I can't stand it!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by flutterbee, Jul 30, 2008.

  1. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    difficult child was asleep when I left to go to the intake appointment.

    Let me back up a bit. I got up at 10am. I had everything ready for the appointment last night. But of course, I end up rushing around this afternoon because I was feeling so wonderful...yeah, that's it. According to mapquest it's a 40 minute drive to the place. I planned on leaving at 1pm, but of course I had to deal with the dog and had to call my mom and something else so I'm walking out of the house at 1:18. easy child was at work, but one of his friends was here. I tell him I'm leaving and he said that he would go get his stuff. :surprise: Apparently, I was supposed to take him home only no one told me. I told him that I was sorry, but that I didn't have time. So, that had me a bit stressed.

    Then, trying to find the place had me more stressed and even though I got to the general area with about 3 minutes to spare, I couldn't find the place so I was 15 minutes late....after driving in circles in a part of town I have never been to. Then I had to park on the street. Parallel parking is not my thing.

    I did find a better way to get home thanks to the intake person and by that time my blood sugar had dropped just from the stress of getting there. Driving and finding my way around never used to effect me. So, I stopped and got something to eat. Stopped and picked up difficult child's prescription and came home. I was in so much pain and I hadn't taken anything because I had to drive.

    My mom was here when I got home. difficult child was sitting at the computer which is in the kitchen right next to the door to the garage. difficult child is glaring at me. Asked her what was wrong and she said that I didn't tell her I was leaving - totally ticked off at me. I told her that she was sleeping and that I had told K - figured that was enough. No, it wasn't because I should have left her a note. Whatever.

    Found a note from K that he had to be home by 4pm so he walked. :919Mad: There is no reason why I couldn't have taken him had someone said something to me for the several hours I was up before I had to leave for an appointment. I'm so sick of these almost grown kids not planning ahead further than 5 minutes and then it becoming MY problem.

    easy child gets home from work and my mom wanted to take him to open a checking and savings account. I told her that my name would have to be on them as he is only 17. She questions that, then easy child questions it and says he wants it in his own name. Told him he can't because of his age, but even if he could it doesn't matter. He's only 17. I have the say so. Then my mom is thinking that she doesn't want him to open an account if he's only got $20 to put in savings and $55 to put in checking. I'm like so what...it's enough to open the account. This goes on, I'm not kidding, for almost 45 minutes, until finally I say, that's it - we're going. I love my mom dearly and am very grateful for all she does, but she will let my kids argue and wheel and deal on everything and it gets very annoying.

    So, we leave and easy child's friend D went with us. I was so flipping annoyed and stressed...had D take my pulse in the car. 140. Ha! Didn't have my nitro with me (dumb, I know) so I just did some deep breathing.

    Get to the bank and wait. Of course, easy child and D are waiting across the bank from us. There was several people waiting on both sides. We see this woman talking to someone about needing to see their social security card and we realized that she was talking to easy child. Hello??? He's 17. So, I go over because of course easy child doesn't have his ss card and she had him fill out some paperwork anyway and we just have to go back with his card. That was all combobulated because it didn't make sense what she was having us write. It would have just been easier to do it all at once.

    We leave and I realize that easy child only has 1/4 tank of gas in his car. My mother (don't ask me why - she is an enabler when it comes to easy child) had filled up his tank on Sunday. Today is Wednesday. This is ridiculous. He just got paid on Friday. No reason she should have put gas in his car on Sunday to begin with. He needs to learn to budget his money and if he doesn't have any gas then I guess he doesn't go anywhere. I'm not worried about it. We live 3 minutes from his work. He can walk if he needs to. But, of course I get ticked off and ask him what the hell he's doing and that he needs to make that 1/4 tank last til Friday cause no one is putting gas in his car anymore.

    My mom comes back to the house. She was going to color my hair, but I didn't feel up to it. She did color and cut and style difficult child's hair and difficult child was just a snot almost the whole time. She gets this nasty tone and it just makes you not want to do anything nice for her then she gets all offended when people get annoyed or mad at her.

    My mom gets done with her hair and we're talking. Walked back to my room and I saw difficult child laying on her bed. I asked her if she was feeling ok because she hasn't been feeling well. She said yes in that tone that means that she's annoyed. Whatever.

    My mom left and difficult child comes out accusing me and my mom of making fun of her. :surprise: She has been parting her hair so that it covers her eye and she claimed that I made a comment to my mom about it and we laughed. News to me. I didn't even talk about her hair with my mom today other than to say that the color looks good. She heard part of a conversation apparently - and I have no idea what it would have been - and misinterpreted or jumped to a conclusion and she stood here and spewed her nastiness at me. She doesn't ask; she accuses. Then she gets her feelings all hurt when people get defensive or angry.

    Then she told me that nana is mean to her, blah, blah, blah. I told her, first, that she and nana are responsible for THEIR relationship; not me. Then I told her that if she thinks nana is so mean and is going to accuse her of all these things then she shouldn't be asking nana for anything - like converse shoes, clothes, earrings, or doing her hair. She said she doesn't. :surprise: :faint: You have GOT to be kidding me. Nana just LEFT FROM DOING HER HAIR!!!!! SHE JUST GOT HER CONVERSE SHOES WITHIN THE LAST MONTH!!!

    Then she thought she was going to sit here and do her angst thing about how everyone is so horrible to her while not being at all willing to listen to how she talks to people, the tone she uses, her expectations and how it causes people to react. Because, of course, she doesn't do any of that. And I told her I wasn't doing that tonight - not in any shape or form.

