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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
I am worried.....
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 628519" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>TL, I think not hearing from them when they have a "next step" like a trip to Drug Court is progress. It's progress for them, progress for us when we resist the temptation to contact them.</p><p></p><p>Silence is golden. No news is good news.</p><p></p><p>We have to learn what to do with ourselves during the silence. We aren't used to it at first. We don't know how to fill it up, except with constant worry about them when we aren't hearing from them. And then constant dealing with them when we are.</p><p></p><p>The operative words there are: them.</p><p></p><p>It needs to be a lot more about us. Once our children are adults, it's time to start turning the focus back to us. Our PCs. Our difficult children. </p><p></p><p>That's what letting go and letting them be adults is all about. </p><p></p><p>So, when this starts to happen, let's figure out how to fill up the space that letting go creates. There is a great big world out there! There is a lot for us to focus on to be happy. </p><p></p><p>Let's start to make a plan for ourselves that doesn't have our kids' names anywhere in the plan. And every day, let's practice.</p><p></p><p>That is the pathway to a better life, regardless. </p><p></p><p>Hugs for you today. I hope it can be a great day!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 628519, member: 17542"] TL, I think not hearing from them when they have a "next step" like a trip to Drug Court is progress. It's progress for them, progress for us when we resist the temptation to contact them. Silence is golden. No news is good news. We have to learn what to do with ourselves during the silence. We aren't used to it at first. We don't know how to fill it up, except with constant worry about them when we aren't hearing from them. And then constant dealing with them when we are. The operative words there are: them. It needs to be a lot more about us. Once our children are adults, it's time to start turning the focus back to us. Our PCs. Our difficult children. That's what letting go and letting them be adults is all about. So, when this starts to happen, let's figure out how to fill up the space that letting go creates. There is a great big world out there! There is a lot for us to focus on to be happy. Let's start to make a plan for ourselves that doesn't have our kids' names anywhere in the plan. And every day, let's practice. That is the pathway to a better life, regardless. Hugs for you today. I hope it can be a great day! [/QUOTE]
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I am worried.....
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