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Failure to Thrive
I caught my 20 year old stealing from us again today
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<blockquote data-quote="Jabberwockey" data-source="post: 698855" data-attributes="member: 18238"><p>My heart goes out for you. Your son sounds SO much like ours. I've known people who locked their bedroom doors to keep difficult children from coming in and stealing, locked all valuables up, etc... but personally I refuse to do it. Its been almost two years since the last time our son stole from us and he is currently living with us. Long story, look for Lil's posts for details if interested, but he's starting to get his act together. A bit. Still lazy around the house, still smokes pot, but has held a job for two months and hasn't stolen from us since staying here so that's something. Sorry, got off topic. I personally refuse to lock my bedroom door to keep him out. If I think that he's coming in to steal from me then he's gone immediately. I work in a prison. I refuse to live in one.</p><p></p><p>Have heard many people talk about having contracts with their adult children while living with them. The only purpose they serve is to be able to show your child that yes, they in fact DID agree to do this, this, and this or get kicked out. Whether you set ground rules or make a contract, make sure to enforce it with actions instead of idle threats otherwise you're wasting your time.</p><p></p><p>I doubt seriously that your husband is ready to write your son off forever. Remember, we fathers think differently than you mothers. You nurture and protect them while we train and prepare them. Nurturing tends to never end but training and preparation do. We just hit a point where you shove them out the door and remind them that we've told you what you need to know, go figure it out.</p><p></p><p>Try not to look on him as your little boy. He is a grown man who is making fairly crappy life choices. And it is all about choice. He is choosing to do drugs and break the rules. That's why men are the way they are. Make the choice, gain the benefit or suffer the consequence of it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jabberwockey, post: 698855, member: 18238"] My heart goes out for you. Your son sounds SO much like ours. I've known people who locked their bedroom doors to keep difficult children from coming in and stealing, locked all valuables up, etc... but personally I refuse to do it. Its been almost two years since the last time our son stole from us and he is currently living with us. Long story, look for Lil's posts for details if interested, but he's starting to get his act together. A bit. Still lazy around the house, still smokes pot, but has held a job for two months and hasn't stolen from us since staying here so that's something. Sorry, got off topic. I personally refuse to lock my bedroom door to keep him out. If I think that he's coming in to steal from me then he's gone immediately. I work in a prison. I refuse to live in one. Have heard many people talk about having contracts with their adult children while living with them. The only purpose they serve is to be able to show your child that yes, they in fact DID agree to do this, this, and this or get kicked out. Whether you set ground rules or make a contract, make sure to enforce it with actions instead of idle threats otherwise you're wasting your time. I doubt seriously that your husband is ready to write your son off forever. Remember, we fathers think differently than you mothers. You nurture and protect them while we train and prepare them. Nurturing tends to never end but training and preparation do. We just hit a point where you shove them out the door and remind them that we've told you what you need to know, go figure it out. Try not to look on him as your little boy. He is a grown man who is making fairly crappy life choices. And it is all about choice. He is choosing to do drugs and break the rules. That's why men are the way they are. Make the choice, gain the benefit or suffer the consequence of it. [/QUOTE]
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I caught my 20 year old stealing from us again today
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