So, the visit with difficult child wasn't pleasant. She spent the first hour and a half of a two hour visit crying saying she "can't be here", that it is "prison", that she "doesn't need to be here", that "they aren't doing anything", that "no one is helping me or doing anything", that she "can't sleep here", she "can't take a shower here", etc, etc, etc. She was begging me to take her home. It was incredibly difficult. She said she got yelled at because she didn't eat dinner. I asked her why she didn't eat dinner and she said she couldn't because they served chicken. They do know she is a strict vegetarian, but lines got crossed. And her idea of someone yelling at her is....way off. And she said she's had nothing to eat all day but 4 crackers. On the way to the psychiatric hospital, I got a phone call from the nurse saying the doctor had seen difficult child and asking me for my consent for the doctor to give difficult child a sudafed for congestion and chapstick. *blink* I didn't realize they were going to ask about *everything*. Chapstick? difficult child 2's mom asked difficult child how she expected me to fix it when difficult child said she was scared. Then difficult child 2's mom pointed out that she has to learn to fix things herself. Kinda what I was getting at about her wanting me to fix absolutely *everything*. I really wasn't exaggerating. We saw the day nurse who reminded difficult child that she didn't want her salad at lunch, it was offered to her again at 3pm, and she could have it that evening at snack time. She also reminded difficult child of the things they did do since she had been there, that she had only been there for a few hours and the first 24 hours are the toughest. Honestly, I think difficult child really just had no idea what was going on. It's not unusual for her to get completely lost, especially when her anxiety is so high. Day nurse also told difficult child that contrary to what difficult child's roomie said, they do not "drug kids just for crying". I'm just thinking...great roomie for a kid with some serious paranoia issues. I spoke to the night nurse about medications for sleep and for PRN's. She asked why difficult child hadn't spoken to psychiatrist about that (inpatient psychiatrist is different from regular psychiatrist). I reminded nurse that this was all new to difficult child, that she didn't know she could ask, and that difficult child had been taking medications for insomnia but d/c them because of side effects. I also told nurse that I had spoken to regular therapist about that and she said inpatient would take care of it. Nurse said she would call regular psychiatrist. That all finally seemed to calm down difficult child. Plus, I abruptly changed the subject and told difficult child that difficult child 2's mom now has chickens. You know...moving on.... Then night nurse comes back and asks if I would prefer difficult child be given benadryl or melatonin. Ha. Neither. They don't even phase her. She asked if I wanted to do Seroquel and I said I'd rather not start that route out of the chute because of difficult child's high risk of heart disease and the cholesterol side effects. I think they were going to give her Ambien. For a PRN she asked me if I wanted to give her Vistaril. If benadryl does nothing, neither will vistaril. They are the same damn thing - basically. I don't know what they ended up doing with that. I do know that difficult child more than likely missed her BC tonight because I took them in my purse, but wasn't allowed to take my purse back and forgot about them. I doubt they had time to get anything from the pharmacy. They called me about the chapstick when I was 45 minutes away and they still hadn't gotten it by the time we left (basically 3 hours had elapsed). I gave difficult child mine. Her lips were lobster red, they were so chapped. And the whole process of how they inventory personal items and check them was very unorganized. I had to write down everything I had brought during my visit time, while difficult child is sobbing so she then thinks I'm ignoring her. Sigh.... I don't know. Day nurse is on the ball. Night nurse....I may have to train her. However, difficult child let me hug her when we were leaving. I told her I love her and that I'm doing this because I want her to be able to take back control of her life. Her room faces the sidewalk leading to the entrance, and as we were leaving we could see difficult child putting her clothes away so I felt better that she wasn't sobbing on her bed. But, I still can't sleep. How can you ever know if you're doing the right thing?