I could control my anger, Mom...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by flutterbee, Jan 2, 2008.

  1. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    ...if you're weren't so mean. :faint:

    That's what difficult child told me tonight as she's refusing medications. No good reason for refusing...no complaints of side effects...just 'hate taking pills.'

    You know what? If she wants to play this little game, fine by me. But no more Mrs. Nice Guy. She's going to find out real quick what her attitude will cost her.

    Anyone need a laptop? :devil:
  2. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Well, sounds like a battle is about to commence at your house.

    Hope everyone comes through relatively unscathed.

  3. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Taking her laptop away? Oh, you horrid witch! I hope no one calls child services on you!

  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hope you put your :warrior: on - sounds like a showdown!

  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Geez Heather, if you weren't so mean kt would take her medications as well. And she would clean her room, not throw her little girl tantrums or her teenage tantrums, do dishes with-o whining & maybe just maybe show a bit of respect around me with-o another adult having to be in the room. :crazy2: :smile:

    Will you for heaven's sake clean up your act, Heather? It's hell on our home life here! :rofl: :smile: :rofl:

    Don't you love how it's somehow all YOUR fault? :crazy2: Good luck today. :thumbsup:
  6. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    My difficult child says it's my fault for everything...when he's frustrated just my prescense makes him angry. I make him throw his video controllers at the wall...I make him kick and bite me...If I just let him alone...he's be fine Geez!!

    Go Heather
  7. Josie

    Josie Active Member

    :surprise: It was truly scary when my difficult child skipped her Lexapro even one day. She was her unmedicated self magnified.

    I hope your difficult child finds out quickly that she needs the medications.
  8. tammyjh

    tammyjh New Member

    Sounds like my difficult child. Her most used line is..... ""I wouldn't act this way if you respected me more""
    She also has a thousand other excuses as to why she can't control herself when she's angry. Good luck and I hope she takes her medications.
  9. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Yup, definitely time to show her what mean is! Wonder what she would do if you spent one day not saying anything in a nice voice? I still hear that garbage and it still gets to me. Now, why should anyone be nice and cheerful when chores aren't done, homework is a battle royal, rooms are total pigsties, etc., etc.? Good luck!
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    You are mean? She doesnt know mean! Your kids have nice stuff and you try hard for them. Wonder how she would feel if she was Oliver Twist? LOL.
  11. lynnp

    lynnp New Member

    We could have an auction to raise money for a vacation! I'll throw in a PS2!
  12. weatheringthestorm

    weatheringthestorm New Member

    Wow, we've solved all of our problems. If WE were just nicer THEY would be able to be nicer. That's my son's opinion anyways. We're (mostly me) the cause of all of his angry outburst, mood swings, etc. As he likes to tell us he doesn't have these problems when he's with his friends. He never gets that angry with them. Of course they don't make him do his hw, chores, etc - but that's not why he's happier with them. It's our fault!

    At least we know what the real problem is!!

    I really do hope she'll go back on her medications. I've been there and it gets really ugly. We've had to inform my difficult child that if he's off his medications for more than 24 hours we're putting him in the psychiatric hospital. where he'll be forced to take them. We've recently had to draw some serious lines in the sand concerning what he has to do to be allowed to live at home. Taking his medications is #1 on the list.
  13. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    You are mean with a capital M. Snap.
  14. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    By the way, as we speak, I am being told how mean I am.

    Tink is sitting behind me, on my bed, trying to get my attention. She has only had my undivided since I woke up this morning. I told her it was mommy time and I needed a break. She is sitting here telling me that she is going to choke herself (with her necklace) because kids have to be with their moms and since I am ignoring her, that's how mean I am.

    You all got that? THAT is how mean I am. I told her to give me the necklace and I would give her a head start.
  15. navineja

    navineja New Member

    And all this time I thought that my kids' behavior issues were due to the abuse! Now I know that it is just because Heather is mean!
    Oh yeah though, most of our friends (those who still will hang around us) think that it is because of the way that we handle the girls. If we were just less strict and let them do more of what they want, they wouldn't act up so much. HUH?????
    When does anyone realize (kid or friend) that control lies with the child and they must achieve it? AAAAARRRRRGGGGG!!!!
  16. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Okay Wynter.....What if you ARE mean?

    Have you asked difficult child EXACTLY what she meant when she said "YOU ARE MEAN MOM?"

    When this was presented to me - I thought "ME? MEAN? Is he smoking bubble gum cigars with the wrapper ON? Has he A CLUE what living with him is? That's mean."

    So I said "Come here, sit down and talk to me - tell me about me. Let me know what you think - define mean. When you are done I want the same attention I'm about to give you, and if you don't give me equal time - then YOU are mean."

    And I watched the clock and for 10 minutes - TEN minutes of him telling me (me taking note) of ALL the things that I was mean about and unfair over, and what an OGRE I have been since I got sick, and how I NEVER listen anymore to him - not really. And I took notes, then it was my turn - and we did pound out a few things that I really wasn't aware I was doing.

    You aren't mean, but you may be cranky and snappy due to your illness and aches and pains and NOT know it because you aren't feeling well. When you don't feel well things (for me anyway) seem to be magnified.

    You are so mean - can be kidspeak for a number of things - but if you don't know what "YOU ARE MEAN" in their minds means - how can you ever expect to have them change? It's like saying "That's right Wynter - I'm the mean one, I'm the parent, you do what I say and that's the end of that." If your boss was mean and you said that to him - would you want a chance to explain what he could do better or would you want him to look at you and say "Your right employee 112 - and NOW because you think I'm mean I'm going to SHOW you how mean I can be - Mr. Cratchett ONE lump of coal!"

    It's gotta work both ways -

    As far as refusing medications - WHY? Maybe there can be a compromise between the two of you - I know she has to take her medications, but thsi is like deal or no deal. If she thinks she's changed something about you to her advantage she WINS (ding ding ding) and then YOU say "Okay if I'm going to (this) then our deal will be for YOU to take your medications without question. NO NO NO I am NOT NOT NOT saying that you are mean, that you've ever been mean,you are a darling - really one of the nicest, most soft spoken people I've ever met. If you don't give a child a chance to speak after you've calmed down - how are you ever going to find out how to fix whatever it is that is REALLY bothering her.

    I used to take 28 pills a day. I was told without them i would (fill in the blank) my son only took 2 a day and when he refused I hit the roof stating how much misery and joy is was for me to take my 28 a day - and you know what - he really didn't want to hear about me - it was all about HIM. Most teens and tweens - it IS ALL ABOUT THEM.

    I'd give her a chance to explain herself before you go jumping on the wagon with the likes of me - and being a real meanie.

    Oh and if you choose not to talk to her about what's going on- then I'm putting in a bid for the laptop. lol. AND she had on a really cute shirt in that picture you posted, I'd like that - and didn't you mention she can bake? I'll take her for a weekend, and then I'm sure she has a boom box - I need one. But then this is mean. But I never said I was nice.

    ps. no she did NOT pay me to say this.
  17. Peaceful

    Peaceful New Member

    When my daughter refused to take her medications orally as prescribed I let her know I'd be giving them to her rectally instead.

    She thought about it and decided taking pills by mouth wasn't so bad after all.

  18. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

  19. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Glad to know I'm not the only mean mom!
  20. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My difficult child used to say that she wouldn't be breaking the rules if we didn't have any.

    You have to love difficult child logic. :rofl:

    Here's to mean moms everywhere. :smile: