i can't get over this


Active Member
I've spoken to an attny about where I should go with the school situation since they haven't responded to my appeal letter that I sent on Apr 13 and because homebound services hadn't started and were supposed to start mid-Apr and because school wants difficult child in day school for at least next couple of years. Based on attny's advice, i let school know i'd consulted an attny. homebound teacher finally says she'd start this past monday and will call when she gets off work to let me know she's on her way. We sit here waiting from 3:00 on and never hear from her.

I send nasty letter to homebound services and school board clerk about my difficult child not receiving any education for past 6 weeks and that i don't think he should have to take 6th grade over if he didn't fail the grade- he hasn't gotten any education for this quarter. i get call from homebound director today saying teacher showed up and i wouldn't answer door. EXCUSE ME?!?!? :nonono:

Ok, I'm trying to be as fair as I can- I think maybe we just didn't hear her if she tapped lightly on storm door- no, this couldn't be it because difficult child was waiting in living room, 6 feet away from door. Maybe he heard it but didn't let me know- well, what about our two little dogs who bark EVERY time someone comes to door and normally are reacting to a visitor before they even make it to the door. she had come by the house last week to make sure she could find it so i know it's not that she went to the wrong house. The homebound director insists this teacher documented that she knocked on the door several times and I never answered and that she (teacher) didn't think i wanted her services so is refusing to ever return to my house. really- why would she say that?? If she felt i didn't answer the door when i should have, could she have tried calling? And then I remembered- she had said she was going to call when she was on her way here, and she didn't. So, I'm starting to feel like I'm living in the twilight zone with this school system. The attny told me they will decide amongst themselves how they want things before parents show up for IEP and discipline meetings, but would they go so far as to blatantly lie? I did remind the director, i'm fighting to get my difficult child more education- not less. :rolleyes:

difficult child is on monitor from juvy and juvy workers show up at any time of day- unannounced- every 1-2 days. we've never had any problem knowing when they are at the door. and, one had stopped by earlier monday while i was preparing room for homebound teacher and we discussed services starting that day. i am at wits end with this and can't believe this woman said this. would she make it up because she doesn't like dogs? (I planned to keep them in a separate room with me while she was teaching) :hypnosis:


<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">but would they go so far as to blatantly lie? </div></div>

Some district's do. It's happened to me several times. It's happened to every parent that I work with locally.

Give them an out. Write a little note saying she must have gone to the wrong house/apt, that difficult child was waiting in the living room and didn't hear anyone knock, the dogs always bark when someone knocks and even if I hadn't heard the knock I'd certainly have heard the dogs barking. When can we expect her?


Your attorney is seriously UNDERESTIMATING the negative if all he/she thinks all SDs do is cook the IEPs before the meeting.

As both a parent, an advocate, and a former Due Process Hearing Officer, the level of lying in general and perjury at DP hearings is breath taking.

Sheila makes a good suggestion in my opinion--give them an out but let them know that someone had better show up. Check with your att'y before sending any letters. If you do send a letter, send it CM.



Just a thought, but it might not be a bad idea to have someone at your house when the homebound instructor is supposed to show...a neighbor maybe. A witness.

Other than that...I'm just speechless over your SD. Wow.


Active Member
A witness is a good idea. A new instructor called last night and we are scheduled to start Tuesday- difficult child has court on Monday. Director just called to verify that we worked something out. They did agree (only verbally so far) to continue services during summer until he finishes 6th grade work. Also, have worked it out for even better hours for me during the summer.

One little step forward!!


New Member
been there done that. A word of caution- record EVERYTHING that you legally can. DOcument EVERY SINGLE THING. Clarify everything to the Nth degree. Leave nothing to any misunderstandings, and get everything in writing.

This sounds like our experiences with the schools.
My oldest was doctor ordered to homebound after we filed for due process. We filed for due process in Nov, and the due process hearing did not start until march. Meanwhile all of a sudden my dtr was getting "caught" for some of the weirdest strangest things, - things that were not at all like her- things her doctor did not even believe............things there were never any witnesses to, in spite of the fact she had a 1-1 aide with her at school. So homebound was doctor ordered in Feb, but in March there still was no homebound instructor. Then school dist decided to challenge our docs credentials. - in our due process hearing.
The hearing officer ordered school to comply with homebound order, and finally in JUNE we got an instructor. Sort of. The instructor demanded we do homebound on saturday and sunday mornings at 7 am all summer. Becuz our dtr had insomnia and had not been going to school for years until 9 or 10 am (her ed bd class did not even start till 10 am when she was still in that) we said "no" In JUly we finally got a homebound teacher who agreed to meeting at 10 am twice during the week. We worked on some school things and turned them in only to then find out that was schoolwork from a class my dtr had taken and passed the year before, so- she got no credit for it. Then the rest of what got worked on and turned in got "lost". Homebound teacher said she turned it in to school, school said she didn't. My dtr got no credit for homebound at all. and wound up getting no credits at all from the time we filed for due process on. The official paperwork had all kinds of "creative" notations, such as we did not show up, we argued with instructor, we refused to schedule homebound etc. We met homebound instructor at the library, with me sitting just outside a little glass enclosed cubicle while my child and instructor did work. I was always able to watch every minute of their sessions. BUT that did not stop someone from saying all kinds of strange things. My dtr was accused of attacking instructor........um, my dtr was in ed bd class and got homebound not becuz she was aggressive or violent but rather becuz she had major panic attacks and would break out in hives and stop breathing. Interesting I never saw so much as a scuffle during homebound, and library never saw any problems either.

