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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 650093" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Tess, I am so sorry. You're not a fool, like others have said. You are a person who wants to believe and who has hope. That is never a bad thing.</p><p></p><p>Feeling empathy, excitement, compassion, hope, disappointment---the full range of emotion---is what makes us fully human. </p><p></p><p>The problem is, you are dealing with someone who may not have the same reaction to events, like you said, if she is borderline or sociopathic, you're dealing with someone who doesn't and can't have the same reaction you do to life and life's twists and turns.</p><p></p><p>This situation sounds like another one you somehow, someway, someday, are going to have to accept. Just like you have worked hard to accept your daughter's situation, and to take care of yourself, and set boundaries, you will have to accept whatever she decides to do.</p><p></p><p>I know you don't want her to have an abortion, and I understand that. Having said that, bringing your grandchild into her life and home is likely to come with more and more layers of hurt and pain for all. </p><p></p><p>I know you know that.</p><p></p><p>Today, please try to do something kind and nice for yourself---something big or something small. A nap, a walk, a conversation with a trusted friend, lying down and crying for an hour, flowers from the grocery store. Ask yourself what you need---right now---and create some time and space to provide that for yourself.</p><p></p><p>It is remarkably healing. And please keep us posted about YOU and how you are feeling and thinking. We are here for you. This is a very tough time and you have our support.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs, Tess.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 650093, member: 17542"] Tess, I am so sorry. You're not a fool, like others have said. You are a person who wants to believe and who has hope. That is never a bad thing. Feeling empathy, excitement, compassion, hope, disappointment---the full range of emotion---is what makes us fully human. The problem is, you are dealing with someone who may not have the same reaction to events, like you said, if she is borderline or sociopathic, you're dealing with someone who doesn't and can't have the same reaction you do to life and life's twists and turns. This situation sounds like another one you somehow, someway, someday, are going to have to accept. Just like you have worked hard to accept your daughter's situation, and to take care of yourself, and set boundaries, you will have to accept whatever she decides to do. I know you don't want her to have an abortion, and I understand that. Having said that, bringing your grandchild into her life and home is likely to come with more and more layers of hurt and pain for all. I know you know that. Today, please try to do something kind and nice for yourself---something big or something small. A nap, a walk, a conversation with a trusted friend, lying down and crying for an hour, flowers from the grocery store. Ask yourself what you need---right now---and create some time and space to provide that for yourself. It is remarkably healing. And please keep us posted about YOU and how you are feeling and thinking. We are here for you. This is a very tough time and you have our support. Warm hugs, Tess. [/QUOTE]
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