changes for Q. I am so good about making sure everyone knows abou things that I had emailed the schedule to the school and they forwarded it to our district who I suppose assumed I had not already called busing. NO BIG DEAL but I took it so personally, like people were thinking I made a mistake, and OH MY WORD even if that had happened who the heck cares??? It is just my mood.

Then the teacher casually says that schedule sounds grueling and I am feeling super defensive. Like he is criticizing me. I think he has no clue how things go if we dont have something scheduled. How Q refuses to come in the house, causes a scene (which I wont say because I dont want any negative notes if he has to go to court, sigh), and I have to stay and play, coach all social interactions for hours and hours. now THAT is grueling.

As it worked out...here is our schedule

1. I pick him up
2. we get a snack
3. we go to the therapy center for one or two hours
4. we go home.

Some days I bring him home, some days Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) gets him and they can go do whatever htey want like he has done for years and years and LOVES.

Same schedule every day but I suppose because one day it is Occupational Therapist (OT) and one day it is pt etc... it looks like a ton. Compared to my nieces and nephews who have tons of homework, athletics, clubs, gymnastics, dance, sleep overs, play dates, lessons, etc... I think one thing a day is not much.

For my typical family members free play and free time is relaxing and fun.. for us it is trauma and stress so this is far less grueling than that.

I can't believe how sensitive I feel about it. But I was feeling sensitive even before the email.

I need to shake it.
 
T

TeDo

Guest
I hear you. Yes, you're probably hormonal ADD in the emotions you've been putting on the shelf to a large extent. This is your brains way of saying "THE SHELF IS FULL! CLEAR IT OFF!" It's okay. Things will be better once your brain acclimates to the current situation. Consider it a form of PTSD. LOL After all you've been through, it's NORMAL.

{{{{(((HUGS)))}}}}
 
S

Signorina

Guest
Oh Buddy...my guess is that it's a little bit of hormones and a little bit of relief and a little bit of emotions bubbling over. I mean - you finally got Q settled AFAIK, in the right school, in the best place and the "what ifs", "how", "please let him get in" ... part is over. And you still have a lot on your plate. So maybe since the big gulp is swallowed - you actually have the freedom to express yourself???

I don't know if I am making sense - but I had a big ugly cry a few weeks ago at the most unusual time...so...I think your tears finally found an outlet?
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
warning: potential non-sensical post.

Dear Madame,

Do soft, gray, furry kittens seem to just aggrivate you to no end? Do smiling people on the street make you want to slap duct tape over their mouth to cover their enormously large toothy grins? Does the banter between two happy people seem to completly unhinge you at the very core of your existance? DO you long for the days when you could just pull out your trusty six shooter from your holster, aim and fire? Look at a grizzly bear and scare him into the hills of Montana or perhaps curdle the milk in a pail on Old man Taskers farm just for kicks?

Well fear not my boo-hoo poo-poo. Dr. Stars bein Meaner than a Snake Oil medicine wagon is pulling into town and you are the lucky first customer to partake of the fineries of just such an elixir that will STIR your inner beast, quell the tears that well up inside, MAKE A REAL man out of you er......well so to speak.....and help you grow ahhh tomatos if the application is watered down with our chart of formulation so that you don't grow em too big, or too bold.

Yes maam - you can go from whimpy, whimpy, whimpy to SHERAH in one gulp - and then tackle those emotions or stuff em, or just plain pick up your telephone and tell the whole world to bite you right on the - OKay moving on.......SO little girl - PUT away that handkerchief, and dry up those tears.......step right up and git yerself a bottle of Dr. Stars I am meaner than a Snake Oil medicine and elixir TODAY - Only two bits while supplies last....

and well it was either that or tell you while you're all sensitive and crying, and being sad that you're feet stink and I don't like your mailbox. (That way you're offended instead of upset and have something to be angry over and the mailbox thing? Well that's just to keep both of us wondering - have no idea if I like your mail box or not. Now neither do you) But as far as those dingalings at the school go? YOU GOT ELIXIR -----baby....DOWN THE HATCH.....(um that's milk in your fridge darlin' and you just have to close your eyes and pretend you hear me pushin snake oil from the back of a buckboard wagon for the rest of it)

Hugs & Love
(yeah I got nuthin' tonight)
Star
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
Probably a combo of hormones and everything else. I personally think you're entitled to a day. Two if needed.

If you get a chance this evening fill the tub with nice hot water, bubbles if you have them, and soak a while. Or dig out a good fav movie, pop some popcorn (or treat yourself to your fav snack) and hunker down and enjoy it.

((hugs))
 

keista

New Member
Everyone's entitled to a healthy helping of pity party now an then. The stuff you deal with on a daily basis? Most ppl would be ordering their own caskets.


((((HUGS))))
 

StressedM0mma

Active Member
Buddy, you are more than entitled to have a few days like this. Hugs. I bet it is your body just releasing all of th estress and worry that you have been having to deal with for the past few months.
 

recoveringenabler

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Buddy, you sweet, dear, kind, caring Mom, you have a HUGE heart and so much empathy for everyone.......and I think when our hearts are that big and that compassionate, we FEEL so much more and sometimes you just gotta let off some of the steam, like a pressure cooker. Let yourself feel sensitive, let yourself cry, it'll pass, it always does. And, if all else fails, eat chocolate.............Big hugs to you Buddy, BIG GIANT HUGS.
 

buddy

New Member
They say he did well at school ...Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker said he did well ...he got in my car and started raging. Had a billion questions and no matter what I started to say he started yelling liar! Never wanted an answer just wanted to vent on me. Took an hour to go 1mile because I won't drive like that. He calmed I came up to my tub. Now he is all happy and normal and I'm wiped out. The blurting I usually let roll off hurt my feelings. So ...still in my whiny mood. Your posts are the bright spot in my day. Thanks for listening and letting me fall down for a day or two.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
Oh, Buddy.
If I were closer, I'd pop over tomorrow and give you a nice back rub. And share a cuppa with something sweet.