Do schools lie? absolutely. The things I have witnessed blow my mind. ANd it scares me, for the kids. I have seen school persons do some very horrible things----and it makes me wonder how often school people intentionally trigger kids and or parents? If I treated my kids the way I have seen school treat my kids, I would be in jail. If someone else treated my kids that way..............oh boy. ANd it appalls (sp) me to get my real estate property tax bill this week and see just how much I must pay to my district on my tiny little 900 sq foot house on one sixth of an acre in town to pay for schools that my kids no longer use becuz they have done such awful things to my kids. ANd I am only thinking about the things "I" witnessed with my own eyes.

Yes, my oldest carries a Early Onset Bi-Polar (EOBP) diagnosis but my son does not carry a mental illness diagnosis......he has cerebal palsy (mild), seizures and then had an eye injury and lost an eye after 2 horrific surgeries.
DO they lie? Yes. Oddly enough, at various times over the years, they have said my kids are doing great when they weren't..or they have fabricated problems when things were going well.....
My son got the highest compliments and remarks at times, and was passed thru even tho later they said he was performing 3 grade levels below his grade. He missed the entire grade 5 school year due to his injury and surgeries- (many complications) and they insisted on passing him to middle school mainstream, anyway. I begged them to hold him back. Within a week, the middle school began their tirade and displayed much anger at ME for him being there.
I began homeschooling him myself this Nov, and turns out while he does have difficulty reading and writing- his knowledge and capacity for learning and his ability to accomodate himself is enormous. School maintained he was 3 grades below........yet I have him now working on his sisters GED material- with EASE. This summer he has been accepted into a chemistry camp for high schoolers at our community college.
Yes, he reads slow and stumbles, but he gets thru and he writes illegibly, so he uses a keyboard. We practice handwriting skills seperately- kinda like an "art class"

It is my personal opinion if you are stuck at a school that treats the kids badly, it compounds and magnifies all the problems. If a school is going to lie to the parents and weasel around, I have to wonder how they treat the kids when the parents are not there?
Discipline? We have had little reason to do any hardcore discipline, not since we pulled out of school. How do my kids function in "the real world"? My son is in a leadership anti drug program to help create ways in the community to keep kids off drugs (no, he has not used drugs, - it is a sister program to Operation Snowball) My one daughter is a sunday school teacher, and a student volunteer for Big Brothers Big SIsters, and also a peer staff for ITI-MLI and has applied to do a future physicians internship this summer.my other is active with military veterans families,(fundraising, advocating etc) etc. Outside of school, people cannot seem to say enough good things about my kids. There are times when I sit here and wonder, gosh what kids was my school district talking about at all those IEP meetings etc that I attended? Sure does not look or sound like MY kids.

My son was ordered homebound aftyer a severe eye injury, and he required 2 9 hour surgeries 5 hours from home. The school waited until he was back in regular school to begin homebound, and wanted to tack his homebound hours they owed him on to his regular school day to the tune of 4 hours per afternoon. The first day his homebound instructor showed up, she had class assignments from the classroom that day that he already did in class. Then she found out he could not see, and she did not know how to proceed with him, and then she quit. It was written that we did not want her.


Active Member
Wow- sounds like my worst fear and where i think we're headed. I'm trying to get difficult child in an inpatatient evaluation. if they think he needs to stay inpatient a while, they have their own school. i don't object to that one beacuase it really is therapuetic- it's a REAL children's treatment center. i'm seriously considering moving- although i just bought this house last year so it will hurt financially. the most important thing is finding the appropropriate place for my son- this school even criticized him for showing up to school looking withdrawn dishoveled (sp) and otherwise like he didn't want to be there- this was after a week of receiving lectures. the school they propose are also day places for those with mental retardation- now, is this fair to anyone?


New Member
Yeah, my dtr was placed in an "ed bd class" in a seperate building across town- she was the only girl with 8 boys.and some of the boys were mr, some were recently discharged from juvie..........bottom line was the placement was simply a warehouse to shove kids they did not want to be bothered to do anything with. The class day started at 10 am ended at 130 PM..they were not permitted to go to lunch, gym, music, band, computers etc.it was entirely self contained, had their own bus....were not permitted to be in sports or extra curricular things------no field trips or assemblies.....
ALas that was grade 8, and then they demanded she go to mainstream HS with no supports in place....

The ed bd class seldom did any academics. It spanned 3 grades (6-8) Fri was "bring your own music in" and Wed was "pizza day" and Mon was "social skills/party manners" day. She landed there becuz she had panic attacks, and would need to regroup when one began. Sadly, all her state levels testing thru the years, she scored 96-98th precentile in all academics always. :-( BUT her formal academic teaching basically ended when she got sent to that ed bd class in grade 8.

ANd really thats when her social difficulties really kicked in. There were a lot of difficulties related to gender issues, and her "peer models" sure could not exhibit "proper" behaviors etc.....and the mainstream kids shunned the ed bd kids....

I fought tooth and nail to keep her out of that ed bd class.and lost.


Active Member
that's exactly the school model we're talking about here. i am responding to the sd that, right now, i don't think that would be appropriate placement and i am having difficult child re-evaluation'd this summer and will obtain new recommendations for his IEP to put in place next year. If the docs who evaluation him state that they think this school will "rehabilitate" my son then i'll reconsider my decision. (i don't think any docs around here will do that)if the sd bucs this, we're heading for mediation and/or due processing.