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I called 911 last week re my 20 yo. Looking for support and suggestions going forward
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 762673" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>We tend to want to be kind to those who appreciate it and give kindness back to nice lived ones. Bet that your friends husband and son do lots around the house to help her...maybe man chores if they are more traditional.</p><p></p><p>Most of our adult kids are actually abusive to us. If our spouses did to us what these kids do, we would seek ways to leave or else some of us would leave right away. Domestic abuse is the same heinous act even if our child does it. I did not want to think so, but eventually I got so sick and tired of it and so mentally worn out that it was either let go or die and die alone. Kay chased everyone away. So I fought for myself. I no longer allow abuse in my life. At all.</p><p></p><p>I dont mean to be harsh, but you probably already know that cruelty to animals is a serious trait of psychopaths. Most serial killers did it to animals first...whether harming or killing. And animals are living beings. It is not okay to harm them.</p><p> in my opinion you probably should remove your pets if your son is there. I am a huge animal lover and did not own pets after a while when Kay was home. If they got in her way, she would kick them mightily and even pick up the cat and throw her on the couch. Terrified her. The pets lived in fear and hid from Kay until they were removed to relatives homes. I caught her trying to squeeze a hamster to death when she was little and was horrified. We gave the hamster away and I read about the danger of a child hurting animals, what it meant. I did not want to believe it so I got a dog and cat later on and was sorry. No excuse for Kay. She is my daughter but us very challenged when it comes to empathy. That's a dangerous trait</p><p></p><p>in my opinion you need to assess honestly if your son is a possible threat to your pets and to you. Some of our adult children, who may be young emotionally, are physically strong and mean. It is harmful to us to sugar coat potential violence in our adult kids. Sometimes it is dangerous for these types of adult kids to live with us. in my opinion it helps to find help for ourselves so that we learn when it's unsafe to not let go and often we need to stop feeling like our messed up adult kids are still little children that need a mommy. They are way beyond the help we can give to a small child and are capable of going to resources on their own if they want to truly get help. We certainly don't need to buy them new clothes or wash their clothes or bring them meals....there is Food Share, Welfare, thrift shops and mental health services that are cheap. Rehabs too. What happens when we are gone?</p><p></p><p>We can't fix them. Only they can. Our other kids, our spouse, and.our pets in my opinion should not be put in danger because our adult kids make us feel guilty...while they abuse us. Too many of us fall for that. Until we can't anymore.</p><p></p><p>Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 762673, member: 1550"] We tend to want to be kind to those who appreciate it and give kindness back to nice lived ones. Bet that your friends husband and son do lots around the house to help her...maybe man chores if they are more traditional. Most of our adult kids are actually abusive to us. If our spouses did to us what these kids do, we would seek ways to leave or else some of us would leave right away. Domestic abuse is the same heinous act even if our child does it. I did not want to think so, but eventually I got so sick and tired of it and so mentally worn out that it was either let go or die and die alone. Kay chased everyone away. So I fought for myself. I no longer allow abuse in my life. At all. I dont mean to be harsh, but you probably already know that cruelty to animals is a serious trait of psychopaths. Most serial killers did it to animals first...whether harming or killing. And animals are living beings. It is not okay to harm them. in my opinion you probably should remove your pets if your son is there. I am a huge animal lover and did not own pets after a while when Kay was home. If they got in her way, she would kick them mightily and even pick up the cat and throw her on the couch. Terrified her. The pets lived in fear and hid from Kay until they were removed to relatives homes. I caught her trying to squeeze a hamster to death when she was little and was horrified. We gave the hamster away and I read about the danger of a child hurting animals, what it meant. I did not want to believe it so I got a dog and cat later on and was sorry. No excuse for Kay. She is my daughter but us very challenged when it comes to empathy. That's a dangerous trait in my opinion you need to assess honestly if your son is a possible threat to your pets and to you. Some of our adult children, who may be young emotionally, are physically strong and mean. It is harmful to us to sugar coat potential violence in our adult kids. Sometimes it is dangerous for these types of adult kids to live with us. in my opinion it helps to find help for ourselves so that we learn when it's unsafe to not let go and often we need to stop feeling like our messed up adult kids are still little children that need a mommy. They are way beyond the help we can give to a small child and are capable of going to resources on their own if they want to truly get help. We certainly don't need to buy them new clothes or wash their clothes or bring them meals....there is Food Share, Welfare, thrift shops and mental health services that are cheap. Rehabs too. What happens when we are gone? We can't fix them. Only they can. Our other kids, our spouse, and.our pets in my opinion should not be put in danger because our adult kids make us feel guilty...while they abuse us. Too many of us fall for that. Until we can't anymore. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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I called 911 last week re my 20 yo. Looking for support and suggestions going forward
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