I can finally update . . .

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Kathy813, Dec 13, 2012.

  1. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    First, I need to apologize for not doing a very good job as a moderator. I have been completely wrapped up in what has been going on with my difficult child and haven't been able to post about it because I was worried that she was reading the board and would be tipped off to the intervention.

    Yes, I said intervention. To our shock and dismay, we found out the weekend after Thanksgiving that our difficult child was shooting up heroin. At that point, we realized we had no choice about getting her into that residential treatment center I had posted about before. They gave us names of interventionists and one turned out to live close by. We started the process a couple of weeks ago and held the intervention on Tuesday morning.

    It did not turn out well. difficult child was stoic and kept refusing to go. The interventionist was great and told her that in that case she needed to leave our home. difficult child pulled out the 30 day eviction card so H (the interventionist) told us to call 911 and see if her bringing heroin into our home would change that. Three police officers arrived who said that difficult child was a legal resident so she did get the 30 day notice but to go see a judge at the court just in case he/she would look at things in a different light since difficult child was bringing heroin into our home.

    We left our 27-year-old niece with difficult child and went off to the court with H. We accidentally went to the wrong place and ended up at the family violence court. The officer at the desk heard our story and suggested a temporary protection order but made clear we would have to say we felt that we were in danger. So up we went to fill out multiple forms and go before a judge. He was wonderful and said that her bringing the heroin into our house was cause enough to sign the TPO and that they would send out sheriff deputies to make her leave our home that same day. He told us to stay away until she had been served.

    In the meantime, difficult child decided that she would go but only if our niece flew down with her instead of the interventionist who she called foul names. Our niece, who is one tough cookie after serving three tours in Iraq and Afghanistan agreed to fly down with difficult child and take her to the detox hospital. The deputies arrived while difficult child was getting her things together so she knows that there is a TPO filed against her.

    So difficult child is now in detox and she will spend 3 - 5 days there and then be transferred to the dual diagnosis/addiction treatment center. The plan is that she will be there for 3 months.

    There is so much more to the story but I will end it here for now. Please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers.

  2. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Oh Kathy....sorry for the news about the heroin but glad you are staying strong and doing what you have to do!!

  3. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    What a incredible journey for your family, and with so little warning. I'm so impressed at your resolve and quick movements. And I am so glad that your difficult child finally relented and went. I wish her the best and hope hope hope that this is the turning point. Heroin scares the bejeepers out of me, as I'm sure it would any mother.

    I imagine you must be exhausted mentally. Take good and gentle care of yourself. One day your difficult child is going to thank you for loving her this way.
  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Kathy, you and your family are in my prayers............many hugs to you.
  5. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Oh my goodness!!! I am SO SO sorry and you are in my prayers!!!!

    As you know, I don't live far from you. I had no idea we had to serve them with eviction notices. Mine left of her own choice, but I didn't know about the eviction process.

    Thank goodness she went!!! I pray she stays and really gets clean this time...
  6. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    That is just awful for all of you. Thank God for your quick thinking and for your niece's cooperation. difficult child is in a great place, and I'm praying for her to work very hard through this, and for your family to stay strong.
  7. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Kathy, my mommy heart aches for the tumult and the pain these last few weeks have brought you. I am awed by the strength you showed and I know it must have been the hardest thing ever. I will light a candle for your family today and as always- you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know that you must still be very worried and exhausted. I hope that knowing she is in a safe place will grant you some calm and give you the opportunity to nurture your own self. {{{hugs}}}
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Of course I am so sorry that you have been going through such painful drama but I am so impressed that you were able to trump her "30 day card". Really divine intervention must have diverted you to the wrong location where you got such immediate response. Wow. You know I'm on your team and sure am praying that they can get through to her so she can benefit from this once in a lifetime opportunity. Hugs. DDD
  9. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome back Kathy, you were missed. You continue to have my support and friendship. I too am so impressed and in awe of your strength and commitment. Your niece is an angel. I had no idea she served in the middle east, she is one tough cookie, I can see why you trusted her with difficult child. What I hope for you now is for peace and stability to come back to your family, and no more locking things up.
  10. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    So sorry to hear what you have been going through. I am glad she did decide to go for help. Hugs to you and your family.
  11. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    My prayers are with you and yours. So sorry she is doing this to herself.
  12. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Adding more prayers for recovery all around. I imagine it will be a stressful holiday season in some ways but she is safe so thats a blessing. Many hugs. Sending peaceful thoughts.
  13. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    If you don't mind a suggestion that is a little bit off topic......make up a NEW plan for Christmas. Many of us have had to spend the 25th with our difficult children in rehab or jail. It ain't easy, my friend. Come up with a plan that will divert your attention. Serve food at a homeless shelter. Adopt a family in need. Anything that you can do...but do not try to have your family tradional Christmas with difficult child's chair empty. It won't work. Hugs DDD
  14. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I'm so very sorry you are facing this---I know how hard it is. My heart is with you.
  15. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You know I always appreciate your suggestions, DDD. However, I was thinking this might actually give us a chance to have a normal, drama free Christmas. I think we should have our normal Christmas for easy child's sake.

    We had actually thought about driving down to visit difficult child for Christmas until we saw how the intervention went. Now I refuse to let her ruin another holiday for us so I told easy child we would be staying home.

    You may be right, though, and we may regret this decision. We could always go to the movies on Christmas day. . . we haven't done that before.
  16. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    Kathy, I read this forum daily wondering if I can offer help. I hesitate to put this out there but I am a recovering heroin addict (9 years clean - thank God). I think the best thing you can do is have your family Christmas without difficult child. She needs to realize that there are consequenes for her addiction. She needs to stay in detox and aftercare. I didn't get clean until my family made it clear that they could survive without me and I lost all contact with close friends that I used to have.

    Today I have a good life and it is entirely due to several family members and our local pastor practicing "tough love" on me. That and AA/NA meetings have helped me get a new set of recovery-minded friends that help me almost daily. I pray that your difficult child gets the same.
  17. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Kathy I am so sorry your family is having to deal with this, but I am glad she went to rehab. Will say prayers for strength and support for all of you. Hugs.
  18. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Lots of gentle hugs and support. You are such an incredible person. Your daughter is one lucky girl to have you in her corner. What does easy child want to do for Christmas? Make it all about you guys.
  19. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Wow. Many, many hugs are going out to you.
  20. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    easy child said she would go with us to visit difficult child if we wanted her to but she sounded relieved when I told her we were staying home and celebrating Christmas without worrying about difficult child.

    The people at the treatment center said that they have a big dinner and celebrate the holiday there and she would be fine. I agree with cubsgirl that difficult child needs to realize that she will have many holidays alone unless she cleans up her act.