I'm almost too embarrassed to post here, but I feel the need to get it all out. I absolutely ruined Thanksgiving this year. We spent the night at my mom's, like we usually do every year. This year the only difference is I came to her house on a completely empty stomach. I am on a diet and I didn't want any extra calories so I skipped breakfast and lunch. Big mistake. By the time we got there, dinner was still about an hour away from being served. As usual, my mom had wine there. As usual, I had a glass. Or two. Or three. Normally I can drink a whole bottle of wine on the weekend when the kids are at their dad's no problem. I don't even get a buzz off of it. All I feel is relaxed. So Thanksgiving night I thought I could handle a few glasses before dinner. I was wrong. By the time dinner was served, I was hammered. According to my family members, I was talking very loud. So loud I was yelling. I kept repeating myself over and over and over again. By the time my kids had finished their plates, I blacked out. I don't remember anything after that. Both kids asked for second helpings on turkey. I went off on them. Yelled at them and told them they were making pigs of themselves. Something I would normally NEVER do, but I was drunk. So much so, that my mom suggested I go lay down in her bedroom and sleep it off. A couple of hours later I sobered up and came out to the kitchen. She then proceeded to tell me all about my horrendous behavior at the dinner table. She told me that difficult child 1 was very upset at me. Everyone else was just annoyed and ****** off at me. I don't remember anything. I apologized profusely to my mom. difficult child 1 told me that my niece was making fun of me behind my back the whole night. Then difficult child told me I was an embarrasment. I totally apologized to her for embarrassing her. I felt so bad about it that I apologized to both kids over and over again the next day. I ruined everybody's time and I feel so guilty. Normally I am quite shy and reserved and I never behave this way. I will never drink on an empty stomach again. As a matter of fact, I am not drinking during any family functions again. My mom is having her annual Christmas party on the 15th. I'm afraid to have even one glass of wine. I am going to stick to diet coke the whole night. It's kind of a bummer, because I really do enjoy my wine, but I promised the kids I would never do it again. Hopefully they find it in their hearts to forgive me. They say they do, but difficult child 1 especially holds grudges. She told my mom that night that she wishes she had a "normal family." I hope she can let it go and learn to forgive, but I don't blame her if she doesn't. I ruined everything.