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I AM SO SAD. MY DAUGHTER HATES ME.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 724491" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>This disowning parent is new and epidemic with adult children. Many therapists encourage no contact and our adult children feel more validated in this mean decision. Family doesn't matter??? Then she shouldn't ask for anything from you. Hmmmm.</p><p></p><p>I learned about it in detail about this "family doesn't matter" when a child we adopted at six walked out of our lives fifteen years ago. In fact, I needed two years of intensive therapy, a support group, and I had to grieve. I hope it never goes this long for you. There are certain life issues that causes estrangement like this. Divorce causes breaks with our more immature adult children. Our finding a new partner can. THEIR marriage to somebody who doesn't like us or wants our child to themselves can. Usually we are never given a reason. The election was contentious...but she took it too far. I hate and fear Trump. No secret. But my oldest voted for him. We agreed to disagree and don't discuss politics.</p><p></p><p>It is not your fault. It is more about her. And, yes, they rewrite history and it seems this horror show happens to those of us who let our kids know how much they mean to us.</p><p></p><p>I found the best comfort was gratitude and much contact with those loved ones who are nice to me...my dear husband and other four kids. In time, I grieved it and got over it and am doing well. It wasn't worth the abuse I got when I tried to mend things or to at least know what I did. But I just heard "You know" or silence. Until there was just silence.</p><p></p><p>Recently I inherited money, we redid our will, and he is cut out. He is no longer acting like a son. For fifteen years not a word and I never saw his children. I suspect his wife started it and he complied. It's on him.</p><p></p><p>I doubt it will come to this for you, but I just wanted you to know you are not alone being abused by an adult child.</p><p></p><p>My heart breaks for you. Lean on your kind loved ones. Don't blame you for her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 724491, member: 1550"] This disowning parent is new and epidemic with adult children. Many therapists encourage no contact and our adult children feel more validated in this mean decision. Family doesn't matter??? Then she shouldn't ask for anything from you. Hmmmm. I learned about it in detail about this "family doesn't matter" when a child we adopted at six walked out of our lives fifteen years ago. In fact, I needed two years of intensive therapy, a support group, and I had to grieve. I hope it never goes this long for you. There are certain life issues that causes estrangement like this. Divorce causes breaks with our more immature adult children. Our finding a new partner can. THEIR marriage to somebody who doesn't like us or wants our child to themselves can. Usually we are never given a reason. The election was contentious...but she took it too far. I hate and fear Trump. No secret. But my oldest voted for him. We agreed to disagree and don't discuss politics. It is not your fault. It is more about her. And, yes, they rewrite history and it seems this horror show happens to those of us who let our kids know how much they mean to us. I found the best comfort was gratitude and much contact with those loved ones who are nice to me...my dear husband and other four kids. In time, I grieved it and got over it and am doing well. It wasn't worth the abuse I got when I tried to mend things or to at least know what I did. But I just heard "You know" or silence. Until there was just silence. Recently I inherited money, we redid our will, and he is cut out. He is no longer acting like a son. For fifteen years not a word and I never saw his children. I suspect his wife started it and he complied. It's on him. I doubt it will come to this for you, but I just wanted you to know you are not alone being abused by an adult child. My heart breaks for you. Lean on your kind loved ones. Don't blame you for her. [/QUOTE]
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I AM SO SAD. MY DAUGHTER HATES ME.
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