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I CAN'T TAKE IT! CAN'T TAKE difficult child RELATIONSHIPS!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 633411" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>GuideMe, God isn't going to heal your daughter. He has given her resources to get help and it is up to her to take the offered therapy and it is hard work. It is 100% up to your daughter. It won't just go away.</p><p></p><p>God is also maybe nudging you to disengage and become less involved in your daughter's drama, which is of her own making and which she can learn how to stop if she wants. Maybe He wants you to live your own life and let your daughter learn from her own mistakes. You can give her resources that may help her get help, such as finding her a Dialectal Behavioral Therapist, is one is nearby, but you can't make her go.</p><p></p><p>There is no reason for you to live your life through your daughter's emotions. Yes, we cry for them when they are eight and Jenny teased them at school and we have to help them cope with that and usually they will let us help them. But at your daughter's age, they are on their own. We can't fix it. And they usually don't listen.</p><p></p><p>Every person on earth deserves a marvelous Golden Years and I notice you are still very young. I'd hate to see you get into the habit of supporting this adult the rest of your life. I hope you do read the recommended book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie and learn that you are a seperate person from your daughter and do not have to live through her...you have no reason to feel badly for her, although I understand this. However, she is making her own bed(s). She can get therapy to learn not to jump from guy to guy and to have self-respect and not beg, but ONLY SHE CAN DO IT. When you feel overwhelmed, walk away, walk away, walk away. Even leave the house for a jog or a walk or a trip to the library...she needs to take this adult walk herself. You need to enjoy the rest of your life. This is not your fault. Live by the Serenity Prayer:</p><p></p><p>"God grant me the SERENITY to accept the thinks I can not change" (you can not change your daughter)</p><p>"the COURAGE to accept the things I can" (you can change your own reactions to her and live a good life)</p><p>"and the WISDOM to know the difference" (you know what you can control and what you can't.</p><p></p><p>Around your age I had a necklace with the Serenity Prayer that I wore all the time. I was just learning about detachment around forty and I had to wear the necklace as a constant reminder. I lost it and I wish I still had it. But I do keep that prayer on my refrigerator as a magnet and recite that prayer in the morning and at night. For so ffew words, it says a mountain of wise advice.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 633411, member: 1550"] GuideMe, God isn't going to heal your daughter. He has given her resources to get help and it is up to her to take the offered therapy and it is hard work. It is 100% up to your daughter. It won't just go away. God is also maybe nudging you to disengage and become less involved in your daughter's drama, which is of her own making and which she can learn how to stop if she wants. Maybe He wants you to live your own life and let your daughter learn from her own mistakes. You can give her resources that may help her get help, such as finding her a Dialectal Behavioral Therapist, is one is nearby, but you can't make her go. There is no reason for you to live your life through your daughter's emotions. Yes, we cry for them when they are eight and Jenny teased them at school and we have to help them cope with that and usually they will let us help them. But at your daughter's age, they are on their own. We can't fix it. And they usually don't listen. Every person on earth deserves a marvelous Golden Years and I notice you are still very young. I'd hate to see you get into the habit of supporting this adult the rest of your life. I hope you do read the recommended book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie and learn that you are a seperate person from your daughter and do not have to live through her...you have no reason to feel badly for her, although I understand this. However, she is making her own bed(s). She can get therapy to learn not to jump from guy to guy and to have self-respect and not beg, but ONLY SHE CAN DO IT. When you feel overwhelmed, walk away, walk away, walk away. Even leave the house for a jog or a walk or a trip to the library...she needs to take this adult walk herself. You need to enjoy the rest of your life. This is not your fault. Live by the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the SERENITY to accept the thinks I can not change" (you can not change your daughter) "the COURAGE to accept the things I can" (you can change your own reactions to her and live a good life) "and the WISDOM to know the difference" (you know what you can control and what you can't. Around your age I had a necklace with the Serenity Prayer that I wore all the time. I was just learning about detachment around forty and I had to wear the necklace as a constant reminder. I lost it and I wish I still had it. But I do keep that prayer on my refrigerator as a magnet and recite that prayer in the morning and at night. For so ffew words, it says a mountain of wise advice. [/QUOTE]
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I CAN'T TAKE IT! CAN'T TAKE difficult child RELATIONSHIPS!
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