I can't believe she's gone.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Jody, Jul 19, 2011.

  1. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    I really don't know what to do with myself right now. I am panicking. One of my best friends died on Thursday and I read about it in the newspaper. My kids don't have a blood grandma and so my friend Charlotte stood up and became their grandma. They are devastated. My little one had been texting her for the last weekend, and had gotten no response. She said I hope that Grandma is okay, she's not calling or texting me back. She had already died. She had pancreatic cancer. She was diagnosed last November. I had not seen her recently, but she was always cheerful and upbeat when we talked on the phone, said she was doing well and then I picked up the obituaries in our local paper and there is her picture. I can't believe we won't have anymore of our talks, or hear her crazy laugh anymore. Yesterday I could not cry, I think I was just shocked, today is different, I can't stop. Tomorrow is her funeral. She was 59 years old. I have 5 friends that I talk to a lot and 2 of them have died in the last year. I just need this to stop happening. I wish I had been able to say goodbye. I wish her husband had called me. His kids, kids are the only grandchildren that Charlotte had by marriage. Mine were by choice and it just never sat really well with him. They called him Grandpa too, but it was different. My youngest is devastated, she had asked me if we could go over on July 4th. I had told her no because I made plans with another friend after church. She never got to see her again. She's mad at me right now, for saying no. I know she'll get over it and she can be mad at me, but she'll come around eventually.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Im so very sorry. Hugs to your dtr and to you.
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Jody, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine what a shock it must have been to find our via the newspaper. It will take time to assimilate her passing but I hope you will be able to focus on all the wonderful times you shared. Hugs. DDD
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss, Jody. Many, many hugs to you and your daughter.
  5. keista

    keista New Member

    So sorry for your loss. (((((HUGS)))))
  6. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    ((((HUGS)))) I am so sorry for your loss.
  7. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Oh, hon. :hugs:

    I am sorry you had to find out like that. How awful.
  8. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    I'm so sorry :(. It must have been a shock to learn in that manner. I believe your daughters anger is natural, her emotions found an outlet this way and I too know she'll move past it and realize what she's really feeling is the pain of such a loss. Gentle hugs to you all. I'll be thinking of you all tomorrow for her service. I'm sorry you didn't get to see her that "one last time". From how you described the relationship, she knew of all of your love for her as it sounds you all know of her love for you all. Gramma's are special, and blood has no relevance much of the time.
  9. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    O I am so sorry...

    Many, many (((hugs)))
  10. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    Thank you so much. I talked to her husband and he was very kind and said that he tried to call me. I don't know if it's true or not but I just never got a call. He said he and Charlotte had just gotten back from Minneapolis and had seen all of her family and got to say goodbye and then she came home and on Tuesday and went into the hospital on Wednesday and died Thursday. I just really wish I had had a chance to say goodbye and give her a hug, I know it's not always possible but doesn't make me stop wishing it had been able to happen. I miss her so much, and just can't get over I'll never talk to her. I am sorry, that I am talking about this on here, but I really just need to talk about her.
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohhh, nooo ... I am so sorry.
    That is so sad. And she was young.
    I'm sorry about your daughter is so angry--I can understand that, from her point of view. But you never know what is going to happen day-to-day and you can't always stand on one foot while you're doing 20 other things. It will pass and she will forgive you.
    I know what you mean about wishing you could have given your friend a hug and seeing her one more time.
    Here's a cyber hug from Virginia. {{{{{{{ **** }}}}}}}}
  12. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I'm very sorry for your hurt Jody. Sending hugs and prayers for you and your daughter.
  13. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I am so very sorry. I totally understand how you feel, it is devastating to not be able to say goodbye. I never got to do that with my sister - it was just she is missing, and then, she is dead. I lost my mind for awhile. However, the grief got better over time. But it takes --- time.

    With my father's passing this March, I knew how horrible it was to not say goodbye, so I called everyone he loved and said if you want to say goodbye you must come NOW. Some of my relatives did not believe now was NOW - but his best friend did - and his nephew did. After his nephew gave him a hug goodbye, he died hours later. He held on for those 2 people - but there were many others that I am sure he said goodbye to in his own psyche and spirit - just like I am sure your friend did to you.

    I always believed that my sister must have said goodbye to me as she was dying - and when I go to the place they found her - I feel it. The harder part is for me to say goodbye to her. That is the true challenge.

    Many, many hugs - I know how hard this is. Hang on. Time will heal.
  14. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I'm so sorry, Jody. *hugs to your family and hers*
  15. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Sending comforting hugs to you and your children -- I'm so sorry.
  16. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I'm so sorry for your loss. :crying:
  17. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I am so very sorry for your family's loss. ((((hugs)))
  18. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Oh Jody, how devasting. And to read about it in the obituaries. I am so sorry.

    I lost my best friend very suddenly 9 1/2 years ago. My difficult child does not remember her and easy child never met her.

    Just keep your wonderful memories of her alive for your girls.

    Thoughts and Prayers to you and the girls... Shelly
  19. ML

    ML Guest

    Oh Jody I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. Charlotte souns like a wonderful person. I'm glad you had her in your life, if even for a short time. Love, ML
  20. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss, and that you weren't informed as you should have been. I would have really struggled with that.