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I cant even be around him
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 694022" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Thats me, but my son has a normal IQ, is well behaved, works etc. He is one of three kids we adopted who are amaxing. But we also adopted a few older kids (one was also six) without good results. Generally it is hard for an older child to love well because his life is full of being neglected, thrown around and possibly physical/sexual abuse before meeting us. They come to us damaged and we think we can love them.to happiness, but it isnt that simple. It really doesnt tend to work that way. Some of them are terrified of closeness to anyone and refuse to bond...or try and can't. Many act out. Some are so angry they are dangerous. They may have suffered some traumas they cant even remember consciously. We had a boy like that.</p><p></p><p>Some of the kids, like my mildly autistic son, were exposed to substances before they were even born. This is important. It can cause brain damage. We were lucky. His only problem is very high functioning autism. But some get fetal slcohol syndrome and frontal lobe brain problems. Some have trouble learning to reason or understanding right from wrong. Others cant make good decisions.None of this is your fault. You did not know him when this happened, but it does the child.</p><p></p><p>My son does gets services through Disabilty, but is doing well on his own. Your son, because of low IQ and probably other problems...reactive attachment disorder maybe?...he will need maybe a group home and more supervision than my son. I strongly recommend using all the services he is entitled to. Get him on Disability if hes not. Get him into group independent living so you can both grow.</p><p></p><p>Do you think the medications help? The wrong medications can make people even worse.</p><p></p><p>And take care of YOU as well!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 694022, member: 1550"] Thats me, but my son has a normal IQ, is well behaved, works etc. He is one of three kids we adopted who are amaxing. But we also adopted a few older kids (one was also six) without good results. Generally it is hard for an older child to love well because his life is full of being neglected, thrown around and possibly physical/sexual abuse before meeting us. They come to us damaged and we think we can love them.to happiness, but it isnt that simple. It really doesnt tend to work that way. Some of them are terrified of closeness to anyone and refuse to bond...or try and can't. Many act out. Some are so angry they are dangerous. They may have suffered some traumas they cant even remember consciously. We had a boy like that. Some of the kids, like my mildly autistic son, were exposed to substances before they were even born. This is important. It can cause brain damage. We were lucky. His only problem is very high functioning autism. But some get fetal slcohol syndrome and frontal lobe brain problems. Some have trouble learning to reason or understanding right from wrong. Others cant make good decisions.None of this is your fault. You did not know him when this happened, but it does the child. My son does gets services through Disabilty, but is doing well on his own. Your son, because of low IQ and probably other problems...reactive attachment disorder maybe?...he will need maybe a group home and more supervision than my son. I strongly recommend using all the services he is entitled to. Get him on Disability if hes not. Get him into group independent living so you can both grow. Do you think the medications help? The wrong medications can make people even worse. And take care of YOU as well!! [/QUOTE]
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