i decided to play it safe :)

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Jena, Oct 21, 2008.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member


    thanks for all the great responses and total honesty when i threw out my business idea thread on what i truly wanted to do.

    Yet, guess what you were all right!!! :( lol

    I talked to a few friends, attorneys, my old office it's a great idea but one that would demand a whole lot of insurance and me truly stepping carefully so as not to P*ss off any attorneys or judges.......... (ok so not me) i almost always upset the judge where i used to work, inbetween him cat napping on the bench......so scary

    so i'm going another route. won't be the same work but still helping people. I'm going to be a guardian, I've signed up for the seminar and classes I should be up and running soon enough. It's hard to get on the Part 31 list at the courts after studying Article 81 yet I am going to utilize the contacts I have from my old job, and the friends I made out here.

    I love guardianship work, and the attorneys just do "minimal" in these cases, the meet with the client person they are court appointed guardian to the standard once a year which is mandatory and their done, they pay their bills, pop them into nursing homes, and their done and wait for their check. I could do alot here I think.

    I know me I"d meet with them a few times figure out where they are, how I can make them more comfortable overlook their financial situation, truly make a difference in their lives. so i think this is the ticket for me. and yes legally safe :) i'm soo crazy yet i'm just not lovin attorneys or i should say the ones i've run across.

    i'm also waiting on a pt county job right now through my therapist believe it or not. to work in her office with her as a respite worker. I think that will atleast bring some type of paycheck in and also a doing good thing.

    I'm a tree hugger at heart and right now no one's calling in regards to the million resumes i've sent out so i figure it's my time to see what i can do to make money and also give back.

    thanks again i can always depend on brutal honesty here, i love that. :)
  2. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    I think your background (mom to difficult child + law knowledge) would make you a very good guardian. I hope it works out well for you.
  3. Jena

    Jena New Member


    I'm at a point where I need to get something going workwise again. If I had a baby I could justify my presence home everyday yet I do not. So, when difficult child's at school I need to earn an income. If we were floating in it, even I had my savings in tack etc. I may just relax for a bit. Yet the kids need stuff and I'm not used to relying on a man to provide such things, I've always done things on my own. So, I think it will also be good for me mentally. Work really did create such a balance for me, towards the end it was so hard and straining with difficult child melting down at school me running to her. Yet now we have gotten to the point where I do not run to the school anymore, or take her out when she visits the nurse, etc.

    So i feel comfortable in working during her school hours. thanks for your kind words. Getting the certificate through the bar is actually easy its talking judges into appointing a non attny guardian to a case that will be the challenge.

  4. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Jen -

    I too had thought with my experience I would make a good Guardian Ad Litem. I discussed it with my therapist. His reaction wasn't the one I was looking for but for posterity sake I'm going to throw to you what he said to me, and for the record I have never gone back to be a GAL.

    When the therapist heard that I wanted to and considered helping another child - he told me with my issues, and abuse background that he felt it would be better not only for me, but for the kids I would represent in court to have a little (actually a lot) more therapy before I would be a real benefit to other children who were potentially going to have WAY bigger issues than I had ever been exposed to with my own situation.

    I thought about it for a minute because my life while married/abuse/dealings with my son had been and were still hell. So I had to honestly look at what I had accomplished within my own recovery. I was on the path to wellness working with a good therapist, and even though I had a huge heart and a good working knowledge - the problems these kids could have "could" set my own wellness back. He felt that I really wasnt' strong enough to sit in a room or go to a house with a child who had been burned or raped or sodomized, or beaten or tortured. After a very short time thinking - it occured to me that I had only considered that I would be given children who were from parents who divorced, or died etc....I had never considered all the ramifications of the sick world and how it would affect my own mental state via watching this happen to a child and basically the damage was done. I couldn't fix my own child - how could I be a voice for another one so harmed? How could I look into their eyes when the judge decided against what I thought and send them back to the abusive household or the home with the elderly but stable grandma - when I KNEW they needed love, stability, therapy - ??? Honestly - I can't adopt them - so then what - they go back to their situation for another hearing in 5 weeks and I just quit thinking about them? Not gonna happen -

    He asked me to think about it - and consider what he had said - then he asked me to ask myself if I honestly felt that I personally was mentally in the best place in my life, with my child, in my relationships and if I could answer YES - then go for it. But I wasn't - I had a lot of work to do and even though I have been released from his care - I'm still struggling with flashbacks, and PTSD.

    Just wanted you to think about yourself first and how your own life and situations would or wouldn't be healthy and how that could affect a child who needs someone to be their voice.

    Personally? After thinking like that? I still today would not do it. I do advocate for children but through writing campaigns to our state officials and governor and my voice is heard on mental health day.

    -something maybe to consider - not saying you wouldn't be great at helping - but just wanted to give you another view.

    Court is stressful - damaged children and their surroundings are stressful, NOT being able to do what YOU think is in the best interest of a damaged child could send you home at night wishing you had never done this -
  5. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Its a good idea, but I ditto Star's response.
    Even as the gaurdian, your hands will be tied as to what you are allowed to do. If you get handed a bad case, as Star describes, how will you handle it? I'm not saying don't do it - we need more of them - I'm just saying to think it through, there could be ugly, ugly situations.
    I wanted to be a teacher. I still want to be a teacher. But after dealing with difficult child 1 and his mother, where for so long, we were forced to sit on our hands, unable to do a thing, waiting for her to commit a crime big enough to justify intervention, while she neglected and abused him and her other children for her own personal gain... the sleep I lost, the overall effects it had on me, my family, and my job, etc...I realized I could not do justice to a room full of kids knowing that I WOULD be encountering another child in the same sort of situation, possibly even worse (in comparison, difficult child 1's background is minor beans compared to many), and where I would have even less ability to do anything about it.
    Just think about it.
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member


    You bring forth such an excellent point it's strange you said that because that's one of the issues I had to think over carefully at my own prompting. I realized last weekend long story short I tried to help a rape victim and it sent me through a ton of disheartening emotions through the week and anxiety beyond compare. Wow i was shocked that i wasnt' ready yet. It was through a freind of a friend.

    anyway i thought it over carefully and that isn't the guardianship cases i'd take. i'd take guardianships older people, can't handle kids initially. so i'm going to utilize my contacts at the court my old boss is friends with the judges to ensure that is the only cases in which i receive. Star no way could i do it now. I can't even go to an animal shelter without getting upset, can you imagine a hurt child? forget it. i would require multiple medications at that point.

    Do you find that the ptsd can create your emotions to be scattered at times and make you jump all over the place? My therapist tells me it's the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), mixed with ptsd and slight adhd i have going on that causes this in me. it is annoying, i see it in myself, i am trying to truly watch myself.
  7. Jena

    Jena New Member


    thanks, good point made as well. I"m sorry to hear that you also wanted something that you knew in the end, after thinking about it logically it wouldn't be benefiical to you on multiple levels.

    sometimes in life we have to stop and pause and truly think about the effects and ramifications it will have on our already challenging lives.

    :) thanks for sharing that.