    Then she just sat here and stared at me. And sniffled occasionally for effect. I told her to go to her room. And of course now I'm just a horrible mother. Too bad, so sad.

    And easy child....everytime I've said anything to him today he's snapped at me or whined. Seriously. Like a toddler. I told him not to talk to me for the rest of the night.

    I told D that it's a good thing he's not related to me because I'm not liking any kids related to me tonight.
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Wow - what a day!! It sounds like these kids are really taking you for granted- I guess that means you've been a good Mom!!

    now, can you keep them all in their rooms for the rest of the night and just relax and do something you enjoy??

    Sorry you had such a bad day- it does sound like a long one...
  3. ML

    ML Guest

    You really did have quite a day. I hope you can relax and decompress tonight.
  4. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Heather. It's time. I hate to break it to you. I think of you as one of my dearest friends. But, it's time.

    Go get 2 flashlights at around 2:00 am, very quietly go into one of their rooms, shine the flashlights at the same time directly into their eyes and scream at the top of your lungs "look out....TRUCK!!!!"

    Calmly turn off the flashlights, walk back into your bedroom and bask in the glow of stickin' it to 'em!

    It's time.

  5. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

    OMG, Beth. I was just thinking about that a couple of weeks ago! Are you the one that brought that up initially? I couldn't remember, but I started laughing out loud just thinking about it. Good thing I was home!

    easy child's friend D came and asked me what was wrong and I gave him a condensed version. easy child came in and started to talk to me and I stopped him and reminded him that I had told him not to talk to me anymore tonight. He went back to his room. Then I went outside. A few minutes later easy child came out and asked what was wrong and I told him - in no uncertain terms. Even difficult child has mellowed out some since I didn't let her do her emo thing.
  6. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Yeah, it was me - I must confess, it was a bit that Carol Leiffer did in a stand up routine in the '80's (yikes!) but you were going soooo crazy trying to get easy child up in the morning it just popped in my head.

    Now seeing you dealing with "teen cr@p", I figured it would be great for "revenge"!

    Glad to see they're wising up (but really, hide a couple of flashlights under the bed, JUST IN CASE!!!)!

  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a night-you must be more than fed up! I sure hope tomorrow is a better day! Hugs.
  8. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Oh Heather, what a day! It does sound like you ended stong though. Way To Go in how you handled the kids. I like the "don't talk to me tonight" and sticking to it. Your kids are old enough to do this with. Glad difficult child went to her room. Someone once told me how their child gets mad and stomps off to her room. My reply was that they have no idea how lucky they are that the kid did that because when an angry child stands her ground than things get very ugly. Rather have them mope to their rooms and talk about whatever later when EVERYONE has calmed down. Sounds like you may have gotten through to both of them by how you handled the situations. Good job!

    If mom gets too overwhelming, tell her to remember that she had her years of parenting it is now your turn to have final say.
  9. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    LOL Andy. My mom made the comment to me when I told her that I didn't like my kids tonight that parenting is a thankless job. Then she said so is grandparenting (meaning, mostly, difficult child). I told her it's because she wasn't doing it right. If the grandkids start with her, she is supposed to just refer them to the mom. She doesn't have to deal with this cr@p. :rofl: Why didn't she think of that? She caves waaaaayyyyy too much.

    She told me that I would see what it's like when my kids start bringing their kids over to me. I told her they can't do that if they can't find me! :devil:
    Lasted edited by : Jul 30, 2008
  10. Andy

    Andy Active Member

  11. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    I'm sorry about your day. I've had a few of those myself. Sometimes, I have a Mom Meltdown difficult child-style. I know, completely immature, but it sure works! Talk about difficult children scurrying to their rooms like cockroaches when the light switch is flipped.

    Son has been a major butt-head these days. I mean, he's always been difficult, but I think the hormones are beginning it kick in. He's difficult over everything, unless it's his way.

    Today, I was able to give him a taste of his own medicine.

    I broke down and bought the family a Wii. So, we've all been playing it. Though, mostly Son and Daughter. I showed Son how to play the tennis game and he's gotten good at it. However, when he loses, he get extremely frustrated, takes it personally, and does the usual difficult child stuff. When he wins, he yells at the TV, "So, how do you like me, now???" as if the computer players know he's talking to them.

    So, I'm playing the tennis game with Son and husband watching me. I'm doing pretty good, but then start to lose a few points. Son gets anxious and begins with his, "You want me to help you, you want to me beat them for you". When I tell him "no", he declares, "You are just gonna lose!". I bark at him to be quiet and then I lose another point, again. Son walks out of the room mumbling, "see, I told you were going to lose". What a little brat!

    Okay, you can't laugh at me when you read this part. After that I made a big come back and won the match. Of course, I let out a whoop. Then, I played another game and won again. The last two points with aces served. I know, a video game. But, man, I was proud!

    It was at this point that Son walzes back into the room. I boast how I won and how Son was sooooo sure I was going to lose. Then, I served Son some of this own medicine with, "So, how do you like me now?"

    Boosted by the his being taken back I got real close and asked in that rap/hip-hop bobbing, kinda way.

    "So, how...do....YOU(pointing at son)......like.......ME(pointing at me)........Now?"

    Then as the coup de gras I finished with a finger poking: "In YO face!"

    Aren't I such a great example as a mother??

    Anyway, Son kept his distance for the rest of the afternoon.

    Works for me! :peaceful: