wow
thank you so much. i'd like to respond to everyone's responses but i can't keep up lol. i agree we shouldn't rush anything at all at this point. i have some major trust issues that have nothing to do with him, yet he has done some highly questionable things in which have made me doubt. so what i tried to do over our very long conversation is find out why he's lying instead of bashing him about it. this is what i learned.
- he said that he knew i would not react well to the upsetting news and reason he was hurt. his ex found out we were getting married and really laid into him. saying you aren't putting your 3 kids first. what are you going to do cut my maintenance now? you have her kids sleeping in what was to be your kids bedrooms? why are you putting her first and her kids first? on and on.
- he knew if he came to me or so he says i'd flip my lid the claws would come out and i'd loose it. he also said that he needed some perspective and insight from someone that knew her a long time. hence the former best friend one of which he tortured me with for 5 mos. of texting **** flirting.
- that he doesnt' do anything wrong, the reason he lies so often is because he is afraid of my reaction to almost anything, doesn't want to upset me, and figures once again (yea we have been here before) that it protects me. which it only creates more drama
-he said if i hadn't checked his phone this wouldn't of happened. i said yea but i wouldn't of known you were almost close to tears over this.
so we usually do date night on tues. instead we took the kids my kids out to dinner and then rented a movie and spent time wtih them. we actually had a good time. then later we sat and talked in the car after we tucked them in with a bottle of wine. we can't and don't get out too often. driveway/truck dates often work well.
so for now i'm steering clear of wedding talk. we did tell kids yet i dont' have to do anything until june. so i told him that i desired a healthy relationship. he said stop checking my phone then i do everything for you, love you, support you in every way i am not cheating now nor will i ever i go to work and come home to you every day for the past year i'm not going anywhere you can take a few deep breaths your ok this time.
did i mention i'm in therapy??????????? lol
thank you so much. i'd like to respond to everyone's responses but i can't keep up lol. i agree we shouldn't rush anything at all at this point. i have some major trust issues that have nothing to do with him, yet he has done some highly questionable things in which have made me doubt. so what i tried to do over our very long conversation is find out why he's lying instead of bashing him about it. this is what i learned.
- he said that he knew i would not react well to the upsetting news and reason he was hurt. his ex found out we were getting married and really laid into him. saying you aren't putting your 3 kids first. what are you going to do cut my maintenance now? you have her kids sleeping in what was to be your kids bedrooms? why are you putting her first and her kids first? on and on.
- he knew if he came to me or so he says i'd flip my lid the claws would come out and i'd loose it. he also said that he needed some perspective and insight from someone that knew her a long time. hence the former best friend one of which he tortured me with for 5 mos. of texting **** flirting.
- that he doesnt' do anything wrong, the reason he lies so often is because he is afraid of my reaction to almost anything, doesn't want to upset me, and figures once again (yea we have been here before) that it protects me. which it only creates more drama
-he said if i hadn't checked his phone this wouldn't of happened. i said yea but i wouldn't of known you were almost close to tears over this.
so we usually do date night on tues. instead we took the kids my kids out to dinner and then rented a movie and spent time wtih them. we actually had a good time. then later we sat and talked in the car after we tucked them in with a bottle of wine. we can't and don't get out too often. driveway/truck dates often work well.
so for now i'm steering clear of wedding talk. we did tell kids yet i dont' have to do anything until june. so i told him that i desired a healthy relationship. he said stop checking my phone then i do everything for you, love you, support you in every way i am not cheating now nor will i ever i go to work and come home to you every day for the past year i'm not going anywhere you can take a few deep breaths your ok this time.
did i mention i'm in therapy??????????? lol
