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I called 911 last week re my 20 yo. Looking for support and suggestions going forward
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<blockquote data-quote="Ascending" data-source="post: 762470" data-attributes="member: 29778"><p>I am a 60 year old Mom with some disabilities including currently on crutches. </p><p>My difficult child is a 20 year old son. He was with me from age 5, and I adopted him when he was 7. He is my biological cousin - both his birth parents are dead. His birth mother died shortly after his birth. His father died when he was around 17 or so. </p><p></p><p>He has been using drugs, a number of things probably. Started as vaping while that was a big thing at his high school. Weed, probably a variety of party drugs. And a particular problem seems to be hallucinogenic mushrooms which have resulted in, well, hallucinations. </p><p>He may have some problems that he was “self medicating”. Emotional health type that is.</p><p></p><p>He is very manipulative (uses woe is me, guilting, and his huge numbers of adverse childhood events as part of manipulation such that I didn’t realize how much I was being manipulated until I “woke up to it” — really not recognizing the extreme manipulation till after violence and destruction got to calling 911 level for me.</p><p></p><p>He has No job. Never really has had. </p><p>And he considered being asked to help wash dishes to be child abuse. Answer to helping with anything as an adult here in recent times has usually been no or hell no. Though rarely he would do something like help get garbage out or load or unload dishwasher or something like that. Once maybe a year or so ago we worked together to change a light switch out. That was the last positive cooperative moment I can recall currently. </p><p></p><p>He had some money from his biological father dying, and my help to achieve him inheriting it despite adoption - maybe an error in retrospect- which he has probably pretty much blown through, likely on drugs and stuff. It did get him a nice car, but could also have been for a down payment on a property or buying a business ... or something... </p><p></p><p>I was getting more and more like the apocryphal frog in boiling water who doesn’t realize its situation and trying to be loving, supportive, understanding as he got worse and worse and more and more manipulative.</p><p></p><p> Violence and destruction and my fear level led to my calling 911 a week ago as I write this. </p><p></p><p> He is now not here physically since then, but not officially moved out yet. I am still paying for various things like his car insurance and cellphone plan. </p><p></p><p>The law enforcement responders said I could get a restraining order, but I didn’t go to that. And pray it won’t be needed.</p><p></p><p>I found this website searching for information on ascending out of this situation well.</p><p></p><p>I found a book called In Sheep’s Clothing which has been a huge help</p><p></p><p>Had already talked with NAMI in weeks before 911 call</p><p></p><p>I would like to find a Narcotics Anonymous for family of addicts support group </p><p></p><p>Suggestions? Thoughts? </p><p></p><p>I have a current text message from him which I would appreciate suggestions about as to response (next) post for that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ascending, post: 762470, member: 29778"] I am a 60 year old Mom with some disabilities including currently on crutches. My difficult child is a 20 year old son. He was with me from age 5, and I adopted him when he was 7. He is my biological cousin - both his birth parents are dead. His birth mother died shortly after his birth. His father died when he was around 17 or so. He has been using drugs, a number of things probably. Started as vaping while that was a big thing at his high school. Weed, probably a variety of party drugs. And a particular problem seems to be hallucinogenic mushrooms which have resulted in, well, hallucinations. He may have some problems that he was “self medicating”. Emotional health type that is. He is very manipulative (uses woe is me, guilting, and his huge numbers of adverse childhood events as part of manipulation such that I didn’t realize how much I was being manipulated until I “woke up to it” — really not recognizing the extreme manipulation till after violence and destruction got to calling 911 level for me. He has No job. Never really has had. And he considered being asked to help wash dishes to be child abuse. Answer to helping with anything as an adult here in recent times has usually been no or hell no. Though rarely he would do something like help get garbage out or load or unload dishwasher or something like that. Once maybe a year or so ago we worked together to change a light switch out. That was the last positive cooperative moment I can recall currently. He had some money from his biological father dying, and my help to achieve him inheriting it despite adoption - maybe an error in retrospect- which he has probably pretty much blown through, likely on drugs and stuff. It did get him a nice car, but could also have been for a down payment on a property or buying a business ... or something... I was getting more and more like the apocryphal frog in boiling water who doesn’t realize its situation and trying to be loving, supportive, understanding as he got worse and worse and more and more manipulative. Violence and destruction and my fear level led to my calling 911 a week ago as I write this. He is now not here physically since then, but not officially moved out yet. I am still paying for various things like his car insurance and cellphone plan. The law enforcement responders said I could get a restraining order, but I didn’t go to that. And pray it won’t be needed. I found this website searching for information on ascending out of this situation well. I found a book called In Sheep’s Clothing which has been a huge help Had already talked with NAMI in weeks before 911 call I would like to find a Narcotics Anonymous for family of addicts support group Suggestions? Thoughts? I have a current text message from him which I would appreciate suggestions about as to response (next) post for that. [/QUOTE]
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I called 911 last week re my 20 yo. Looking for support and suggestions going forward
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