I am thinking about surprising difficult children with a dog.

[susiestar]

CB, can you afford the vet care for any animal? This cat may refuse to use the litter box from the other cat - it isn't uncommon. But of course boxes are pretty cheap.

Right now there is a LOT going on. I doubt you will lose custody, but if you do, who takes care of the pet? Pet ownership won't get your difficult children to do chores. It will just be 1 more thing to fight about. MANY cats from shelters/rescues need some vet care when they come home. Actually it isn't uncommon for pets from any shelter. What are you going to do if the kitten needs a vet? You cannot afford a crate for a dog, how will you pay for a vet visit and medications?

Yes, reputable shelters usually have healthy animals, but even they make mistakes or the pet is exposed to something in your home and then needs a vet. It happens.

This sounds like a terribly impulsive decision made on emotional grounds because you are afraid you will lose custody of your children to your ex. It does NOT sound like soemthing yo have a plan for, or are in any way ready to do.

Have you spoken to your landlord about pet rent? about the pet deposit? Any other fees/costs? Did you know that VERY few apartments iwll permit a dog to be outside unattended even on a patio - not for ANY length of time? If you get a dog then you MUST have each of the kids go through obedience training with the dog. You need this also. It teaches YOU to handle the dog appropriately and is CRUCIAL.

Right now you are living in a one bedroom apartment with 2 teenagers. This might be okay when kids are younger, but yours are in/near puberty and it CAN raise questions. I know there are places where if you have children of the opposite sex they MUST each have their own bedrooms. In some cases this is only after puberty but in others it is enforced with kids of all ages.

I know how easy it is to fall in love with an animal, to love them completely. I know how comforting they are, esp when yo think you may lose everything that matters to you. You would be far better off in the long run to find an apartment for all 3 of you to live in comfortably, maybe even in the same complex, but certainly in the same school district and close tow here you are now. THAT would help with upcoming custody issues and a pet might make it hard to provide that home. Having the 3 of you all in the same 1 bedroom apt is one of a very few things your husband has on his side in a custody case, I think. Esp as at least difficult child 1 MUST be allowed to address the court per the laws on the sites I sent on your other thread. At ages 11 and 14, the ids MUST be provided privacy as they are going through all of the changes in their bodies. It would be far better to use the increased chld support for that than for a pet.

NOT to say that pets are not amazing and wonderful esp when adopted. Just saying that this seems like not a great time to adopt an animal - esp as yoru e could say "see? she got a pet before seh got the kids their own rooms." Take things 1 step at a time, in order of the top priorities.

 

[susiestar]

I am wrong about the laws, at least in CA. I know in Hamilton County, OH and the surrounding counties, that male and female children CANNOT share a bedroom because quite a few friends have had it be an issue in custody cases.

But it is NOT a state or federal law, but I would be shocked if the social worker(s) involved did not make note of it with both kids being in/near puberty age. The judge probably would take it into consideration on some level, esp if it bugges the social worker.

 

[donna723]

I hope you don't take this the wrong way but if you can't afford to buy a crate, it doesn't really sound like you can afford to take care of a pet right now. When you adopt a pet, they should become a member of the family and you should be prepared to care for them no matter what happens. They get sick sometimes, they get hurt, they get old, and they need to be cared for. And if you can't do that, you really shouldn't be getting a dog or a cat. They don't have to have the most expensive food but they need GOOD decent food. They need shots and flea medications and heartworm medications and worm medications and licenses ... I don't have a lot of money but I've had to pay for spays and neuters, broken legs, eye problems, tooth extractions, and even a doggie mastectomy! I have one that is ten now, had her since she was 8 weeks old. And now she has allergies, autoimmune issues, dental problems, eye problems, and a thyroid deficiency. On her good days (meaning when she's not sick with something else) she takes six different prescription medications that cost about $100 a month. But that's the commitment I made to her when I got her when she was just a baby, we're in it for the long haul. If you really can't make that commitment, you should maybe wait until things are a little better before getting a pet.

 

[Californiablonde]

I cannot afford a crate right now because I looked online and they cost around $200. I already talked to my apartment manager and the pet deposit is $400. I have the $400 plus the $100 for the adoption fee. The adoption fee includeds spay or neuter, shots, and any medications the pet may need. $500 is what I planned on spending and it's what I have to work with until my next paycheck in two weeks. I do not have another $200 to spend on a crate right now. I have the initial $500 to spend and that's what I am going to do. I can easily afford vet bills with my income, especially since our rent just dropped down $200 a month and I will be getting another extra $250 or so in child support. I have more than enough to pay for a pet and all the necessesities. I am not getting a cat to teach my kids responisibilities. I was in sole charge of feeding and changing the litter box for our other cat and it's what I intend to do with this one as well. I have no problems caring for a pet on my own. As a matter of fact, I'd prefer it. As far as the sharing rooms thing goes, my daughter and I share the bedroom and my son has the livingroom. It may not be ideal but it works for us. Had I known I was going to get more child support I would have kept our two bedroom but at the time I didn't think I would be receiving any more money. Now we are locked into this place for eleven more months. We will be moving to a bigger place when the lease is up.

 

[donna723]

What kind of crate cost $200???? Mine have the medium sized heavy plastic crates from Walmart and I think I paid around $40 each for them! My bigger dog has the same crate but in the HUGE size and, if I remember right, it was around $60-something. The same kind of crate runs $20-$30 more if you buy it in a pet shop, but they're basically the same crate.

 

[InsaneCdn]

There's better crates than that... we've gone away from the plastic ones, to "wire"... as long as the dog isn't the escape artist type, lots of dogs like to be able look out, have lots of air, etc. Ours came with a plastic tray for a floor - we toss an old blanket down at one end, food and water bowls at the other... our dogs LOVE them. Here, the plastic-type are in the $200-400 range... and the wire ones go for $60-100... BEFORE going on sale. Get it oversized a bit, though - ours are 2x bigger than needed, so they have half for a "bedroom" and half for a "kitchen". If you're crate-training and don't want accidents, these all come with a divider, so you can restrict them to the "bedroom"...

 

[Californiablonde]

The crates I looked at were at a pet store. The highest was $450. They did have really small ones for less but I wouldn't feel right keeping a dog confined in such a small place for longer than eight hours.

 

[InsaneCdn]

This is similar to the style we have, but we have the 2-door model (door on side and on one end)

http://www.petland.com/dog/dog-kenn...stages-single-door-crate-black-medium-30.html

I picked this pet store to show you, because they are in both Canada and US.