I can't believe this!

[Just keep swimming]

<span style="color: #993399">Hi Family,

Happy 4th, or what's left of it.

I just spoke with a friend who has a son in the Special Day Class that Aly has been part of since the 1st grade. Aly was mainstreamed this past year, but with the option to go to Miss S when she felt overwhelmed or anxious. Miss S is one of those special, special people that God made then broke the mold, so to speak. She has a way of helping the kids that need it most and helping them to be the best that they can be.

My friend said that she was called by Miss S who said she had been offered another job at a school closer to her home with even MORE difficult kiddos and she had accepted it. My poor friend, her little guy is no where near ready to be mainstreamed and she is so upset about this next school year. I understand Miss S wanting to work closer to home, getting a new challenge and all, but our school is small, a tightnit group and she was pretty special to everyone.

I haven't even told Aly yet, she will flip out. Her in home therapist will be here on Friday afternoon, I think I will tell her then so I can get help. Aly depends so much on Miss S, her rock, I am so sad to have to tell her this news.

Now it puts husband and I in a pickle. Do we keep Aly at that school, which isn't even our neighborhood school, or move her to her home school with supports? She was only at that other school because of the class Miss S had and the in class counselor as well. Of course, I know they will bring in another teacher to fill Miss S position, but it will probably be some young, just out of school thing that has NO idea how our kids tick.

I really would love to move her away from the little group of "friends" she had made this past year as they were NOT a good influence on her at all. I think her IEP would just follow her, right? She would still get all the extra help she needs, as per the IEP, right?

Guess I am just in shock right now. I depended on Miss S nearly as much as Aly does! Of course, these things always happen in the summer! UGH!

Thanks for listening,
Vickie </span>

 

[susiestar]

Geez, Vickie, this really sitnks.

I understand what the teacher wants, But it is soooooo hard on our kiddoes.

Do you know anything about what the local school offers? Can you meet their teacher/counselor over the summer to "shop" for the best place for Aly?

Big hugs, and glad to hear from you again.

Susie

 

[Marguerite]

It's a hard one. From what I know of the Miss S's of this world, she would have considered your daughter and this other boy, as well as the other students, in her decision. But sometimes people have to make these life decisions for their own reasons and a good teacher has to recognise that if they wait until they're not needed, they'll never have the freedom to change schools. All she can do is hope that her replacement is as dedicated.

And that's all you can do, too. it's not good for our kids to become too reliant on one special person. But it happens - it happened with difficult child 1 as a baby and toddler, and it happened with difficult child 3, when he got the same aide for years because they simply couldn't get aides to stay over successive years until they got "the angel".

What I suggest you do - tell your daughter as gently as possible, try to put a good spin on it and suggest that the teacher they get to replace Miss S, while being a different person, could be just as much a support as Miss S.

Then monitor. See how it goes, give the new person a chance to catch up a bit but make it clear as to what needs to be done. If the replacement simply isn't up to scratch, then I would consider moving her. Early in the new school year shouldn't make too much difference, you'll have had enough time to see how the replacement is working out (or not). The IEP should transfer without too much hassle, but before the move I would be setting up a Learning team Meeting at the prospective new school, to see if the move is going to work out. Just because they're supposed to be able to transfer funding and support doesn't mean that staff at the new school have any clue, or are prepared to learn.

Not having a clue shouldn't be an obstacle, if they're prepared to adapt. It's the school staff who insist the child must adapt to the school, who are the guide as to whether to even bother with that school.

I would be talking to other schools while you're also assessing how the replacement teacher is going. It's a probationary period all round, really. So there should be no problem about 'shopping around".

Is there a district disabilities coordinator who should be brought on board with this? You do need to keep lines of communication open. be honest about your concerns and your intentions - make it clear that you're considering the transfer as well as considering leaving her where she is - and why.

I would also be talking to the other mother, see how she feels. Don't just sit together in misery, work things out in terms of what you both feel your children need. Maybe between the two of you, you could develop a "shopping list" of what sort of support system would coordinate for both your children.

Marg