When we turn a corner, our bodies want to stop and catch up from all the stress. But... the "corner" isn't always the "end" of stress, even if it does result in a reduction.

And then our brains and our bodies rebel. Logically.

But somehow we go on. Catch some refueling on the fly.
{{hugs}}

This too shall pass.

And the whole thing with Psycho? Maybe, in stead of "nothing", something GOOD will come out of it. For you and Q - not just for the rest of the world.
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
I'd share a cuppa snake oil ..........

I aint rubbin NUTHIN....specially that mailbox or those feet.

Hope you're feeling better today.
 

buddy

New Member
We only have those large complex mailboxes that u need a key to open the tiny door. I hate it. I have wide but nice enough feet! LOL. I am sneezing like crazy today but my mood is much better. Still not myself but no tears so on the upswing! I wish we all lived close and could have regular mom's day out sessions! But this is a great "instead "
...love you all.
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
You know - DF and I took all the scrap metal we had in the yard via our trailer today to the scrap place. We're going to TRY to make the mortgage payment without help. I don't like the idea of a lien. While the thought of someone paying my mortgage sounds good - too good to be true just resonates. SO - I got on the back and started chunking things like refrigerators, and file cabinets and pipes and all this other bed frame junk and I'll tell you something - All the weepy - woe is me....OMG I need to sit and have a girl minute - went with the junk that was being shot off the back of that trailer at about 14 mph. Some guys pulled up next to us and I didn't really notice but they struck up a conversation wtih DF and the crux of it was - "Wow yeah - need to bring my old lady down here too when she's PMSing" ..and DF said NOTHING other than "She's a dandy" He told me about it after the fact but he'd NEVER EVER refer to me as PMSing - or an old lady...way more sense than the average bear and even more respect - plus if you saw a woman toss a full sized fridge off the back of a car trailer on her own - you'd keep your mouth shut too - he said. LOL. And with that - we put another $140 in the bank and THAT made my spirits go up. SO now I want to just find scrap stuff. I swear it wasnt hardly anything on that trailer - and we got ALL that money. WOW. I could do THAT all day. Easy peasy. DF said "NO THANK YOU" lol.

And you - with the gang mail boxes and the sexy wide feet - GO easy on the snake oil. HUGS Was just thinking about you today -
 

buddy

New Member
Star, who buys the scrap... was it stuff you had in your own yard? I am just curious, I would never do it because I have no truck or anything but it sounds so cool, very resourceful. That is a good day's pay.
 

buddy

New Member
thanks all! and I am officially sick. Just a cold but on the way home from dropping Q off my head was so painful I started to get nauseous. YUCK, so I am lying here until I have to go get him for therapy. Feel way better lying down. I took a benadryl to help with the stuffiness and nausea. Seems to be helping. I really can't complain, I rarely get even a cold.
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
There is a place here called CMC. Someting metals Recycling place. Recycling places are ALL over in COlumbia, SC. There are places that take just cans, and places that take ALL metal. The place DF goes to takes everything but tires, microwaves, - they have a list outside the gate. But you drive in over the scale, get weighed. Even if you are in a car - they weigh the car. Then you go to the back lot, unload and come back and drive over the scale again. The ticket tells how much scrap metal you had. Then you get prices for different things - Shred only (just junk) or copper (you have to have a license and be registered with the sheriffs dept to do that now) or if you have aluminum cans you just go right to the scales and dump them on the scales. Engine parts are weighed differently - Or brass - it's all very organized. For a smelly place (due to pooling water) it's actually very busy and organized. We have a scrap car too and that is a whole differnt game. They go over the scale, and are now worth between $350 - $500.00. I've had this SUV for about 8 years and I've take all the parts off it I can. It's really junk - so Now it's the mortgage payment and part of the light bill. The backyard looks great. OMG I'm so happy AND the neighbor lady saw us taking a load of junk and GAVE us her roof. I nearly passed out. She said everyone and their scrapper brother has asked for it - and we've never asked her for squat. Just watched out for her and never said boo. (Well she did make mention I like Aretha) -Rats...lol. She remembered. lol. I can't imagine what it's going to pay, but It's heavy. It's corrugated steel. HAPPY DANCE.

It's somethhing you and the boy can do too - exercise, helping the planet - green footprint - Collect cans. He gets to smash them with his foot - And the treasure hunt is fun.....and dump out the juice - and put them in a bag - the walk is good - makes them tired. And you get extra money. I used the first batch of cans after I got laid off to pay for LC's (foster dog) vet care. Now some dingaling comes down the road at 5:10 am in a truck with a pinchy stick and leans out the window and gets all the cans. I've had words like -HEY the cans in front of my house are mine - and if youre going to take them - TAKE THE TRASH or get lost. He's a mean old crab. He still takes my cans and I'm not getting up at 4:45 to beat him. (I mean to the cans, not with a stick) although there are days that's a consideration.) Casper - my Am bulldog loves to go look for beer......cans. Lush. But we salvage cans all the time. I even find myself picking them out of other bins. If no one is going to recycle them - ask first. But no ones ever told me o that doesn't salvage. And my kids were nuts for it - They loved the extra money. Even a dollar a week is a matchbox car. And you can usually GET 2 full bags in a car trunk.
 
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