detachingmother
serenity
Not sure if I should put this here in the substance abuse section. But it has to do with my son's baby's mother and it's my son's drug abuse that got us here, so here it is.
Got a call from Gfs mother today that the girlfriend and her sister had a physical fight. The sister was trying to stop girlfriend from yelling at the newborn baby. The girlfriend was trying to change the baby and had trouble with the tabs. The baby wet on the bed and sheets, then girlfriend yelled at that and yelled toward the baby. girlfriend, according to the mother has been losing her temper often with baby. For everything from the baby is crying and needs a bottle, to the baby is wet, the baby did this or that, it's so very sad. This poor little sweet baby surely just needs love and attention. My heart is broken having no control.
Then, the sister got involved and tried to calm down girlfriend whereupon girlfriend physically attacked the sister. The sister called 911. The cops came, then the women all changed their story and said nothing happened or something along those lines. Cops left.
GFs mom calls me. Tells me all of this, saying how disgusted she is with girlfriend (her daughter), told me a bunch of sad things about how her daughter is treating baby. I have been trying for days to just play the "I know it's hard, please let me help, you all need a break...." I said, listen, we all agree girlfriend isn't doing well.... Please let me come get the baby and take her for a few days so you can all have a break, even baby (so I could figure out what to do). The sister got on the phone and told me to go to hell. That I would never ever get to bring the baby to my house. Mind you I have never done a thing to these people but try to be helpful. There is zero drama at my home. No fighting, no drugs, no chaos, etc...
Sister proceeds to tell me she is going to get full custody of the baby and for me to go to hell again. I totally lost all sense of anything good, yelled at her and her mother. Up until now, since I've know them the past year, they have not seen this side of me, but I gave up....it wasn't sinking in....anyway, yelling gets one no where...I gave up. Hung up. Dialed CPS and told CPS what has been going on since the third day the baby was home. Baby is not even 6 weeks old yet. Told them all of what the mother told me, all of what the father has been telling me, all of what I've heard and seen about her mental illness and past domestic violence record...and about what happened today, 911 was called because she attacked her own sister bc sister was trying to protect the baby from girlfriend yelling at her for peeing on the bed and bed sheet.
I doubt CPS will do a damn thing but the ball is rolling this way too...basically, the three women in that home are all going at each other's throats. None of the family is capable of dealing with GFs mental illness. Now, girlfriend has been diagnosed with not only severe anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Bi-Polar, but on top of it all, PostPartum depression, and something else I can't keep up.
CPS does nothing unless the kids are bruised, battered, etc it seems...
I am still stuck bc affidavit of parentage isn't completed yet.
My hands are tied and I am sick to my very soul and heart over this....
GFs dad is begging me to do something...that guy is beside himself while these women, girlfriend in particular controls and holds hostage emotionally (and sometimes physically) the entire family. girlfriend has physically attacked each and every one of them. It's not a stretch to envision the baby being hurt in the middle of her attacks. Its so toxic.
I am praying now I haven't made things worse, but I have a sinking feeling I did.
Also, I am so confused as to why this mother of hers keeps calling me to "tattle" knowing damn well my hands are currently tied. I mean, all I can do is say I will come pick up the baby to help and when they refuse what am I supposed to do...it's insane. It's making me insane.
I know I did the right thing by calling CPS but at what cost. Now I probably just ruined what little bit I get to see baby....only at their house when it's convenient for them, and so far almost always in the middle of conflict.
I hope this doesn't backfire now. Son is now mad at me. I am damned if I do and damned if I don't....back to almost feeling like why am I doing this...
...my poor grand child sweet baby girl...
Got a call from Gfs mother today that the girlfriend and her sister had a physical fight. The sister was trying to stop girlfriend from yelling at the newborn baby. The girlfriend was trying to change the baby and had trouble with the tabs. The baby wet on the bed and sheets, then girlfriend yelled at that and yelled toward the baby. girlfriend, according to the mother has been losing her temper often with baby. For everything from the baby is crying and needs a bottle, to the baby is wet, the baby did this or that, it's so very sad. This poor little sweet baby surely just needs love and attention. My heart is broken having no control.
Then, the sister got involved and tried to calm down girlfriend whereupon girlfriend physically attacked the sister. The sister called 911. The cops came, then the women all changed their story and said nothing happened or something along those lines. Cops left.
GFs mom calls me. Tells me all of this, saying how disgusted she is with girlfriend (her daughter), told me a bunch of sad things about how her daughter is treating baby. I have been trying for days to just play the "I know it's hard, please let me help, you all need a break...." I said, listen, we all agree girlfriend isn't doing well.... Please let me come get the baby and take her for a few days so you can all have a break, even baby (so I could figure out what to do). The sister got on the phone and told me to go to hell. That I would never ever get to bring the baby to my house. Mind you I have never done a thing to these people but try to be helpful. There is zero drama at my home. No fighting, no drugs, no chaos, etc...
Sister proceeds to tell me she is going to get full custody of the baby and for me to go to hell again. I totally lost all sense of anything good, yelled at her and her mother. Up until now, since I've know them the past year, they have not seen this side of me, but I gave up....it wasn't sinking in....anyway, yelling gets one no where...I gave up. Hung up. Dialed CPS and told CPS what has been going on since the third day the baby was home. Baby is not even 6 weeks old yet. Told them all of what the mother told me, all of what the father has been telling me, all of what I've heard and seen about her mental illness and past domestic violence record...and about what happened today, 911 was called because she attacked her own sister bc sister was trying to protect the baby from girlfriend yelling at her for peeing on the bed and bed sheet.
I doubt CPS will do a damn thing but the ball is rolling this way too...basically, the three women in that home are all going at each other's throats. None of the family is capable of dealing with GFs mental illness. Now, girlfriend has been diagnosed with not only severe anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Bi-Polar, but on top of it all, PostPartum depression, and something else I can't keep up.
CPS does nothing unless the kids are bruised, battered, etc it seems...
I am still stuck bc affidavit of parentage isn't completed yet.
My hands are tied and I am sick to my very soul and heart over this....
GFs dad is begging me to do something...that guy is beside himself while these women, girlfriend in particular controls and holds hostage emotionally (and sometimes physically) the entire family. girlfriend has physically attacked each and every one of them. It's not a stretch to envision the baby being hurt in the middle of her attacks. Its so toxic.
I am praying now I haven't made things worse, but I have a sinking feeling I did.
Also, I am so confused as to why this mother of hers keeps calling me to "tattle" knowing damn well my hands are currently tied. I mean, all I can do is say I will come pick up the baby to help and when they refuse what am I supposed to do...it's insane. It's making me insane.
I know I did the right thing by calling CPS but at what cost. Now I probably just ruined what little bit I get to see baby....only at their house when it's convenient for them, and so far almost always in the middle of conflict.
I hope this doesn't backfire now. Son is now mad at me. I am damned if I do and damned if I don't....back to almost feeling like why am I doing this...
...my poor grand child sweet baby girl...