So..............here is my long vent. There is a girl that I was trying, as her manager, to counsel on poor work performance. She blew up at me and stormed out of the store. The next day, the actual store manager decided that we needed to talk with her, as him being the "mediator" and with the intent being "conflict resolution" per my companies protocol. Ummm.....I don't remember doing anything wrong??? And I need a mediator? But because she had a problem. Umm - OK. So I apologized, with everything I could muster - and then asked her how I could be a better communicator for her to be able to really here what I am trying to say. We talk for a bit - and I say something about the company needing her to be at a different level with her work ethic. She blows up again. Red faced, clenched fists, spittle. I, again, sit there flabbergasted - and my manager says, "well, Willow, maybe level is not the right word exactly. X, what Willow probably means is blah, blah, blah." OK. I bite my cheek, literally until it bleeds, so I do not loose it. Another 2 rounds of this scenario, and I just shut up, and proceed to bite the end off a bright pink high liter - while nodding, trying to smile, and agreeing with whatever the 2 of them said. The minute it ended I went to my car and sobbed. Big, convulsive sobs. Not really tears - just big heaving sobs. It was horrible. I am worried that - A) I am so much more emotional than I used to be. I really thought I was just going to burst into tears and lose my ****ing mind. It scared me. B) I know I felt unbelievably emotional because I felt demeaned, unsupported - and is if I was getting in trouble for something I did wrong (although I did nothing wrong) in front of not just a peer, but my employee. C)This girl literally hates me. HATES me. And I have no idea why. The resolution to the situation is that "she will do what I say because I am her boss." But there was not love in that statement, obviously. At the end she turns to me, and says, I would appreciate it, if when you talk to me you use " I statements". Uh, what are we in a therapy session??? I went back to my manager, and told him how this all made me feel. He apologized and told me that I was a great leader, and communicator, and that obviously this girl really, really does not like me, although he could not figure out why. Um OK........then why did you tell me I was "not using the right words" in front of her, and placate her with whatever she wanted to hear? He answered me in another apology, and a convoluted answer - and then told me to choose every word I use with her very carefully, and it should not be a problem. Just give me a gun! Choose every word carefully? What should I do, run my words by the local psychiatrist for screening? I mean........I did not tell her to jump off a cliff, or call her names, nor was I even rude or my tone abrasive. One of the words I used that made her mad was when I told her she was not being a "team player" when she goofs off all day. My manager, was like, well maybe we should not use that word either Willow......... So now, I am going to go close the store tonight with this gem of a person. And I just want to throw something. I need nothing else to repress, I really don't. And I don't need to feel emotionally threatened or bullied in my work place, as I already do at home with difficult child. I really don't. I am so, so disappointed. And yes, this is the same place, where last week I had to fire someone and he threatened to physically harm me. And you know what? This is supposed to be one of the best companies in America to work for. Sooooooo dissapointed, and sad. If you got this far - thanks for listening.