hi hope everyone and difficult child's are well. i haven't been in much been trying Occupational Therapist (OT) handle difficult child who has been a handful will be getting results from evaluation this coming thursday couldn't come sooner. also older one has been better but still giving me a run for my money. then ofcourse my new issues i''ve been handling. then well boyfriend did something that hurt so very bad. ihave serious trust issues due to my past i've been rough on him and i know i have been. yet he owns business gets alot of texts from various staff etc. it's hard to deal with for me because i have such serious trust issues. i do the best i can especially now with all this weird stuff flooding back flashbacks nightmares, etc. so some girl text him a few weeks ago he said she was looking for info shifts, etc. i said ok i saw the text because i was standing near him her name came up. then days later he gets text diff number saying good morning what are you doing on tis lovely day thing? i approach him again and say ok whose this now? he says oh it's that girl. i said what do you mean it's under diff number. oh that's her new phone she got new phone. ok i say but gut tells me hes lying but i'm so issue packed right now i dont' know one thing for another betweeen my stuff difficult child's etc. head's in clouds. long story short i haven't checked his phone i've been trying to trust really trying i check it this morning something came over me and i felt a great need to. and so there it is this girl again saying hi to him and we can hang out tmrw if tha'Tourette's Syndrome ok with you sent last night i guess it came in after he shut phone off. so i'm telling you i couldn't breath for second we went thru so mcuh stuff hte other day regarding text he made me think i was nuts telling me it's her new phone it's just my trust issues, etc. to the point i thought wow jen you are seroiusly losing it pls stop torturing this man. i dont' even close phon ei just leave it open to that text and go outside to smoke kids are sleeping. he comes down to talk to me i didn't want to hear anything all i say is how long has it been going on? his response is i'm not cheating you know i'm not. make a long story short. it's a girl who used to work there. they started talking when i dont' know text phone calls, etc. he says then she started asking if they could hang out go out together that's when he knew he messed up. yet i saw text from her last week saying i thought of something fun to do on tuesday. i said wow you are making plans on our date ngiht with another woman. he lied to me and said no tha'Tourette's Syndrome the girl that wanted shifts we were talking and i asked her what you and i can do on tuesday. oh god al i can say is wow i'm blown away. i called the girl yup i did. i said ok who are you? she was so nasty i said look this is .... she responded with him and i are freinds if you have a problem with that. i said actually i do at midngiht to be texting to go out together yup i'd say so i said i'm probably old enough to be your mother. i said it's not all your fault he had no business talking to you,etc. she hung up on me. so here i am now he swears he menat nothing by it he says he's not sure why he was talking to her probably the pressure of it all. i said ok so that means whenever your under pressure your going to start relationships with other woman outside our relationship? he said i menat nothing by it yet then she started asking me out. i said she text you about last tuesday you lied said it was for us now you were textin gher last night. if you realized you messed up and wanted to end it why did you keep texting her? so am i losing my mind? he says i screwed up because i know how you are about me having fremale friends and i was afraid to tell you so i lied. i have no idea what to do wtih any of this right now.