Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
I CAN'T TAKE IT! CAN'T TAKE difficult child RELATIONSHIPS!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 633384" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Guide Me, I would ignore her, even if you have to leave the house. Her reactions to relationship breakups are overthetop and she needs help, but you can't provide it for her or make her go. Until she gets emotionally healthy and emotionally mature she will continue to make relationship mistakes...too many, too fast, too much drama, bad guys, hysteria when it's over, etc. It however is not YOUR problem. If she begs, she begs. It isn't within your control to stop her from doing it. You have no control over what she does.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter does sound a lot like a borderline personality disordered person, which many of our difficult child girls have, but, hey, I'm not a doctor and don't play one on here. Still, this could be why she is such an emotional wreck. Has she seen a psychiatric lately and told him/her the truth about how needy she is and how her emotions are so uncontrollable? Borderline is, in the future, going to be called (I've heard) Emotional Dysregulation Disorder, because it fits it better. Read up on it and see if it fits. If it does, you'll understand your daughter more, even if YOU can't fix her.by the way, it can look like bipolar. It isn't. Bipolars are not as emotionally unstable as borderlines and not as needy and can be controlled with medications. They often, however, co-exist. Again, just throwing this out there. Flush it, if you feel the nee3d or desire <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>There is help for borderline if she has it, but it requires intensive therapy, hard work, and many years of wanting and trying to change so that you gain control of your own emotions and learn coping skills. It's called dialectal behavioral therapy. You may want to read up on it.</p><p></p><p>Take care of yourself. You sound like you are in a fragile state yourself. Her angst isn't the end of the world, it's not the first time it's happened (and she survived) and until she makes many changes it won't be her last time. But it CAN be YOUR last time. You can decide to disengage emotionally from this drama and go on to the other things in your life and the other people in your life. You can also set a boundary, if you like. You can tell her that if she wants to scream and bawl over losing a man, she is free to do that, but not around you. It would be different if she were fifteen and this was her first love.</p><p></p><p>You need help and you can't deal with your grown child acting this way. If you don't want to tell her to leave, at least for a few days, then you need to learn to detach and, if you feel like you can't handle things anymore, please go to the emergency room. Don't play games with your life. Your life matters as much as hers.</p><p></p><p>There is no reason she should make you listen to the consequences of her impulsive and immature behavior. Have you read the article on detachment yet? It's really good! Promise!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 633384, member: 1550"] Guide Me, I would ignore her, even if you have to leave the house. Her reactions to relationship breakups are overthetop and she needs help, but you can't provide it for her or make her go. Until she gets emotionally healthy and emotionally mature she will continue to make relationship mistakes...too many, too fast, too much drama, bad guys, hysteria when it's over, etc. It however is not YOUR problem. If she begs, she begs. It isn't within your control to stop her from doing it. You have no control over what she does. Your daughter does sound a lot like a borderline personality disordered person, which many of our difficult child girls have, but, hey, I'm not a doctor and don't play one on here. Still, this could be why she is such an emotional wreck. Has she seen a psychiatric lately and told him/her the truth about how needy she is and how her emotions are so uncontrollable? Borderline is, in the future, going to be called (I've heard) Emotional Dysregulation Disorder, because it fits it better. Read up on it and see if it fits. If it does, you'll understand your daughter more, even if YOU can't fix her.by the way, it can look like bipolar. It isn't. Bipolars are not as emotionally unstable as borderlines and not as needy and can be controlled with medications. They often, however, co-exist. Again, just throwing this out there. Flush it, if you feel the nee3d or desire :) There is help for borderline if she has it, but it requires intensive therapy, hard work, and many years of wanting and trying to change so that you gain control of your own emotions and learn coping skills. It's called dialectal behavioral therapy. You may want to read up on it. Take care of yourself. You sound like you are in a fragile state yourself. Her angst isn't the end of the world, it's not the first time it's happened (and she survived) and until she makes many changes it won't be her last time. But it CAN be YOUR last time. You can decide to disengage emotionally from this drama and go on to the other things in your life and the other people in your life. You can also set a boundary, if you like. You can tell her that if she wants to scream and bawl over losing a man, she is free to do that, but not around you. It would be different if she were fifteen and this was her first love. You need help and you can't deal with your grown child acting this way. If you don't want to tell her to leave, at least for a few days, then you need to learn to detach and, if you feel like you can't handle things anymore, please go to the emergency room. Don't play games with your life. Your life matters as much as hers. There is no reason she should make you listen to the consequences of her impulsive and immature behavior. Have you read the article on detachment yet? It's really good! Promise! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
I CAN'T TAKE IT! CAN'T TAKE difficult child RELATIONSHIPS!
Top